Couples Counseling Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

6 Tips for Long-Distance Dating

6 Tips for Long-Distance Dating

Melissa Plantz2025-10-27T12:45:33+00:00October 29th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend lives far away, is stationed in another state, deployed overseas, or working elsewhere, you can keep the fire alive in your relationship with a few long-distance dating tips. 6 Tips for Long-Distance Dating You can maintain a strong relationship even when you’re separated. It takes effort, considering the other person’s needs and respecting their boundaries. It also takes a level of trust. Long-term, long-distance dating can be more challenging, and you may want to consider seeking help from a counselor. For example, a couple separated by one taking a new job in another state may have an easier time over the next four months before the wedding compared to the couple separated by a year-long deployment overseas. The following is a list of several tips for long-distance dating. Communicate Often Communication lines must stay open and honest. Let your other half know you are thinking of them with calls, video chats, and memes. A little text in the middle of the day, letting them know they’re on your mind, can bring you closer. With today’s technology, seeing each other face-to-face virtually can make the distance seem shorter. Ask Questions When you speak to your significant other, ask questions and actively listen to their responses. Don’t get so caught up in what you want to say that you miss the details. People build trust and confidence with others when they believe that the person is taking a genuine interest in them. Do Something Together Virtually Engage in activities you can share virtually. For example, stream a movie at the same time, cook dinner while video chatting, or play a game online. Think of ways the two of you can share an experience. How about a virtual tour of a historical place? You can discuss what [...]

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Are You in a Codependent Relationship? Signs of Codependency to Look Out for

Are You in a Codependent Relationship? Signs of Codependency to Look Out for

Hannah Parks, Kate Motaung2025-10-21T09:13:48+00:00October 21st, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Picture the scene: two fish swimming in a lake. The one fish turns to the other and asks, “Hey, what’s water?” From the perspective of everyone who’s not those fish, it’s obvious what water is. However, it’s possible to be so immersed in your perspective, experiences, or surroundings that you struggle even to question or notice the things that could seem obvious to others. Our relationships are one area where we might miss the obvious. When you’re accustomed to your relationships operating in a certain way, you may become blind to the ways they are unhealthy. Just like the fish in water that doesn’t even know that it’s in water, you might be in an unhealthy and codependent relationship without being fully aware of the fact. Knowing the signs of codependency can help you identify these patterns and address them. Codependency – What is it? You may have heard the term "codependent" before, and perhaps you puzzled over its meaning. It’s been said that “no person is an island”, and we all depend on each other to one degree. Surely, depending on others, and being aware of that dependence, isn’t a bad thing? True, mutual dependence is a fact of life, and a beautiful one at that. We need community, and our communities need us. We are more fully human when we’re in relationship with others. However, there is a world of difference between mutual dependence, which is the fabric of our society, and codependence. Mutual dependence involves people who are bringing what they have to share with others to meet the needs of others that they can’t fulfil themselves, whether due to capacity or something else. A mechanic and a butcher can depend on each other for things they may not have the time, capacity, or skill to do [...]

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Christian Couples Counseling to Help You Nurture a Healthy Relationship

Christian Couples Counseling to Help You Nurture a Healthy Relationship

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-06-06T07:09:03+00:00June 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Your relationships form one of the most important aspects of your life. The people in your life who matter most are usually the ones who are with you through the various seasons and experiences that have shaped who you are. Sharing life with others helps you to build bonds that enrich your life, and provides emotional support in times of need. These relationships are the stuff of life, and they are vital for your well-being. Healthy relationships will often have the largest impact on your flourishing. Relationships that are nurturing, open, committed, respectful, filled with compassion and kindness, are healthy and stimulate your well-being. However, relationships that are mired in conflict, are unreliable, uncomfortable, or have poor communication, can damage your well-being. All of this is even more true in a romantic relationship. The intimacy and weight that romantic relationships carry mean that when things go wrong, it is often more impactful than in other relationships. There’s a difference, however subtle, between a close friend hurting you, and your spouse hurting you. The closer the relationship, the deeper the hurt that can be inflicted. Couples can learn how to nurture their relationship through couples counseling. Challenges that Couples Face Even the happiest and most well-adjusted couples face challenges of all kinds. Some issues that a couple faces come from outside the relationship, but other issues are the result of the couple’s limitations and unhelpful patterns of behavior and thought. A given couple can face challenges relating to various aspects such as their life stage, issues with communication, or external pressures like financial problems. It may be helpful to detail some of the common issues that couples face. Recognizing that other couples have struggles similar to your own can help remove the sense of isolation and possibly stigma that you [...]

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5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-09-29T12:57:41+00:00May 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are a part of life, but why? If we have learned anything during the pandemic, it has been that although isolation is necessary for particular seasons of our lives, we thrive when we are part of a social circle. This circle can include your spouse, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, or the friendly mail delivery carrier. You choose the people and how much access they have to your life. Knowing the five relationship types and how you can strengthen those bonds can serve you well in every area of life. Why Relationships are Necessary Positive relationships are necessary for the formation of social skills and happiness. Different types of relationships fulfill various needs throughout life and can result in better emotional and mental health. Not feeling alone, even when you are struggling, is crucial to avoiding specific mental condition symptoms such as depression. Relationships, even the hard and toxic ones, help build emotional resilience. Resiliency will help you overcome challenges throughout life and move forward instead of staying “stuck,” reliving hurt, disappointment, or trauma. Relationships provide a support system and other people to share your burdens. When going through something challenging, you want people who love and care about you to help stand in the gap. Relationships allow you to support others and be a blessing when they need it. As relationships form early, those bonds may shape the person you become. But remember, even if your relationships throughout childhood were tumultuous, you have the resources to lead a different life. You can choose to surround yourself with people who can push you to learn more, think differently, and act appropriately. The relationships you choose later in life can either bless you or harm you. Not every relationship needs to be a close, intimate one to benefit you. Building [...]

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Gaslighting in Relationships: Effective Ways to Respond

Gaslighting in Relationships: Effective Ways to Respond

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-09-29T13:02:46+00:00May 21st, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Imagine waking up to a world where your reality feels like a mirage, where the truth is foggy and distorted by someone else’s perceptions. This is the haunting reality of gaslighting. Gaslighting in relationships can leave you feeling disoriented, questioning even your reality, and undermining your self-worth. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person tries to make another person doubt their perception of reality, memories, or feelings. The term originates from the play, “Gas Light,” where the husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her sanity by dimming the gas lights and denying it. Gaslighting in relationships often involves tactics such as denying facts, twisting the truth, blaming the victim, and using emotional manipulation. The goal is to gain control over the victim, leading them to feel confused, anxious, and insecure about their own judgment and perceptions. Powerful Strategies to Combat Gaslighting in Relationships During this emotional turmoil, it’s important to respond in ways that are effective. Here are some powerful strategies to combat gaslighting in relationships. Trust your gut Listen to your gut feelings. If something feels off in your relationship, don’t dismiss those feelings. While the world might tell you that you should trust your instincts, as Christians, we know that at times, that still small voice warning you of potential danger may be the Holy Spirit. Journal your truth Start a personal journal dedicated to your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Document specific incidents where you felt gaslighted, including quotes from the abuser and your reactions. This practice can serve as a concrete reminder of your reality and help you reclaim your narrative. Be sure to store your journal in a secure place, out of the hands of your abuser. Keep evidence If you feel comfortable doing so, gather evidence of [...]

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What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T08:26:49+00:00April 17th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is often rooted in a childhood experience that has created an idea of who you are. For example, “I am worthy if I make this person smile or happy.” Then you develop ways that you have found work to make others happy or smile; for example, jokes, acting silly, getting good grades, not being late, working hard, and being the peacemaker. As we continue life using these ways to manage the uncomfortable feeling of rejection instead of understanding why we have this excessive need to please others, we can become overwhelmed and exhausted. It would seem to be a natural way to find a way to manage an uncomfortable feeling and make the encounter more comfortable. Perhaps you can think of a time when a parent, friend, or spouse became angry or sad and you sensed either their sadness or anger. Plano Christian Counseling can help you better understand emotional responses—your own and others’—and provide faith-based tools for healthy emotional regulation and relationship support. How does codependency work? Some may think they best manage the uncomfortable situation by avoiding the person. Or they may realize the situation becomes more manageable [...]

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How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-09-30T12:50:56+00:00April 10th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you think about relationships, do those thoughts come with warm and welcoming feelings, or are you left feeling on edge? People don’t experience relationships the same way, and how you interact with others and form relationships is influenced by your earliest interactions with others. Depending on what those interactions were like then, you may have trouble forming healthy relationships with people now. How a person relates to others and forms connections is called an attachment style. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one type of attachment style, and it has a significant impact on relationships. Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style A person’s attachment style develops early in life, especially during childhood and early adolescence. Your attachment style can change later in life, but many of your main patterns of relating to others are set early on. Plano Christian Counseling provides faith-based guidance to help individuals understand their attachment styles and build healthier, more secure relationships. We form secure attachments when our parents or caregivers provide consistent and reliable care. A secure attachment means a child feels secure and knows their parents or caregivers will meet their needs. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one of several insecure attachment styles. The anxious-avoidant style is a combination of an anxious and an avoidant attachment style. An anxious style is marked by fear of being abandoned. While desiring closeness, there’s a sensitivity toward rejection. An anxious style is often associated with low self-esteem and the fear of not being wanted around. On the other hand, an avoidant style will often involve being self-reliant and creating emotional distance from others. Being close to others may even feel uncomfortable for a person with an avoidant attachment style, and such individuals often don’t seek support from others. While having people around them, the person with an avoidant style [...]

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Premarital Questions to Ask for Engaged Couples in Plano, Texas

Premarital Questions to Ask for Engaged Couples in Plano, Texas

Melissa Plantz2025-03-22T06:23:27+00:00February 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting married in Plano, Texas? Here are some important premarital questions to consider before you tie the knot. Before you get married, you may assume you know what to expect from the marriage and your spouse. Unfortunately, life rarely works that way. A person’s upbringing, environmental factors, life experiences, and personality can all impact a marriage. You’ll want to be on the same page with your significant other, so it’s important to know what premarital counseling questions to ask. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based premarital counseling to help couples build a strong foundation for a lasting marriage. Premarital Counseling Questions to Ask When you share the same goals, dreams, and expectations with your partner, marriage feels like sharing life with your best friend. However, if you do not know how to overcome obstacles together and share emotions productively, you can end up sharing your home with a stranger. Premarital counseling is critical for opening the line of communication and discussing matters that may have never crossed your mind. These subjects may not be an issue at present, but your future self needs answers. Premarital counseling in Plano, Texas also teaches communication skills, conflict resolution, and how to keep the focus on you as a couple as you move through the different seasons of your lives. Below is a list of premarital counseling questions to get you started. Although you can share this list with your significant other and review the answers together, a counselor at Plano Christian Counseling in Texas can work as a mediator to help you find solutions and teach you skills that will serve you as a couple for years. Premarital counseling questions: Where do you see yourself in the future? Where do you want to live? Where do you want to work? Are you willing [...]

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How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T15:21:21+00:00January 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Seeing a person we love going through a hard time is heart-wrenching. We want to do all we can to love them, to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. It is possible in many situations – especially that of a depressed husband – to begin to feel powerless, especially when our presence does not seem to be making a difference. In this and other situations, remember that your empathetic presence by itself can make a difference, and you must hold onto that when it seems otherwise. If your husband is struggling with depression, you may not know how to be that empathetic presence for him. On the other hand, you may wonder if what you are doing is making a difference. Hopefully, the words below will encourage you in your journey with your depressed husband. Supporting a Loved One with Depression Depression is a common mental health problem that afflicts people from all walks of life, all genders, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. It can afflict those whom we may perceive as strong. It is often shocking for many wives to see their husbands bowed down by depression. As with any other condition or situation, one of the first ways you can function as a meaningful support is to understand what it is your husband is dealing with. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help, offering guidance and faith-based support as you navigate this journey together. Depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions in daily life. Something is going on not only in the person’s body but also in their mind and brain chemistry as well. Often, depression is signaled by feelings of intense sadness which last for weeks and months. It can be tempting to think that your depressed husband just [...]

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Benefits of Premarital Counseling Questions

Benefits of Premarital Counseling Questions

Cyndi Kay Green2025-03-27T09:03:12+00:00August 26th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting married is always a special time in a person’s life. We want to do the right things and take the right steps to cultivate a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Premarital counseling questions can help identify areas of concern that can be addressed before marriage. These questions can also help the couple understand the expectations about marriage. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based premarital counseling to help couples navigate important conversations and build a Christ-centered marriage rooted in love, trust, and commitment. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:6-7, NIV Benefits of premarital counseling questions When a couple engages on a deeper level about their expectations for marriage, they can create a strong bond that will help them navigate the hard times. It can help them identify areas that could cause conflict and be able to address those issues positively and productively. Discussing expectations By discussing expectations in the confines of the marriage, the couple can come to an understanding of their role in creating a stable and healthy household. Healthy conflict resolution Developing skills for conflict management can reduce tension and disagreements in the future. Healthy conflict resolution also includes listening and understanding the other person’s feelings. Healthy communication In any relationship, communication is vital. This includes active, listening, and understanding what is being said, as well as responding in a healthy manner. Discussing hard topics Hard topics like finances, intimacy, and children can be hard to discuss. Identifying the conflicts and reaching resolutions can help the couple agree on future goals. Examine the values in needs Being able to openly discuss rules will reduce tension about certain areas of life. Learning to work through disagreements about responsibilities, beliefs, [...]

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