Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

OCD Help: When Hoarding Becomes an Issue

, 2026-07-29T05:51:50+00:00July 29th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, OCD, Women’s Issues|

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) manifests in various ways, from commonly known rituals of excessive hand washing or repeatedly checking locks to more subtle, less recognized behaviors. One common symptom of OCD that is often overlooked is hoarding. Hoarding can be a significant and debilitating symptom of the disorder. People with hoarding tendencies experience intense anxiety and distress at the thought of discarding items, leading to the accumulation of possessions, often in a way that disrupts daily life. Hoarding as a symptom of OCD differs from compulsive hoarding disorder, which is a separate condition. In OCD-related hoarding, the behavior is usually linked to obsessions, such as fears of losing important information or items that might be needed in the future. This compulsion to hoard is an attempt to alleviate the distress caused by these obsessions. Despite the seriousness, hoarding related to OCD is not as widely recognized or discussed as other symptoms of this disorder. This can lead to delayed diagnosis and treatment, which can make the behavior more challenging to manage over time. Recognizing your hoarding tendencies before it becomes extreme can help protect your household from accumulating excessive items. Living with hoarding can be challenging, but there are some strategies that can help. Below are a few ways to begin managing hoarding. Managing Hoarding Starting small can make the overwhelming task of decluttering more manageable. If you see your possessions accumulating or notice a tendency to hold on to items unnecessarily, or if you have already accumulated an overwhelming amount of clutter, it’s not too late to act. Find a non-hoarding hero Consider finding someone you trust who doesn’t have hoarding tendencies to help you decide what to keep and what to throw away. Ask the right questions Ask yourself three key questions: Do I want to keep it? Do [...]

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Getting to the Root of Anger Problems

, 2026-07-23T05:44:06+00:00July 23rd, 2026|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

If you have ever lost your temper to the point of getting physical, raising your voice, or saying things that you later regret, you are in the majority. Everyone gets angry on occasion, and often an angry response is warranted, logical, or at least understandable. However, if your default response is anger, there might be something else going on. If it doesn’t take much for you to fly off the handle and say or do things you regret, anger could be a problem area. If you look back on your behavior with embarrassment and shame, you might have anger problems. This might be a sensitive topic for you, but it can be resolved in time. The Anger Iceberg While anger is often destructive and harmful, sometimes it can be helpful. As Jesus once told His disciples, “‘…For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.’” (Luke 6:45, NIV) In other words, the way we act, the things we say, and our emotional responses show what is going on inside of us in the deep, hidden parts of us. We show how we are feeling with words or actions, even when it is unintentional. Sometimes our emotions are so close to the surface that others see them long before we say or do anything. Anger is an incredibly complex emotion, and it’s not always easy to see what it is connected to. For example, it’s understandable to get annoyed when someone cuts you off in traffic. It’s a selfish thing to do, it’s potentially dangerous, and it blocks your progress. You might curse quietly or demonstrate your frustration to the other driver with gestures and facial expressions. However, if you have anger problems, something as simple and common as being cut off in traffic might spark an inferno of [...]

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Progressive Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children

, 2026-07-22T06:57:06+00:00July 22nd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Across America, a shift is underway that most parents do not anticipate. They’re working hard to keep their children happy and genuinely believe that they are doing their best. Still, behavioral problems, including defiance at home, struggles in school, and difficulty respecting authority, surface. The parents find themselves confused and exhausted, wondering how their best intentions led to these challenging outcomes. We often find the answer in the parenting philosophy that has shaped American culture for over 50 years. Progressive parenting has emphasized freedom and emotional expression while minimizing structure and boundaries. The result is an environment where children lack the framework they need to develop self-control and emotional regulation. The absence of this intentional training leads to children facing a world without the internal compass needed to make wise choices. Many families face a challenge centered on a message that has defined good parenting as prioritizing a child’s emotional expression at the expense of necessary boundaries. Biblical wisdom serves us well in these situations: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV The Progressive Parenting Movement and Its Promises The psychological mainstream started in the 1960s and made a dramatic claim that reshaped parenting for generations. This claim from mental health professionals emphasizes that parents who don’t allow children to express their feelings freely create an avenue for mental health problems for their children. Society began to define it as understanding and appropriately responding to all emotional expressions. This suggested a promise that children raised with maximum freedom and minimal boundaries would grow into confident, emotionally healthy adults with strong self-esteem. This approach led parents to believe that structure and discipline could damage their children’s psyches, and that unlimited emotional support [...]

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What to Do When You Are One of Those Toxic Couples

, 2026-06-17T07:43:03+00:00June 17th, 2026|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You’ve probably seen them on TV. Those couples who fight all the time, complain about each other in their social circles, or who seem to have this weird co-dependency where they aren’t happy when they’re together, but they also can’t stay away from each other. Maybe the toxic couple that came to mind when you read the title of this article is you and your partner. Toxic couples display a recurring pattern of emotionally damaging behaviors. They disrespect each other, fight for control, offer constant criticism, or simply position themselves to manipulate each other and those around them. While these kinds of relationships may get a laugh out of a television audience, when they play out in real homes and lives, they can erode self-esteem and the well-being of both individuals and those caught in their crossfire. We aren’t one of “those” toxic couples, are we? The gossip mill is full of juicy stories about the “Smiths” and the loud fight they had last night. The one that the neighbors heard and even caught a glimpse of from their video doorbell. And then of course, there’s the “Johnsons,” who are notorious for their aggressive and even passive-aggressive social media arguments. And then there’s the “Joneses,” who are never seen in public together, but take every opportunity they can to tear each other down when they have an audience. It’s easy to see these faults in the neighbors, your sister-in-law, and the family from church. But it’s a little more challenging to see characteristics when they’re in you. Even Jesus weighs in on this truth: “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5 (NIV). “Whoa! Are you talking to me?” you [...]

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Stress Eating: What It Is and How to Combat It

, 2026-06-17T07:21:33+00:00June 17th, 2026|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Stress eating, also known as emotional eating, is using food to help you cope with difficult emotions, manage stress, or fill a void within you that you don’t know how to fill. It is eating to fill your emotional needs rather than satisfy physical hunger and nourish your body. Stress eating can lead you to overeat and/or binge on high-calorie, sweet, and fatty foods that are detrimental to your health and sabotage weight-loss efforts if you are trying to lose. Key Difference Between Physical and Emotional Hunger Biological need versus emotional discomfort Physical hunger is a natural, biological response to the body’s need for nutrients and fuel to enable it to keep going. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, is triggered by how you feel rather than by your body’s physical needs and is an attempt to use food to cope with emotional issues, manage stress, soothe, comfort, relax, or numb. Physical sensations versus emotional triggers Physical hunger is an involuntary sensation triggered by a low energy state and the secretion of hunger hormones. Your brain uses physical signs such as a growling stomach, headache, difficulty concentrating, shakiness, lightheadedness, and/or weakness to communicate your body’s need for food. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, is triggered by emotional cues such as stress, sadness, boredom, loneliness, frustration, or even happiness. Gradual versus sudden Physical hunger tends to come on gradually and increase as your body continues to go without food. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, presents as an intense desire to eat something immediately, even if you have already eaten and are no longer physically hungry. Can wait, if necessary, versus immediate gratification With physical hunger, you can ignore the initial signs if you are busy with other things. Emotional hunger, on the other hand, demands instant gratification. Open [...]

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Understanding Enneagram Personality Types and Why You Should Know Yours

, 2026-06-26T10:33:17+00:00June 16th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Enneagram personality types are part of a model of human personality typing designed to help people understand their own behaviors and motivations. It also helps them understand those of others. It addresses underlying motivations and core fears that drive behaviors. This model consists of nine interconnected personality types, each represented by a number from 1-9. Each type has its own set of core traits, motivations, fears, and desires that determine and influence how a person perceives the world, interacts with others, and develops personal growth. These types are often grouped by three centers of origin: Types 8, 9, and 1: Gut-Centered (Instincts) Types 2, 3, and 4: Heart-Centered (Feelings) Types 5, 6, and 7: Head-Centered (Thinking) What is the history of the Enneagram? The history of this Enneagram concept is quite fascinating and spans several centuries, blending ancient wisdom with modern psychological insights. Early 1900s One of the earliest uses of the Enneagram symbol in the modern world was by the famed Russian mystic George Gurdjieff, who introduced the symbols but did not associate them with personality types. 1960s A Bolivian psycho-spiritual teacher, Oscar Ichazo, primarily developed the contemporary Enneagram of Personality concept. He integrated various spiritual and psychological concepts into the Enneagram system. 1970s A Chilean psychiatrist, Claudio Naranjo, further developed Ichazo’s work, linking the Enneagram to modern psychology and identifying the nine personality types. Popularization 1970-90s The enneagram personality type gained wider recognition through the work of authors and teachers like Helen Palmer, Don Riso, and Russ Hudson, who wrote extensively on the subject and developed various teaching methods. Contemporary Use 2000s Nowadays, the Enneagram is used in various contexts, including personal growth, spirituality, and even business management. It helps individuals understand their core motivations, fears, and behaviors. The Enneagram continues to evolve as more people explore [...]

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What Does OCD Mean? A Christian Counselor Defines and Simplifies

, 2026-06-12T05:35:45+00:00June 12th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

The term OCD is often used to describe someone who is extreme in areas such as cleaning or organization, or is detail-oriented and particular. It is sometimes seen as a joke, however obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is misunderstood. What does OCD mean? Obsessive-compulsive disorder is not simply being neat, organized, or overly meticulous. It is a serious mental health condition that significantly impacts a person’s life by interfering with daily activities or healthy thought processes. There are two aspects of obsessive-compulsive disorder: the first is obsessive thinking, and the second is compulsive behaviors. Obsessive thinking is an unhealthy thought process in which a person’s thoughts get stuck on a certain idea, and they are unable to redirect their thoughts. These thoughts are often intrusive and overwhelming. The compulsive part of OCD describes the behaviors that a person feels driven to do, often without logical reasons; however, the desire to do these behaviors is hard to avoid and dismiss. In mental health, for something to be considered a disorder, it must interfere with a person’s life, including relationships. ability to work, take proper care of themselves, or others. Obsessive thinking is characterized by unwanted intrusive thoughts, and the person has extreme difficulty not focusing on these thoughts, and the compulsive behaviors are often driven by the obsessive thinking. Compulsive behaviors are often repetitive behaviors and may be illogical and unproductive. Having obsessive-compulsive disorder not only interferes with a person’s day-to-day life, but it can also impact a person’s self-esteem, as they may feel that they have a character weakness that prevents them from being able to overcome obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. However, when in fact the condition is a mental disorder and not a character flaw or a personality weakness. A person with OCD often realizes that their thoughts and [...]

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What Happens During Play Therapy and Why It’s Effective

, 2026-06-10T06:12:11+00:00June 10th, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured|

Although children have limited emotional intelligence and communication skills, that doesn’t mean that they cannot benefit from counseling and therapy. So many of the experiences we have in young childhood go on to shape and affect us later in life. Children might not have a concept of things like trauma and abuse, but they can still express themselves when guided by a counselor. Counselors use a form of therapy known as play therapy to help clients as young as three. By tapping into their creativity and natural tendencies to be tactile, counselors can glean a lot of information from their young clients and help them feel safe and understood. The Challenges of Child Counseling Children present unique challenges because, unlike adults, no child can comfortably sit and talk for a 45-minute counseling session. Besides that, children usually won’t understand why they are meeting with a strange adult or what is expected of them. To clients younger than seven, a counselor is sort of like a mix between a doctor and a teacher, but it can be hard to understand why it’s necessary to meet with them. However, a counselor can feel like a friend to a child. Child counselors make sessions fun and stimulating while still being able to gather information where they can. They want their young clients to feel safe enough to let their guards down, and to know that they are being helped. This is where play therapy comes in. Kids might not be able to describe what they are feeling, but they provide plenty of nonverbal cues and insight, even when they are playing or drawing. What Happens During Play Therapy Play therapy is especially effective for children aged between three and seven years old. After that, they tend to have a broader understanding of [...]

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Should Christians Trust Eye Movement Therapy and Other Modern Healing Methods?

, 2026-06-06T05:25:28+00:00June 8th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

For many Christians, emotional healing is deeply personal. It’s shaped by prayer, scripture, community, and a desire to honor God in every part of life, including mental health. When new types of therapy come along, especially ones that seem unfamiliar or different from what we’re used to, it makes sense to have some questions. Is this something I should try? Is it safe? And more importantly, does this line up with my faith? One approach more people are hearing about these days is eye movement therapy, also called EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s used to help people work through trauma, anxiety, and other emotional pain. If you’re a Christian who’s never heard of it before, or if you’ve been warned against anything that sounds non-traditional, you may feel unsure. This article is here to help you look at what eye movement therapy really is, what it’s not, and how Christians can approach new healing methods while still keeping God at the center. What is eye movement therapy? Eye movement therapy isn’t a spiritual trick or mystical practice. It’s a structured form of therapy developed in the late 1980s by a psychologist named Francine Shapiro. The basic idea is that when someone goes through something painful, the brain doesn’t always process the experience in a healthy way. This therapy technique uses simple things like guided eye movements or light tapping to help the brain reprocess those memories. During a session, a trained therapist will guide someone as they recall a difficult memory. At the same time, the therapist will use these movements or sounds to help keep the brain focused and calm. Over time, the memory usually feels less intense, and the person begins to feel more at peace. There’s no hypnosis. No spiritual rituals. No manipulation [...]

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5 Tips for Anxiety in Teens

, 2026-06-04T07:04:54+00:00June 4th, 2026|Anxiety, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anxiety can be a difficult battle for many teens, but it seems to plague girls a little more frequently than boys. Still, the symptoms of generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorders, and social anxiety can severely impact a teenager’s life regardless of gender. Here are five tips to help the teen in your life cope. Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Teens Studies show an increased experience of GAD in girls than in boys, specifically as they reach high school age and into college. This may be due to a variety of factors, but treatments for Generalized Anxiety Disorder are the same for both genders. The Mayo Clinic characterizes generalized anxiety disorder as “excessive, ongoing anxiety and worry that are difficult to control and interfere with day-to-day activities.” If you notice in your teen daughter or son a pattern of worry that doesn’t decrease after a specific event happens, it may be time to explore counseling. Counseling is one of the best treatment options for all types of anxiety, whether female or male, teen or adult. The SCARED assessment can help a teen self-evaluate his or her frequency and type of anxiety. It can be comforting to name and discuss the anxiety triggers with a trusted adult. But, used in the care of a trained counselor, this assessment can help pinpoint if Generalized Anxiety Disorder is something your teen daughter or son is dealing with. Whether you have a daughter or a son, pay attention to their signals. If they exhibit these symptoms regularly, you may consider seeing a counselor to talk through Generalized Anxiety Disorder as a possibility. Your son or daughter is frequently negative about situations, picking apart possible pitfalls, dangers, things that can go wrong, and taking a long time to make a decision about something that seems simple [...]

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