Kate Motaung, Plano Christian Counseling

What to Do When You Are One of Those Toxic Couples

What to Do When You Are One of Those Toxic Couples

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-06-17T07:43:03+00:00June 17th, 2026|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You’ve probably seen them on TV. Those couples who fight all the time, complain about each other in their social circles, or who seem to have this weird co-dependency where they aren’t happy when they’re together, but they also can’t stay away from each other. Maybe the toxic couple that came to mind when you read the title of this article is you and your partner. Toxic couples display a recurring pattern of emotionally damaging behaviors. They disrespect each other, fight for control, offer constant criticism, or simply position themselves to manipulate each other and those around them. While these kinds of relationships may get a laugh out of a television audience, when they play out in real homes and lives, they can erode self-esteem and the well-being of both individuals and those caught in their crossfire. We aren’t one of “those” toxic couples, are we? The gossip mill is full of juicy stories about the “Smiths” and the loud fight they had last night. The one that the neighbors heard and even caught a glimpse of from their video doorbell. And then of course, there’s the “Johnsons,” who are notorious for their aggressive and even passive-aggressive social media arguments. And then there’s the “Joneses,” who are never seen in public together, but take every opportunity they can to tear each other down when they have an audience. It’s easy to see these faults in the neighbors, your sister-in-law, and the family from church. But it’s a little more challenging to see characteristics when they’re in you. Even Jesus weighs in on this truth: “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5 (NIV). “Whoa! Are you talking to me?” you [...]

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Stress Eating: What It Is and How to Combat It

Stress Eating: What It Is and How to Combat It

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-06-17T07:21:33+00:00June 17th, 2026|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Stress eating, also known as emotional eating, is using food to help you cope with difficult emotions, manage stress, or fill a void within you that you don’t know how to fill. It is eating to fill your emotional needs rather than satisfy physical hunger and nourish your body. Stress eating can lead you to overeat and/or binge on high-calorie, sweet, and fatty foods that are detrimental to your health and sabotage weight-loss efforts if you are trying to lose. Key Difference Between Physical and Emotional Hunger Biological need versus emotional discomfort Physical hunger is a natural, biological response to the body’s need for nutrients and fuel to enable it to keep going. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, is triggered by how you feel rather than by your body’s physical needs and is an attempt to use food to cope with emotional issues, manage stress, soothe, comfort, relax, or numb. Physical sensations versus emotional triggers Physical hunger is an involuntary sensation triggered by a low energy state and the secretion of hunger hormones. Your brain uses physical signs such as a growling stomach, headache, difficulty concentrating, shakiness, lightheadedness, and/or weakness to communicate your body’s need for food. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, is triggered by emotional cues such as stress, sadness, boredom, loneliness, frustration, or even happiness. Gradual versus sudden Physical hunger tends to come on gradually and increase as your body continues to go without food. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, presents as an intense desire to eat something immediately, even if you have already eaten and are no longer physically hungry. Can wait, if necessary, versus immediate gratification With physical hunger, you can ignore the initial signs if you are busy with other things. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, demands instant gratification. Open [...]

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Understanding Enneagram Personality Types and Why You Should Know Yours

Understanding Enneagram Personality Types and Why You Should Know Yours

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2026-06-16T06:27:51+00:00June 16th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Enneagram personality types are part of a model of human personality typing designed to help people understand their own behaviors and motivations. It also helps them understand those of others. It addresses underlying motivations and core fears that drive behaviors. This model consists of nine interconnected personality types, each represented by a number from 1-9. Each type has its own set of core traits, motivations, fears, and desires that determine and influence how a person perceives the world, interacts with others, and develops personal growth. These types are often grouped by three centers of origin: Types 8, 9, and 1: Gut-Centered (Instincts) Types 2, 3, and 4: Heart-Centered (Feelings) Types 5, 6, and 7: Head-Centered (Thinking) What is the history of the Enneagram? The history of this Enneagram concept is quite fascinating and spans several centuries, blending ancient wisdom with modern psychological insights. Early 1900s One of the earliest uses of the Enneagram symbol in the modern world was by the famed Russian mystic George Gurdjieff, who introduced the symbols but did not associate them with personality types. 1960s A Bolivian psycho-spiritual teacher, Oscar Ichazo, primarily developed the contemporary Enneagram of Personality concept. He integrated various spiritual and psychological concepts into the Enneagram system. 1970s A Chilean psychiatrist, Claudio Naranjo, further developed Ichazo’s work, linking the Enneagram to modern psychology and identifying the nine personality types. Popularization 1970-90s The enneagram personality type gained wider recognition through the work of authors and teachers like Helen Palmer, Don Riso, and Russ Hudson, who wrote extensively on the subject and developed various teaching methods. Contemporary Use 2000s Nowadays, the Enneagram is used in various contexts, including personal growth, spirituality, and even business management. It helps individuals understand their core motivations, fears, and behaviors. The Enneagram continues to evolve as more people explore [...]

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What Does OCD Mean? A Christian Counselor Defines and Simplifies

What Does OCD Mean? A Christian Counselor Defines and Simplifies

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2026-06-12T05:35:45+00:00June 12th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

The term OCD is often used to describe someone who is extreme in areas such as cleaning or organization, or is detail-oriented and particular. It is sometimes seen as a joke, however obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is misunderstood. What does OCD mean? Obsessive-compulsive disorder is not simply being neat, organized, or overly meticulous. It is a serious mental health condition that significantly impacts a person’s life by interfering with daily activities or healthy thought processes. There are two aspects of obsessive-compulsive disorder: the first is obsessive thinking, and the second is compulsive behaviors. Obsessive thinking is an unhealthy thought process in which a person’s thoughts get stuck on a certain idea, and they are unable to redirect their thoughts. These thoughts are often intrusive and overwhelming. The compulsive part of OCD describes the behaviors that a person feels driven to do, often without logical reasons; however, the desire to do these behaviors is hard to avoid and dismiss. In mental health, for something to be considered a disorder, it must interfere with a person’s life, including relationships. ability to work, take proper care of themselves, or others. Obsessive thinking is characterized by unwanted intrusive thoughts, and the person has extreme difficulty not focusing on these thoughts, and the compulsive behaviors are often driven by the obsessive thinking. Compulsive behaviors are often repetitive behaviors and may be illogical and unproductive. Having obsessive-compulsive disorder not only interferes with a person’s day-to-day life, but it can also impact a person’s self-esteem, as they may feel that they have a character weakness that prevents them from being able to overcome obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. However, when in fact the condition is a mental disorder and not a character flaw or a personality weakness. A person with OCD often realizes that their thoughts and [...]

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What Happens During Play Therapy and Why It’s Effective

What Happens During Play Therapy and Why It’s Effective

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-06-10T06:12:11+00:00June 10th, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured|

Although children have limited emotional intelligence and communication skills, that doesn’t mean that they cannot benefit from counseling and therapy. So many of the experiences we have in young childhood go on to shape and affect us later in life. Children might not have a concept of things like trauma and abuse, but they can still express themselves when guided by a counselor. Counselors use a form of therapy known as play therapy to help clients as young as three. By tapping into their creativity and natural tendencies to be tactile, counselors can glean a lot of information from their young clients and help them feel safe and understood. The Challenges of Child Counseling Children present unique challenges because, unlike adults, no child can comfortably sit and talk for a 45-minute counseling session. Besides that, children usually won’t understand why they are meeting with a strange adult or what is expected of them. To clients younger than seven, a counselor is sort of like a mix between a doctor and a teacher, but it can be hard to understand why it’s necessary to meet with them. However, a counselor can feel like a friend to a child. Child counselors make sessions fun and stimulating while still being able to gather information where they can. They want their young clients to feel safe enough to let their guards down, and to know that they are being helped. This is where play therapy comes in. Kids might not be able to describe what they are feeling, but they provide plenty of nonverbal cues and insight, even when they are playing or drawing. What Happens During Play Therapy Play therapy is especially effective for children aged between three and seven years old. After that, they tend to have a broader understanding of [...]

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Should Christians Trust Eye Movement Therapy and Other Modern Healing Methods?

Should Christians Trust Eye Movement Therapy and Other Modern Healing Methods?

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-06-06T05:25:28+00:00June 8th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

For many Christians, emotional healing is deeply personal. It’s shaped by prayer, scripture, community, and a desire to honor God in every part of life, including mental health. When new types of therapy come along, especially ones that seem unfamiliar or different from what we’re used to, it makes sense to have some questions. Is this something I should try? Is it safe? And more importantly, does this line up with my faith? One approach more people are hearing about these days is eye movement therapy, also called EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s used to help people work through trauma, anxiety, and other emotional pain. If you’re a Christian who’s never heard of it before, or if you’ve been warned against anything that sounds non-traditional, you may feel unsure. This article is here to help you look at what eye movement therapy really is, what it’s not, and how Christians can approach new healing methods while still keeping God at the center. What is eye movement therapy? Eye movement therapy isn’t a spiritual trick or mystical practice. It’s a structured form of therapy developed in the late 1980s by a psychologist named Francine Shapiro. The basic idea is that when someone goes through something painful, the brain doesn’t always process the experience in a healthy way. This therapy technique uses simple things like guided eye movements or light tapping to help the brain reprocess those memories. During a session, a trained therapist will guide someone as they recall a difficult memory. At the same time, the therapist will use these movements or sounds to help keep the brain focused and calm. Over time, the memory usually feels less intense, and the person begins to feel more at peace. There’s no hypnosis. No spiritual rituals. No manipulation [...]

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5 Tips for Anxiety in Teens

5 Tips for Anxiety in Teens

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2026-06-04T07:04:54+00:00June 4th, 2026|Anxiety, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anxiety can be a difficult battle for many teens, but it seems to plague girls a little more frequently than boys. Still, the symptoms of generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and social anxiety can severely impact a teenager’s life regardless of gender. Here are five tips to help the teen in your life cope. Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Teens Studies show an increased experience of GAD in girls than in boys, specifically as they reach high school age and into college. This may be due to a variety of factors, but treatments for Generalized Anxiety Disorder are the same for both genders. The Mayo Clinic characterizes generalized anxiety disorder as “excessive, ongoing anxiety and worry that are difficult to control and interfere with day-to-day activities.” If you notice in your teen daughter or son a pattern of worry that doesn’t decrease after a specific event happens, it may be time to explore counseling. Counseling is one of the best treatment options for all types of anxiety, whether female or male, teen or adult. The SCARED assessment can help a teen self-evaluate his or her frequency and type of anxiety. It can be comforting to name and discuss the anxiety triggers with a trusted adult. But, used in the care of a trained counselor, this assessment can help pinpoint if Generalized Anxiety Disorder is something your teen daughter or son is dealing with. Whether you have a daughter or a son, pay attention to their signals. If they exhibit these symptoms regularly, you may consider seeing a counselor to talk through Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a possibility. Your son or daughter is frequently negative about situations, picking apart possible pitfalls, dangers, things that can go wrong, and taking a long time to make a decision about something that seems simple [...]

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What Does it Mean to Be Codependent? A Christian Counselor Explains

What Does it Mean to Be Codependent? A Christian Counselor Explains

D. Nicole Ready, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T12:46:39+00:00May 22nd, 2026|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Who are you? How do you define yourself? Are you introspective, extroverted, self-aware, or a learner? Or do you tend to define yourself based on what you are to other people? We indeed live in tandem with other people. We play important roles in others' lives, such as mother, father, sibling, best friend, teacher, boss, etc. There is nothing wrong with having these roles and excelling at them; however, if you have come to a place where you are not able to see yourself apart from a particular relationship, you may be in danger of crossing the line from healthy relationship into codependence. What is codependency? Think for a moment about the movie The Devil Wears Prada. If you are not familiar with this movie, it is about a young journalist named Andy who lives in New York City and has landed a job at Runway magazine, the top fashion magazine in the world. Andy is not at all interested in fashion, but working for the editor and chief of Runway, Miranda, will allow you to get your foot in the door with about any other publication company in the city. So, for Andy, this is the career opportunity of a lifetime. As she begins her job, Andy stands out for all the wrong reasons and clearly does not fit in. And working for Miranda is the kind of job where you must be all in. So, you see Andy adapt and change through a fashion makeover, becoming committed 24 hours a day to Miranda, attending Paris week, betraying a coworker, and failing at every other relationship in her life. In the second half of the movie, you see Andy’s personal life fall apart. At one time, her boyfriend lets his frustrations toward the commitment that she has to [...]

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Physical Indicators of Anxiety and Holisitic Treatment to Alleviate Symptoms

Physical Indicators of Anxiety and Holisitic Treatment to Alleviate Symptoms

Jeanetta Henderson, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T12:51:14+00:00May 20th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

One of the most common concerns addressed in therapy is that of “anxiety.” Most of us do not have to get far into our daily routine without having to manage anxious emotional events. For instance, let’s follow a working mother through her morning with a first grader. Get the child up and dressed; make breakfast and pack the lunch; get in the car without forgetting something; drive to school and get through the carpool lane; back out in traffic and drive to work. Any one of those details could produce anxiety, small or great, but a working parent begins the day like this regularly. Merriam-Webster defines anxiety as “apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness usually over an impending or anticipated misfortune.” That definition implies unusual or out-of-the-ordinary events, but honestly, we are living in an era that I would label “anxiety-producing.” Social Concerns for Youth Stories abound of children leaving private schools due to social isolation or being bullied because of exclusive friend groups, or of unruly students who are disruptive and make it almost impossible for a teacher to maintain classroom management, all while dealing with parents who are not seeing to their children completing and turning in homework assignments, but expecting teachers to discipline and educate their children. Another disturbing trend, especially in middle and high schools, is the continued rise of cyberbullying among high school students for a wide variety of reasons. What can a parent do to help their child? Have a home environment where your child is allowed to express their frustrations without judgment. This includes not being concerned about the words they use but what they are really communicating. Children do well when they are able to tell their parents anything that is going on in their lives. One suggestion is to have a time [...]

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4 Signs of Infidelity: How to Detect Them and What Can Be Done

4 Signs of Infidelity: How to Detect Them and What Can Be Done

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T13:00:04+00:00May 20th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Do you feel like you and your spouse have drifted apart? Are you wondering if your spouse is interested in someone else? No matter how long we are married, infidelity is shocking and extremely painful. Knowing the signs of infidelity and understanding how to respond can help you overcome the hurt and restore your marriage. Please note that just because any or all these things might occur, it does not necessarily prove your spouse has been or is being unfaithful. They could just be a warning sign that there is a crack in the foundation of the marriage that needs to be addressed. It’s important to deal with any concerns in an open, loving, and honest manner as soon as possible. Behavioral Changes The first signs of infidelity you might notice are behavioral changes. There may be red flags, such as sudden secrecy with the phone, e-mail, or social media, changing passwords, always keeping the phone face down, or going to the other room to talk on the phone. A new e-mail address or suddenly using a text app or other communication app could indicate your spouse is trying to keep secrets. Other indicators could be changes in routine, such as staying at work late or going on unexplained trips, having new friends who they are not willing to introduce you to, getting involved with a new hobby or activity outside the home, but not including you. Your spouse may start dressing better or paying more attention to appearance, such as working out more, getting a new hairstyle, or purchasing new underwear. They may no longer want to participate in activities that the two of you used to do together. Digital and logistical clues may include things like deleting messages or browsing history, downloading and using new apps, creating [...]

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