Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Personal Goals You Can Set and Accomplish for Yourself

, 2026-05-07T13:58:40+00:00May 7th, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Being able to set goals and get things done helps you achieve the things you want in life. Life can be a long and meandering journey, and you never know where the winds of opportunity will carry you. It’s possible to go through life without pausing to think about what you’re doing and why. Often, however, that results in being dictated to by circumstances and the direction of others who are more intentional. Our lives can unfold in surprising ways, and sometimes we find ourselves in places and circumstances we never dreamed of. Being able to set goals isn’t a substitute for having dreams and being spontaneous. However, it is a way of being more intentional about the resources and opportunities you have. It can help you accomplish a future you desire for yourself. You might be the sort of person who knew what you wanted to be when you were a kid and planned every step of that journey until you accomplished your goal, and that’s generally how you live your life. Or you might be the sort of person who takes things as they come, holding plans loosely. Either way, being able to have and set goals can have its benefits. The Importance of Setting Goals We don’t all approach life in the same way. Some people have a clear path and ideas about what they want to accomplish in life, while others take things as they come, meeting each situation, and then figuring out the next steps. Each approach has its merits, and one can learn from how other people do things. Nonetheless, there are benefits from taking some time to think about what your goals are. When you set goals, it’s one of the ways of setting yourself up for success. The process of setting goals [...]

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The Enneagram and Bipolar Personality Disorder

, 2026-04-28T14:58:39+00:00April 28th, 2026|Bipolar Disorder, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

When an individual deals with personality and mental health struggles, it can feel overwhelming. Those who experience the extreme mood changes of bipolar personality disorder often find it helpful to understand basic personality patterns to see how bipolar personality disorder may express itself in different personality types. One tool that helps us understand personality types is the Enneagram. It is a system that helps explain nine personality types and shows what motivates the individuals of those types. Knowing your personality type can help you be mindful of vulnerabilities and also use your strengths. It can be used to help you self-reflect and grow. Some individuals get confused about what their natural personality is and what a mental health issue is. Understanding the differences is key to getting the right treatment and feeling better in the long term. Knowing who they are naturally and how mental health affects them plays an important role in healing and getting better. God desires for us to be whole and healthy, no matter what we face. The Enneagram and Bipolar Personality Disorder Bipolar personality disorder causes individuals to have heightened mood swings, depending on energy levels. They experience mania during high-energy times and depression during low-energy times. These mood swings can cause chaos in relationships and daily life. Many individuals are affected by bipolar personality disorders. The symptoms are unique for each person. Knowing your Enneagram number might help in understanding how your personality types may cope with or specifically exhibit bipolar symptoms. For each Enneagram type, there are specific fears and wants that can combine with bipolar symptoms in different ways. Here are some examples: A type four’s biggest fear is being ordinary. This fear could worsen during sad times. A type eight’s need to be in control could show up differently during [...]

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Bullying Prevention in Today’s Hi-Tech Schools

, 2026-04-22T14:23:00+00:00April 22nd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Bullying can take many forms, especially in today’s schools with access to in-person and online classes, social media, and AI apps. Bullying prevention is necessary to protect the younger generation’s mental, emotional, and physical health. The long-term effects of bullying can be damaging, sabotaging relationships, opportunities, and jobs. Once you are knowledgeable of those effects, you can push for bullying prevention and school reform to address the impact bullying has on students. Although many school districts state they have a zero policy for bullying, many parents find that their children are bullied year after year. Why Bullying is Detrimental to Children’s Health Bullying affects children’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Coming to school afraid of what someone may say or do to them can cause psychological trauma with lasting effects on self-esteem. Bullying can be physical abuse if the bully hurts them. With advances in technology, more AI usage is becoming normalized, and with social media platforms, cyberbullying has grown in its prevalence. A child bullied online can feel as if the whole world is against them. Bullies can now say things online or create images using AI that are false, but appear believable. The earlier we introduce bullying prevention in schools and educate our children about the dangers, the better prepared they will be to confront bullies. Strategies for Bullying Prevention Bullying prevention is crucial in educating and raising awareness within communities and schools. Studies have shown that suicide is the third leading cause of death in children and young adults, aged 10 to 24. Although it is unclear how many of these deaths could be the result of suicide, bullying increases the risk of suicidal ideation. It’s time that we take control of the bullying epidemic. Cyberbullying changed the game. Now, children bully others without ever leaving [...]

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Coping with Grief: Grieving Loss and Finding Your Way

, 2026-04-10T05:47:05+00:00April 10th, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grief is a painful reality we all must reckon with. It’s not an easy thing to lose what matters most to you, especially the people in your life, and it’s understandable why many struggle to cope well with grief. Coping with grief doesn’t mean denying the loss or even minimizing it or explaining it away. Coping is about learning to live with the loss, being able to carry on while bearing the wounds of separation from a loved one. Grief touches every aspect of who we are, and that includes our emotions, thoughts, bodies, and our spiritual lives. Grieving is the natural process of coming to terms with loss, and it is not a sign of weak faith. Jesus wept (John 11:35) at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, a testimony to how much He loved His friend. The sorrow of loss is all too real, but our ultimate hope is in Christ, even in our grief. Grief as Love with Nowhere to Go How do you begin to deal with grief and the sense of loss? For some, the only way they can see to deal with it is to see grief as a problem to be solved. In this way of thinking, the loss is something to get over as quickly as possible and return to doing life much the same as before. This can be a way of denying the loss, and it can have negative effects on one’s well-being. Another way to look at grief is to see it as a way of working through the significant change that has occurred in your relationship with your loved one. Instead of being a problem to solve, grief then becomes a way of working through the loss by evolving the relationship. Your connection to a lost loved [...]

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What to Do When You Have an Anxiety Attack at Night

, 2026-03-27T06:53:05+00:00March 27th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Having an anxiety attack, especially at night when you’re trying to sleep, can be frustrating, scary, and hard to manage. But there’s always hope, ways to work through it, and get the help you need. Keep reading below to learn a few. The Paradox of Acceptance This might sound strange, but the first step when having an anxiety attack is to accept that you’re having an anxiety attack. I know it’s easy and tempting to want to resist the experience or try to convince yourself you’re feeling “fine” when you’re not. Doing so can lead to prolonging the experience and/or even making it worse. Many try to force themselves to go back to sleep, which usually leads to tossing and turning and even more frustration. This can prolong the negative experience by spending so much time and energy trying not to feel what we’re already feeling, forcing our eyes to stay shut while the minutes and hours pass by, feeling the same or even worse. Also, many who are suffering from anxiety will use external sources such as media, food, or even addictive and destructive processes, attempting to numb or get rid of the feelings. It might initially feel like it’s working, yet sooner or later, those feelings will return with greater force. Also, it can produce guilt or even shame over how we responded to those uncomfortable emotions. This is why when you accept how you feel, you’ll be more able to take action, making things better as opposed to worse. Writing It out As a Way of Working It Out Anxiety can feel overwhelming with increased heart rate, shortness of breath, tension in the body, and a mind racing so fast we can’t even keep up. When we can give all that excitement a task, it can [...]

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What is an Anxiety Attack, and What Should I Do if I Have One?

, 2026-04-29T07:09:01+00:00March 26th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

What is anxiety? It is a feeling of nervousness, anticipation with uncertainty, or fear. Anxiety often creates a physical response. Common physical symptoms are sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, muscle tension, shakiness, increased heart rate, and sometimes increased breathing rate. The word anxiety comes from the Latin angere, meaning to choke or squeeze. Strangely, this is exactly what can happen in our brains when we feel under threat or danger, whether it is real or imagined. When we are relaxed and calm, more blood goes to the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for functions like self-control and decision-making. However, during an anxiety attack, blood flow is reduced to the prefrontal cortex and increased to the amygdala, resulting in our emotional response being disproportionate to the stimulus. The amygdala is responsible for the detection and response to threats. Fear triggers a distress signal to the hypothalamus, and then adrenocorticotropic hormones are sent to the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and cortisol. This stress response allows for energy to be converted quickly because anxiety often leads to a fight or flight response. However, often there is no need to fight or flee, and we are overwhelmed with anxiety when this energy is just held in the body. Our body is “hijacked,” and physical symptoms occur. Anxiety attacks can be triggered by reminders of past trauma, or they can occur for no apparent reason. The Bible offers comfort and guidance for anxiety as God knew that it is something we would struggle with. Several scriptures specifically address anxiety. I Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all of our anxieties on Jesus because he cares for us. Philippians 4: 6-7 reminds us not to be anxious about anything, but in everything be in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let our requests be [...]

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Mindfulness Breathing Exercises to Reduce Stress

, 2026-03-25T06:19:18+00:00March 25th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Stress is part of our daily life and negatively impacts our physical and mental health. Mindfulness breathing is a technique that everyone can learn that reduces the impact of stress. There are many different breathing techniques. "Breathe Deep", Courtesy of Darius Bashar, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; How does mindful breathing help reduce the impact of stress? Breathing is an automatic function that seems simple, and we don’t even have to think about it. However, learning specific breathing exercises, thinking about and managing breathing further expands the benefit of breathing from just keeping us alive to improving our mental and physical health. Mindful breathing can increase the oxygen levels in our brain, lower our blood pressure, improve overall circulation, and calm our nervous system. Our breathing is such a powerful tool for battling stress and anxiety because it connects us to the presence of God. In the Bible, the Greek word “pneuma” is used to signify God’s life-giving power, humanity's mortality, and the Holy Spirit. In Genesis 2:7, it is noted that God formed man and breathed into him the breath of life, and man became a living being. In Job 32:8, it notes there is a spirit in people, the breath of the Almighty within them, that makes them intelligent. Isaiah 42:5 notes that God gives breath to everyone on earth. There are many different breathing exercises, and all are effective, so it’s important to find the one that works best for you or find several in order to keep the variety available for you. Basic Mindful Breathing Get comfortable by sitting or standing and loosening tight clothes. Remove distractions. Turn off the TV and your phone. Close your eyes. Start by just noticing your breath, don’t force it, just be aware of the air coming in and going out [...]

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Child Behavioral Therapist: Frequently Asked Questions

, 2026-03-18T06:14:19+00:00March 18th, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Child behavioral therapists are trained mental health professionals who specialize in helping children deal with emotional and behavioral challenges to learn how to function more effectively. Their overall goal is to strengthen desired behaviors, reduce or eliminate unwanted ones, and improve the child’s overall well-being. They help equip the child with adaptive coping skills that enable them to handle frustration and difficult situations in a healthy manner. How can I tell if my child is going through a phase or needs professional help? It can sometimes be hard to know if your child’s behavior requires professional intervention or if it is just a phase he or she is going through. Almost all young children act out occasionally. Some level of defiance, temper tantrums, and testing of boundaries is a normal part of child development. This is especially true during the toddlerhood stage when children are going through the process of learning to express themselves, gain independence, and assert their wills. More persistent or severe issues, however, such as trouble making or keeping friends, or causing frequent disruptions at school, may require the know-how of a professional. Some red flags that require immediate attention and should not be ignored include sudden, dramatic mood or personality changes; destructive behavior such as breaking things or setting fires; uncontrollable anger over seemingly trivial issues; physical aggression toward others; mistreating animals; self-harm; or acting in ways that are inappropriate for their age. What can a child behavioral therapist do to help? A child behavioral therapist can help improve your child’s unwanted behaviors by: Pinpointing what triggers them and why. Helping him or her identify and modify negative thought patterns. Equipping him or her with the necessary skills to handle frustrating circumstances appropriately. Teaching him or her to manage his or her emotions in healthy [...]

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Avoidance Anxiety in Children: When a Child’s Resistance Isn’t Just a Phase

, 2026-03-17T06:10:19+00:00March 17th, 2026|Anxiety, Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you are the parent of a young child, you’ve probably seen resistance before. Perhaps they’ve started to become reluctant to go to school. With some questions, you learn that it’s not only school that makes them upset. There are changes in the things they enjoy, or you notice things you thought they’d outgrow. Maybe your child refuses to go to a birthday party, has a meltdown before swimming lessons, or suddenly forgets how to do a simple chore they’ve done a hundred times. Your nighttime routine that was working so well isn’t anymore. It is becoming harder and harder for your child to do anything without you by their side. At first, you may brush this off as a bad mood, tantrums, or stubbornness. But if it happens more than a few times, it could be something more. Sometimes, when a child says no to things or avoids something repeatedly, it may be more than them just being stubborn. It could be avoidance anxiety, a type of anxiety when a child feels nervous or unsure about something and tries to stay away from it altogether. Avoiding something might help them feel better in the moment, but it usually makes their worry grow stronger later. This kind of anxiety is harder for parents to understand because it may or may not involve tears or big outbursts. The child simply seems defiant, needy, or unmotivated. Still, it is always worth paying attention to, because the earlier you notice it, the easier it is to help. What is avoidance anxiety in children, and why does it happen? Avoidance anxiety is a way children try to protect themselves. When something feels too scary, confusing or hard, they look for ways to escape and avoid. That could mean pretending to be sick, refusing [...]

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ADHD and Trauma: How They’re Related and Where to Find Support

, 2026-03-04T07:46:54+00:00March 4th, 2026|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can pose some serious challenges. Dealing with trauma and living in its aftermath can also be life-altering. But combining the two -- ADHD and trauma -- can make life even harder. The Intersection of ADHD and Trauma Trauma is inevitable. Relationships shatter, employment ends, and accidents happen. No one is immune to shifting and evolution in their lives. And while these big traumas can impede life for non-neurodivergent people, they can be devastating for those with ADHD. But why does trauma hit so hard for those who have it? ADHD affects the prefrontal cortex, which is the parts of the brain that help with focus, planning, and decision making. ADHD also affects dopamine regulation, which is a chemical messenger in the brain that controls motivation, reward, and emotional responses, making it harder to stay engaged in tasks or maintain consistent focus. Trauma, on the other hand, activates the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system. This makes it hard to think clearly and stay calm. When these two collide, your brain gets stuck between panic and chaos. Can’t Concentrate in a Crisis When a crisis hits, like a car accident, you’ve been hit by a hacker, or a pet has gone missing, one of the most effective ways to mitigate the damage is to keep a level head. If you can think clearly, you can quickly react to the situation with reasonable and actionable steps. You can remember the number for emergency services, think about canceling your credit cards, or be thorough in your search. But if you have ADHD, that level head is as elusive as the crisis is stressful. Your ADHD brain cycles when you’re in a crisis, more than non-neurodivergent people. The logic that you need to respond to the crisis effectively [...]

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