Personal Development

Chances are that you’ve done this or are doing it right now: scrolling. You’re just checking your feed, right? No big deal. But before long, you begin to feel it. That little ache in your chest, or the pit of your stomach, and the faint whisper in your ear that says that you’re not as attractive or accomplished as those images on the tiny screen. You’re certainly not thin enough after that hearty breakfast. You’re obviously not strong enough because you succumbed to checking out “his” social media again. You must not be attractive enough since all those in your social circle seem to be finding love, and you’re not. Social media often tells you that you’re not enough in some measurable way. Social media is supposed to connect us, hence the inclusion of the word “social” in the name. And sometimes it does exactly what it is supposed to do. It brings joy, celebration, and builds community. But for many, especially women and young people, it also provides a critical mirror that distorts reality. It becomes a filter for lies and a highlight reel that confidently celebrates everyone else’s wins and quietly chips away at your self-esteem. When life is going great, you might enjoy consuming a few images from influencers, fitness gurus, or even peeking into the lives of your most accomplished and polished friends. And there might not be any harm in doing that occasionally. But there are times when social media can become toxic to consume. Somewhere between the endless reels and the perfectly posed selfies, your brain starts comparing. And comparison, as has been said, is the thief of joy, but it is also the thief of identity. You were never meant to find your identity in the confusing halls of the internet or to [...]

A toxic marriage is emotionally and, often, physically draining. The period after the divorce is a time for finding yourself, grieving the lost relationship dream, and healing from the loss and trauma. Tips to Rediscovering Yourself after a Toxic Marriage It is important to your mental health to take it slowly after a toxic marriage. Don’t jump into another relationship right away. Give yourself time to heal, seeking professional help if needed. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to seek a new place to live, find work, go back to school, and rebuild your self-esteem. The following is a list of tips for rediscovering yourself after a toxic marriage. Grieve for the relationship dream We don’t plan for a marriage to end during our wedding. We come into it full of dreams and promises. Toxic behaviors can interfere with and ruin those visions of the future. We may feel that we are starting over, sometimes with nothing but the clothes on our backs. Allow yourself to move through the grieving process. Grief has five stages: denial/shock, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may cycle through these stages repeatedly until you reach acceptance. Ask for help from a counselor if you are having trouble processing your emotions. Set new boundaries Now is the time to establish new boundaries. You may not have had clear boundaries or may not have known how to enforce them in the past. Decide what you will tolerate and what you will not. Learn to say no to everything that disturbs your peace or is not what you feel God has for you. You do not need to be accessible to everyone all day, every day. Let the people you love know your boundaries. This might mean turning off your phone at 8 p.m. or [...]

Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) means that your nervous system processes information more deeply and intensely than others. Things like noise and light levels in a room, the types of clothing you wear, or the general mood of a group of people could affect you in unique ways. Similarly, highly sensitive people might feel overwhelmed if they have a busy schedule or if people watch them while they perform a task. Busy schedules or noisy environments can be unpleasant for many people, but for the highly sensitive person (HSP), these things can be crippling. Without sufficient time to recharge, the HSP might shut down, completely unable to continue participating in simple daily events. It is helpful to know your triggers as an HSP, but there are five general triggers that most highly sensitive people face. Triggers for Highly Sensitive People Busy Environments A large part of being highly sensitive is having Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Neither high sensitivity nor SPS is a disorder. Rather, they are traits that certain people have. Quite simply, it is when your brain is acutely attuned to notice and digest information. For example, the average person might take note of how noisy a certain location is and either feel energized by that or react negatively. As an HSP, or person with SPS, you will absorb details in the room like overlapping conversations, the variety of moods in the people present, the harshness of the overhead lighting, and the humidity from all the bodies. With time and practice, you can learn to filter out these details. You might need to avoid noisy, crowded environments like concerts, large shopping malls, and the gym during their busier hours. It takes time to learn what you can and what you cannot handle. Physical Sensations Being sensitive to [...]