Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling at Plano Christian Counseling is a great place to discuss the plans you have for your marriage in the future and the expectations. You may quickly discover that your future spouse may not have the same vision for the union as you do. That does not mean that you call it quits on the wedding but instead look at it as an opportunity for you to learn to make compromises while leading a fulfilling life together.

Here are some of the topics we see with our clients in premarital counseling:

Common marital problems – By seeking premarital counseling, you may prevent common marital issues like unmet expectations, debt, problems with blending families, betrayal, extramarital affairs, anger, and conflicts. We introduce each topic and provide ways to overcome these situations.

When children are involved – Sometimes a marriage unifies not only the couple but their children from previous relationships or marriages. This can cause jealousy, resentment, or conflict in the family if the new siblings do not get along. We can help you find ways of bringing the family together and even counsel the children on how to cope with this recent change in their lives.

Communication skills – Resolving conflict efficiently starts with communication. Learning communication skills can last you a lifetime and defuse most arguments. A counselor can teach you techniques to ensure that both of you are being heard.

Expectations and roles – Sometimes, a couple comes into a marriage with expectations based on their childhood. Perhaps the new husband’s mother was a stay-at-home mom, and he does not want his new wife to work. Or maybe he expects her to work outside the home and do all the household chores, cooking, and laundry. Or perhaps the new wife expects that of her husband. Getting these expectations out in the open before the wedding can save both parties from stress and heartache later.

Goals for the future – What is your vision for your marriage 5, 10, 20, or even 50 years from now? Does your future spouse share a similar vision? Now is the time to discuss goals for your marriage and brainstorm what the two of you want. We can help you set those goals and break them down into manageable tasks to reach milestones and make those dreams come true.

Sexual expectations – You may feel awkward discussing sex with a premarital counselor. Still, sexual frustrations and issues can lead to other problems such as a lack of emotional intimacy, pornography, and adultery. It is healthy to discuss sex within the boundaries of marriage and the expectations that both your and your future spouse hold.

Finances – Are either one of you or both coming into marriage with debt? Do you agree with how to budget, save, and invest? Do you plan to tithe? These are critical topics to discuss as money is a tool that provides choices for your future. We can help you identify where there is an area for growth, teach you financial responsibility, and share resources to arm you for wise decisions.

Boundaries with in-laws and other extended family – You love your future spouse. But is there a problem with the in-laws? If your in-laws and extended family are clueless about boundaries, this can cause a problem in the marriage. Jesus said, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (Matthew 19:5 NLT)

This is sometimes difficult for family members to grasp when they are used to having access to their son or daughter at all hours. We can show you how to set boundaries lovingly yet firmly in the family so your marriage can grow strong.

Trust and honesty – A marriage must contain trust. When trust is broken, it can take years to repair the damage. If honesty is a problem, there is probably a deeper issue at play, and we can help identify and root it out before it has a chance to sprout weeds of betrayal in your relationship.

Faith and your roles in the church – Do you and your future spouse share the same faith? Do you work in the church? As Christian believers, we should use our talents and gifts to serve others, especially to build the church. But it can be easy to spend too much time away from our spouse doing good things. The premarital counselors in Plano can help you schedule the time to serve while not neglecting your own relationship.

The counselors at Plano Christian Counseling are open to discussing other topics of concern with you and offering insight and methods to help you manage those issues in the future. We have a team of specialists who work with the latest breakthroughs in premarital and marriage counseling with a faith-based angle.