Relationship Issues Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

What Does it Mean to Be Codependent? A Christian Counselor Explains

What Does it Mean to Be Codependent? A Christian Counselor Explains

D. Nicole Ready, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T12:46:39+00:00May 22nd, 2026|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Who are you? How do you define yourself? Are you introspective, extroverted, self-aware, or a learner? Or do you tend to define yourself based on what you are to other people? We indeed live in tandem with other people. We play important roles in others' lives, such as mother, father, sibling, best friend, teacher, boss, etc. There is nothing wrong with having these roles and excelling at them; however, if you have come to a place where you are not able to see yourself apart from a particular relationship, you may be in danger of crossing the line from healthy relationship into codependence. What is codependency? Think for a moment about the movie The Devil Wears Prada. If you are not familiar with this movie, it is about a young journalist named Andy who lives in New York City and has landed a job at Runway magazine, the top fashion magazine in the world. Andy is not at all interested in fashion, but working for the editor and chief of Runway, Miranda, will allow you to get your foot in the door with about any other publication company in the city. So, for Andy, this is the career opportunity of a lifetime. As she begins her job, Andy stands out for all the wrong reasons and clearly does not fit in. And working for Miranda is the kind of job where you must be all in. So, you see Andy adapt and change through a fashion makeover, becoming committed 24 hours a day to Miranda, attending Paris week, betraying a coworker, and failing at every other relationship in her life. In the second half of the movie, you see Andy’s personal life fall apart. At one time, her boyfriend lets his frustrations toward the commitment that she has to [...]

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4 Signs of Infidelity: How to Detect Them and What Can Be Done

4 Signs of Infidelity: How to Detect Them and What Can Be Done

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T13:00:04+00:00May 20th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Do you feel like you and your spouse have drifted apart? Are you wondering if your spouse is interested in someone else? No matter how long we are married, infidelity is shocking and extremely painful. Knowing the signs of infidelity and understanding how to respond can help you overcome the hurt and restore your marriage. Please note that just because any or all these things might occur, it does not necessarily prove your spouse has been or is being unfaithful. They could just be a warning sign that there is a crack in the foundation of the marriage that needs to be addressed. It’s important to deal with any concerns in an open, loving, and honest manner as soon as possible. Behavioral Changes The first signs of infidelity you might notice are behavioral changes. There may be red flags, such as sudden secrecy with the phone, e-mail, or social media, changing passwords, always keeping the phone face down, or going to the other room to talk on the phone. A new e-mail address or suddenly using a text app or other communication app could indicate your spouse is trying to keep secrets. Other indicators could be changes in routine, such as staying at work late or going on unexplained trips, having new friends who they are not willing to introduce you to, getting involved with a new hobby or activity outside the home, but not including you. Your spouse may start dressing better or paying more attention to appearance, such as working out more, getting a new hairstyle, or purchasing new underwear. They may no longer want to participate in activities that the two of you used to do together. Digital and logistical clues may include things like deleting messages or browsing history, downloading and using new apps, creating [...]

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Social Anxiety Causes and Ways to Gain Control

Social Anxiety Causes and Ways to Gain Control

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-05-12T15:18:19+00:00May 12th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Social anxiety can keep you stuck. There are numerous opportunities available, yet you have a physical and emotional reaction to taking that first step. Whether it is crowded stores, events, or public speaking, social anxiety can lead to physical and mental issues. Being aware of the causes of social anxiety and strategies for how to gain control will help you experience life and fulfill your purpose and calling. 8 Social Anxiety Causes Social anxiety causes can vary, and not everyone is affected the same way. Two people can grow up in the same environment, and one can develop social anxiety while the other becomes a social butterfly, flitting between groups and events easily. The following is a list of common causes of social anxiety. Bullying Bullying robs an individual of self-esteem and establishes a fear of judgment and rejection. Often, these stem from experiences with bullying during childhood and then follow a child into adulthood. Adults can also face bullying in the workplace or at school from other adults. Harassment may not be physical, but the emotional upheaval can trigger social anxiety. Public Ridicule Many people fear public speaking because they are concerned with how others will perceive them. If they were made fun of by others, laughed at, or set up for public ridicule, they may avoid any social functions. These individuals may try to blend into the background to keep from attracting attention. Public ridicule could have been in the form of the person’s appearance, clothing, smell, status, or past behavior. Growing Up in a Household with Social Anxiety If you lived in a household where a family member suffered from social anxiety, you may be at a higher risk of developing the condition. Perhaps your family member felt fear when the doorbell rang or had panic [...]

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Bullying Prevention in Today’s Hi-Tech Schools

Bullying Prevention in Today’s Hi-Tech Schools

Kate Motaung2026-06-04T20:30:15+00:00April 22nd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Bullying can take many forms, especially in today’s schools with access to in-person and online classes, social media, and AI apps. Bullying prevention is necessary to protect the younger generation’s mental, emotional, and physical health. The long-term effects of bullying can be damaging, sabotaging relationships, opportunities, and jobs. Once you are knowledgeable of those effects, you can push for bullying prevention and school reform to address the impact bullying has on students. Although many school districts state they have a zero policy for bullying, many parents find that their children are bullied year after year. Why Bullying is Detrimental to Children’s Health Bullying affects children’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Coming to school afraid of what someone may say or do to them can cause psychological trauma with lasting effects on self-esteem. Bullying can be physical abuse if the bully hurts them. With advances in technology, more AI usage is becoming normalized, and with social media platforms, cyberbullying has grown in its prevalence. A child bullied online can feel as if the whole world is against them. Bullies can now say things online or create images using AI that are false, but appear believable. The earlier we introduce bullying prevention in schools and educate our children about the dangers, the better prepared they will be to confront bullies. Strategies for Bullying Prevention Bullying prevention is crucial in educating and raising awareness within communities and schools. Studies have shown that suicide is the third leading cause of death in children and young adults, aged 10 to 24. Although it is unclear how many of these deaths could be the result of suicide, bullying increases the risk of suicidal ideation. It’s time that we take control of the bullying epidemic. Cyberbullying changed the game. Now, children bully others without ever leaving [...]

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What Animals Can Teach Us About Our Coping Skills for Anger

What Animals Can Teach Us About Our Coping Skills for Anger

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-03-03T04:35:19+00:00March 3rd, 2026|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Anger is one of those feelings that can just sneak up on you. It might start with something small: a tightening of your jaw, a flash of irritation, a sigh you can’t quite catch. Then suddenly, it’s more than that, and you snap. You find yourself raising your voice or saying something you would never have said to another. There’s no shortage of advice out there on how to manage anger. There are plenty of books, podcasts, and tips out there about managing anger. But one of the most powerful lessons we can learn comes from those who don’t speak with words: animals. There is evidence that animals feel fear, stress, frustration, and danger. Yet they don’t tend to carry that energy around with them the way people often do. A dog might growl at something, then wag its tail a minute later. A bird might squawk and fly away, then go pecking about soon after. Animals don’t replay the moment in their minds or harbor resentment. They feel, they release, they move on. That pattern isn’t just instinct. It’s a natural kind of wisdom, and one we can borrow when building our own coping skills for anger. Why Animals Let Go Faster Than People When an animal senses danger or fear, naturally, it reacts immediately. A cat might hiss, a horse might stomp, a rabbit might dash away. But once the threat has passed, the animal returns to its usual state, calm, curious, restful. They don’t carry that incident in their mind all day. Unlike humans, animals don’t ruminate. They don’t nurse grudges or rehearse arguments in their heads. Their emotional responses are immediate, instinctive, and often followed by a reset. On a basic level, we might say it’s because our minds are more complex, with memory, language, [...]

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Emotional Trauma in Relationships: Causes, Impact, and Finding Healing

Emotional Trauma in Relationships: Causes, Impact, and Finding Healing

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2026-05-16T07:40:25+00:00February 27th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Different kinds of wounds can be inflicted upon us, and we can inflict wounds upon others. From a young age, we learn that we can get hurt, that our actions have consequences, and that when we get hurt or hurt others, it can take time for healing to happen. Physical wounds are one thing, but emotional trauma is another kind of wound that can cause lasting damage in relationships as well as to a person’s well-being. The playground retort that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words alone won’t hurt me” is one way to respond to the mean things that someone says to you. Sticks and stones cause visible damage, and so the hurt they cause is obvious. However, it isn’t true that words can’t or don’t hurt. Words absolutely hurt, and even callous actions can leave a lasting negative impression. But what is emotional trauma, and how does it impact you? A Wound Beneath the Surface When someone says that they’ve experienced physical trauma, we know to give them a once-over to locate the hurt and then begin the process of treatment. When someone gets hurt in other ways, like emotionally, how do you even begin to know where to look and how to deal with it? Understanding emotional trauma is an important step that will get us closer to knowing what to look for, as well as understanding how it impacts someone. Emotional trauma can be a deep psychological wound that is caused by an experience that overwhelms your ability to cope. Some wounds happen, but you’re able to take it in stride. A colleague makes a snide remark during a work meeting, but you’re able to keep things moving, shrugging it off. There are other times when certain actions or words overwhelm you, [...]

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Fun Date Night Ideas in Plano, Texas That Don’t Break the Bank

Fun Date Night Ideas in Plano, Texas That Don’t Break the Bank

Sandra Stein2026-02-26T09:10:37+00:00February 26th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Looking for some fun date night ideas in Plano, Texas? We can help. Marriage needs consistent attention and maintenance in order to thrive. Making an intentional effort to connect with each other on a regular basis can help you and your spouse maintain a healthy relationship by reinforcing your commitment to one another, keeping you on the same page and in sync, and ensuring that your marriage is not neglected because of the demands of work and parenting. Date night ideas in Plano, Texas create an opportunity to spend quality time with one another, relax and de-stress from the daily grind, engage in activities you enjoy, have fun, nurture your relationship, and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. They are a way of boosting your connection, fostering intimacy, and keeping the spark alive. Fun Date Night Ideas in Plano, Texas that are Inexpensive and Create Connection Date nights in Plano don’t have to be fancy or cost a ton of money. They don’t even have to involve going out. The following are some examples of inexpensive or free fun date night ideas to get you started. Go on a walk or hike together Walking at Arbor Hills Nature Preserve in Plano, Texas is a great way to de-stress while enjoying each other’s company, free of the distractions of daily living. Sometimes life gets so busy you have no idea what your spouse may be struggling with, or what he or she is thinking about. Use this time to ask each other questions about how each of you are feeling and how things are going. It is often easier to connect emotionally when you are engaged in an activity together. Visit a restaurant or coffee shop you’ve never been to before Relax and enjoy [...]

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6 Tips for Long-Distance Dating

6 Tips for Long-Distance Dating

Melissa Plantz2025-10-27T12:45:33+00:00October 29th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Whether your boyfriend or girlfriend lives far away, is stationed in another state, deployed overseas, or working elsewhere, you can keep the fire alive in your relationship with a few long-distance dating tips. 6 Tips for Long-Distance Dating You can maintain a strong relationship even when you’re separated. It takes effort, considering the other person’s needs and respecting their boundaries. It also takes a level of trust. Long-term, long-distance dating can be more challenging, and you may want to consider seeking help from a counselor. For example, a couple separated by one taking a new job in another state may have an easier time over the next four months before the wedding compared to the couple separated by a year-long deployment overseas. The following is a list of several tips for long-distance dating. Communicate Often Communication lines must stay open and honest. Let your other half know you are thinking of them with calls, video chats, and memes. A little text in the middle of the day, letting them know they’re on your mind, can bring you closer. With today’s technology, seeing each other face-to-face virtually can make the distance seem shorter. Ask Questions When you speak to your significant other, ask questions and actively listen to their responses. Don’t get so caught up in what you want to say that you miss the details. People build trust and confidence with others when they believe that the person is taking a genuine interest in them. Do Something Together Virtually Engage in activities you can share virtually. For example, stream a movie at the same time, cook dinner while video chatting, or play a game online. Think of ways the two of you can share an experience. How about a virtual tour of a historical place? You can discuss what [...]

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Are You in a Codependent Relationship? Signs of Codependency to Look Out for

Are You in a Codependent Relationship? Signs of Codependency to Look Out for

Kate Motaung2026-06-04T20:35:13+00:00October 21st, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Picture the scene: two fish swimming in a lake. The one fish turns to the other and asks, “Hey, what’s water?” From the perspective of everyone who’s not those fish, it’s obvious what water is. However, it’s possible to be so immersed in your perspective, experiences, or surroundings that you struggle even to question or notice the things that could seem obvious to others. Our relationships are one area where we might miss the obvious. When you’re accustomed to your relationships operating in a certain way, you may become blind to the ways they are unhealthy. Just like the fish in water that doesn’t even know that it’s in water, you might be in an unhealthy and codependent relationship without being fully aware of the fact. Knowing the signs of codependency can help you identify these patterns and address them. Codependency – What is it? You may have heard the term "codependent" before, and perhaps you puzzled over its meaning. It’s been said that “no person is an island”, and we all depend on each other to one degree. Surely, depending on others, and being aware of that dependence, isn’t a bad thing? True, mutual dependence is a fact of life, and a beautiful one at that. We need community, and our communities need us. We are more fully human when we’re in relationship with others. However, there is a world of difference between mutual dependence, which is the fabric of our society, and codependence. Mutual dependence involves people who are bringing what they have to share with others to meet the needs of others that they can’t fulfil themselves, whether due to capacity or something else. A mechanic and a butcher can depend on each other for things they may not have the time, capacity, or skill to do [...]

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How to Make Friends If You Have Social Anxiety

How to Make Friends If You Have Social Anxiety

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-03-25T12:57:32+00:00September 24th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Most people crave friendships. Even the most introverted among us has a certain degree of God given desire for social connection. God made us social creatures for a reason. He created Eve when He recognized Adam’s social need. God brought us back into fellowship with Him when He saw the sin-induced divide. So, having people in your life is important and necessary for fellowship, mission work, and overall life satisfaction. If you’re craving relationships, there are a lot of ways to find those social connections, even if you’re socially awkward or suffer from social anxiety. Even if you have a shy personality or have been criticized publicly. Even if toxic friendships have made you afraid to trust others again. And even if you’re at a stage in your life where you are physically unable to socialize in the ways you always have. Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety Whatever the reason for your isolation, it can be difficult to reach out to others when your insides are a jumbled-up mess of nerves, doubt, fear, hurt, and self-doubt. But there is hope. You can overcome those obstacles that prevent authentic connections and live a whole, fulfilling social life. You can be a part of a dynamic duo or be a main character in a friend group. You can find people who will support you in your endeavors and cry with you in your defeats. But first, you might have to put in a little work to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of those authentic and meaningful connections. Get therapy Therapy can help you not only understand but also untangle the things that are standing in the way of quality relationships in your life. Sometimes what you need is someone trained to walk with you through the fear, trauma, and [...]

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