A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

When we’re feeling nostalgic, it’s tempting to say that things were simpler, better, or easier in the past. Often, parents of adolescents find themselves saying this as they consider the brave new world their children are navigating and trying to make sense of. It can be scary, and nostalgia can be a form of retreat.

There’s nothing wrong with nostalgia; however, it can paralyze you in the present or blind you from seeing the beauty and opportunities that exist in the present. When it comes to social media, many folks would rather things were simpler for their own sake or for the sake of their kids. There are some good reasons for this, but a more productive approach is to gain a better understanding of how to make the best use of these tools.

The Various Uses of Social Media

Social media is a relatively young invention. Throughout the last few decades, there have been different iterations of the same idea of connecting human beings to each other and giving them a platform to share themselves and what they care about. We are deeply social creatures, which was by God’s design. As the internet has created a space to share ideas across the globe, social media has grown apace to meet that need.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2

Depending on the platform, the intention behind many social media applications is for individuals to be able to share whatever they find interesting, and for other people to interact with what’s been shared. It’s taking what we do in our everyday in-person interactions, and then scaling that up so that we’re communicating with a global audience. Instead of telling the person you’re with how much you’re enjoying your vacation, you’re telling the world.

Social media can be used for a variety of things, such as catching up on news stories as they’re unfolding, hearing what people are discussing and focusing on at the moment, to updating family members and friends about what’s happening in your life. Social media can also be used to entertain, to educate, or to educate through entertainment. It can be a powerful tool to share ideas and shape important conversations, or to simply bring smiles to others.

In other words, social media is a way for us to share the whole range of the human experience with others. You can use your social media platforms to say and do what you’d like, within that platform’s guidelines. You can also use it to understand and interact with what others are doing. You can use it as much or as little as you like, and share as much or as little of yourself as you’d like. To a large extent, you can control what you see and who you interact with.

For adolescents, social media works in much the same way, but often leans heavily to the side of connecting with others, sharing what’s happening in their lives, and seeing what’s happening in the lives of others. Social media allows adolescents to create online personas and to build social networks that allow them to share common interests, struggles, or experiences. It also offers opportunities to be known and recognized.

Some Pros and Cons of Social Media

Various conversations around social media and adolescents will often focus on the negative impact of social media. This focus is warranted, and while these negatives are real, there’s more to social media than its negatives.

Some of the pros of social media include the fact that there is something for everyone. The adolescent years can be harrowing as one tries to find their place in the world. Finding or forming a community online can be a way of sharing common interests and feeling like one belongs. On social media, there are many different groups, streams, channels, and communities one can join and feel a sense of belonging.

Social media can be quite entertaining, and it’s a space that’s highly creative. Whether it’s someone rolling out a new dance that goes viral, a channel for marble races, or a master chocolatier demonstrating their skills, there’s a lot of fascinating content out there just waiting to be found and enjoyed. Social media can thus be a place where people put out their best, where you can find creative inspiration for your own ideas.

Depending on how you use it, social media can also be a place to encounter new and challenging ideas. You can interact with people from all walks of life, whose life experiences could mirror or be vastly different from your own. The adolescent years are a time of self-discovery and of finding one’s place in the world. Social media brings the world right to your phone or tablet, and it can play a positive role in that self-discovery.

Despite these positives, social media also has its negatives. Like everything else that we create, we can bring benefits, and we can bring harm to ourselves and others through our inventions. As adolescence is a crucial time for a person to shape their identity, social media, and the way it functions can work against a teen’s insecurities. Teens have undertaken dangerous viral challenges for a chance at popularity and fleeting moments of fame.

Additionally, social media isn’t necessarily a safe space. Cyberbullying is a reality that makes online excursions fraught with uncertainty. Anonymity can provide the veil for people to troll, insult, and demean others, with few to no consequences upon the perpetrator for that behavior. One’s self-esteem, peace, and confidence can be shattered through unkind online interactions, and that can scar a teen for life.

Lastly, overconsumption of social media can snare a person in unreality. People filter their personas and experiences online, and one can get caught up in unrealistic beauty standards. The unreality of social media and having the information you receive filtered through algorithms means one can end up believing a limited and skewed version of what the world is like.

Using Social Media Well

There are wise words spoken in the book of Ecclesiastes which say, “Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.” (Ecclesiastes 7:10, NIV) For a parent who recalls earlier times, it can be tempting to want to shut social media out entirely from their children.

Instead, it’s better to try and help one’s children to cultivate discernment and wisdom to know how to live right here and right now. They can learn to develop self-control and critical thinking around what they are exposed to.

Some steps that an adolescent can take to use social media well, by themselves or with the help of a parent, include the following:

Learn to sift

Social media is a mixture of what’s good and fruitful, and what isn’t constructive or edifying. It’s important to learn how to sift what you encounter, to learn to recognize real from fake, and to understand that what you see and what people show you on social media isn’t necessarily real life. Don’t take things at face value and learn to ask critical questions.

Gravitate toward the beautiful

The apostle Paul wrote, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8, NIV) Some online content helps you become more thoughtful, kind, compassionate, loving, or appreciative of life.

On the other hand, some content incenses hate toward others, and it diminishes the value of others as beings made in God’s image. If you find yourself feeling less Christ-like love for others after consuming social media, maybe that’s not for you, and you need to follow other content creators. If you find you hate yourself and your body because of the content you’re consuming, it’s time to switch things up.

Limit your usage

A person’s life on social media can become more important than their life with others in real life. Limit your consumption of social media and prioritize real life interactions with others. Decide to keep and use a limited number of platforms so that you don’t eat up your time constantly scrolling and refreshing your feeds.

Seek help

Social media addiction is real, and there are many issues that can be instigated or worsened by social media such as depression, anxiety, body image issues, and so on. Talk with a counselor so they can help you deal effectively with social media and develop a healthy relationship with it. Your counselor can also help you develop tools to cope with life issues that affect your well-being.

Reaching Out

If you feel you need support either parenting your teen or your teen needs help in relationship to social media, reach out to our offices today. We can connect you with one of the many trained therapists in our directory that work with these exact issues. Support your teen or your own parenting journey with help from a counselor.