Relationship Issues Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

Overcoming the Challenges of Being a Stepparent In a Blended Family

Overcoming the Challenges of Being a Stepparent In a Blended Family

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-09-09T08:59:13+00:00September 9th, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The word “family” can conjure up wildly different pictures and emotions for different people. Your experience of family shapes what you expect and desire regarding family. These experiences will vary, as some families have one parent or none; a person may be an only child or have many siblings; and the home that one grows up in might be a happy and healthy one, but it can also be extremely dysfunctional. One family situation that you could find yourself part of is a blended family. This comes with its own set of blessings and challenges. Different Family Dynamics and Difficulties Within Blended Families Families come in all shapes and sizes, and that includes blended families. A blended family is when two people form a new family with kids from previous situations. A new family is forged out of two or more previously separate families. The children that form this new family might have been adopted, from previous partners, or born to the couple, or a combination of the above. Family dynamics are complex enough when everyone is related by blood and part of the same household from the beginning. The impact of dynamics such as birth order can affect how siblings understand themselves and their role in the family. When two families come together, not only do the joys multiply, but these complex dynamics of interaction multiply, too. Blended families are often faced with unique challenges that can test bonds and the ingenuity of parents in navigating those new family dynamics. As stepparents, there are a few common challenges to be aware of that can affect how family members relate to one another. Common challenges Grief and Loss The new family may come in the wake of broken relationships, and family members may still be grieving the loss of [...]

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Children’s Mental Health: Five Toxic Phrases NOT to Say to Your Kids

Children’s Mental Health: Five Toxic Phrases NOT to Say to Your Kids

D. Nicole Ready, Kate Motaung2026-09-03T07:30:51+00:00September 3rd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Most parents strive to be loving, supportive, and caring to their children. They read self-help and parenting books to learn how to be the best parents they can be. They painstakingly curate friendships to help their kids thrive and run to the rescue whenever someone says something offensive to them. They may even rehearse pep talks and thoughtfully craft sentimental birthday card messages. And yet, even the most well-intentioned parents fall short of their own parenting ideals sometimes. In stressful moments, you might not take the time to consider your words. You might repeat phrases you heard growing up that seem to work in specific situations. Other times you might not be mindful of your words at all. Some clichés and rote statements seem to be inherited as they have been used and reused by parents for generations. And they can creep out of your mouth without much forethought. They might sound harmless, even motivating, but these common, seemingly benign comments can negatively impact children’s mental health and shape how your children view themselves and their place in the family. Why can’t you be more like ____? How does the old saying go: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” If you’re a parent and you don’t think your child is quite living up to their potential or is making questionable choices, you might be tempted to use peer pressure to motivate them into better choices. You point out the good things you see in others their age as a means of motivation. To you, you’re showing them a good example of proper behavior. To them, you’re favoring someone else over them. While you might think that you’re motivating your child, you are likely pushing them into envy more than corrective action. What children hear instead of a motivation speech [...]

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Adverse Childhood Experiences and the Hidden Cost of Growing Up in a Conflict-Free Home

Adverse Childhood Experiences and the Hidden Cost of Growing Up in a Conflict-Free Home

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-09-04T07:24:06+00:00August 28th, 2026|Abandonment and Neglect, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

It may seem strange to say that quiet households aren’t necessarily healthy. Homes where there are no arguments between the parents, no slamming doors, and no visible discord are often depicted as the perfect home environment. But there are times that this perfect environment feels off. There’s an unnamed uneasiness, lingering in the shadows. Adverse childhood experiences aren’t just a product of loud and volatile environments. These experiences often have roots embedded in homes where there was no conflict. In these homes, the silence itself has become the message. It’s important to pay attention to this as Scripture is clear about how to raise children: "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6, NASB 1995 Adverse Childhood Experiences in the Spaces Between the Words Society commonly associates adverse childhood experiences with obvious harm such as abuse, neglect, or a household shaped by addiction or violence. But the definition reaches far beyond those familiar categories. Other areas connected to adverse childhood experiences are emotional unavailability, chronically unresolved dynamics, or emotional environments that children absorb before they have a language to describe them. When conflict is permanently suppressed within a home, a different set of messages is sent. Children are more perceptive than parents give them credit for. They notice when there is a proverbial elephant in the room that no one is talking about. The weight of unspoken disagreements and a cool distance between their parents are things that children can pick up on, even though no words have been spoken. What they see, and what they don’t see, is quietly shaping the way they understand the dynamics of relationships and how they should work. When conflict is avoided, children often grow up believing that [...]

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Progressive Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children

Progressive Parenting and Behavioral Problems in Children

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2026-07-22T06:57:06+00:00July 22nd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Across America, a shift is underway that most parents do not anticipate. They’re working hard to keep their children happy and genuinely believe that they are doing their best. Still, behavioral problems, including defiance at home, struggles in school, and difficulty respecting authority, surface. The parents find themselves confused and exhausted, wondering how their best intentions led to these challenging outcomes. We often find the answer in the parenting philosophy that has shaped American culture for over 50 years. Progressive parenting has emphasized freedom and emotional expression while minimizing structure and boundaries. The result is an environment where children lack the framework they need to develop self-control and emotional regulation. The absence of this intentional training leads to children facing a world without the internal compass needed to make wise choices. Many families face a challenge centered on a message that has defined good parenting as prioritizing a child’s emotional expression at the expense of necessary boundaries. Biblical wisdom serves us well in these situations: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV The Progressive Parenting Movement and Its Promises The psychological mainstream started in the 1960s and made a dramatic claim that reshaped parenting for generations. This claim from mental health professionals emphasizes that parents who don’t allow children to express their feelings freely create an avenue for mental health problems for their children. Society began to define it as understanding and appropriately responding to all emotional expressions. This suggested a promise that children raised with maximum freedom and minimal boundaries would grow into confident, emotionally healthy adults with strong self-esteem. This approach led parents to believe that structure and discipline could damage their children’s psyches, and that unlimited emotional support [...]

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What to Do When You Are One of Those Toxic Couples

What to Do When You Are One of Those Toxic Couples

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-06-17T07:43:03+00:00June 17th, 2026|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

You’ve probably seen them on TV. Those couples who fight all the time, complain about each other in their social circles, or who seem to have this weird co-dependency where they aren’t happy when they’re together, but they also can’t stay away from each other. Maybe the toxic couple that came to mind when you read the title of this article is you and your partner. Toxic couples display a recurring pattern of emotionally damaging behaviors. They disrespect each other, fight for control, offer constant criticism, or simply position themselves to manipulate each other and those around them. While these kinds of relationships may get a laugh out of a television audience, when they play out in real homes and lives, they can erode self-esteem and the well-being of both individuals and those caught in their crossfire. We aren’t one of “those” toxic couples, are we? The gossip mill is full of juicy stories about the “Smiths” and the loud fight they had last night. The one that the neighbors heard and even caught a glimpse of from their video doorbell. And then of course, there’s the “Johnsons,” who are notorious for their aggressive and even passive-aggressive social media arguments. And then there’s the “Joneses,” who are never seen in public together, but take every opportunity they can to tear each other down when they have an audience. It’s easy to see these faults in the neighbors, your sister-in-law, and the family from church. But it’s a little more challenging to see characteristics when they’re in you. Even Jesus weighs in on this truth: “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5 (NIV). “Whoa! Are you talking to me?” you [...]

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What Does it Mean to Be Codependent? A Christian Counselor Explains

What Does it Mean to Be Codependent? A Christian Counselor Explains

D. Nicole Ready, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T12:46:39+00:00May 22nd, 2026|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Who are you? How do you define yourself? Are you introspective, extroverted, self-aware, or a learner? Or do you tend to define yourself based on what you are to other people? We indeed live in tandem with other people. We play important roles in others' lives, such as mother, father, sibling, best friend, teacher, boss, etc. There is nothing wrong with having these roles and excelling at them; however, if you have come to a place where you are not able to see yourself apart from a particular relationship, you may be in danger of crossing the line from healthy relationship into codependence. What is codependency? Think for a moment about the movie The Devil Wears Prada. If you are not familiar with this movie, it is about a young journalist named Andy who lives in New York City and has landed a job at Runway magazine, the top fashion magazine in the world. Andy is not at all interested in fashion, but working for the editor and chief of Runway, Miranda, will allow you to get your foot in the door with about any other publication company in the city. So, for Andy, this is the career opportunity of a lifetime. As she begins her job, Andy stands out for all the wrong reasons and clearly does not fit in. And working for Miranda is the kind of job where you must be all in. So, you see Andy adapt and change through a fashion makeover, becoming committed 24 hours a day to Miranda, attending Paris week, betraying a coworker, and failing at every other relationship in her life. In the second half of the movie, you see Andy’s personal life fall apart. At one time, her boyfriend lets his frustrations toward the commitment that she has to [...]

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4 Signs of Infidelity: How to Detect Them and What Can Be Done

4 Signs of Infidelity: How to Detect Them and What Can Be Done

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2026-05-30T13:00:04+00:00May 20th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Do you feel like you and your spouse have drifted apart? Are you wondering if your spouse is interested in someone else? No matter how long we are married, infidelity is shocking and extremely painful. Knowing the signs of infidelity and understanding how to respond can help you overcome the hurt and restore your marriage. Please note that just because any or all these things might occur, it does not necessarily prove your spouse has been or is being unfaithful. They could just be a warning sign that there is a crack in the foundation of the marriage that needs to be addressed. It’s important to deal with any concerns in an open, loving, and honest manner as soon as possible. Behavioral Changes The first signs of infidelity you might notice are behavioral changes. There may be red flags, such as sudden secrecy with the phone, e-mail, or social media, changing passwords, always keeping the phone face down, or going to the other room to talk on the phone. A new e-mail address or suddenly using a text app or other communication app could indicate your spouse is trying to keep secrets. Other indicators could be changes in routine, such as staying at work late or going on unexplained trips, having new friends who they are not willing to introduce you to, getting involved with a new hobby or activity outside the home, but not including you. Your spouse may start dressing better or paying more attention to appearance, such as working out more, getting a new hairstyle, or purchasing new underwear. They may no longer want to participate in activities that the two of you used to do together. Digital and logistical clues may include things like deleting messages or browsing history, downloading and using new apps, creating [...]

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Social Anxiety Causes and Ways to Gain Control

Social Anxiety Causes and Ways to Gain Control

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-05-12T15:18:19+00:00May 12th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Social anxiety can keep you stuck. There are numerous opportunities available, yet you have a physical and emotional reaction to taking that first step. Whether it is crowded stores, events, or public speaking, social anxiety can lead to physical and mental issues. Being aware of the causes of social anxiety and strategies for how to gain control will help you experience life and fulfill your purpose and calling. 8 Social Anxiety Causes Social anxiety causes can vary, and not everyone is affected the same way. Two people can grow up in the same environment, and one can develop social anxiety while the other becomes a social butterfly, flitting between groups and events easily. The following is a list of common causes of social anxiety. Bullying Bullying robs an individual of self-esteem and establishes a fear of judgment and rejection. Often, these stem from experiences with bullying during childhood and then follow a child into adulthood. Adults can also face bullying in the workplace or at school from other adults. Harassment may not be physical, but the emotional upheaval can trigger social anxiety. Public Ridicule Many people fear public speaking because they are concerned with how others will perceive them. If they were made fun of by others, laughed at, or set up for public ridicule, they may avoid any social functions. These individuals may try to blend into the background to keep from attracting attention. Public ridicule could have been in the form of the person’s appearance, clothing, smell, status, or past behavior. Growing Up in a Household with Social Anxiety If you lived in a household where a family member suffered from social anxiety, you may be at a higher risk of developing the condition. Perhaps your family member felt fear when the doorbell rang or had panic [...]

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Bullying Prevention in Today’s Hi-Tech Schools

Bullying Prevention in Today’s Hi-Tech Schools

Kate Motaung2026-06-04T20:30:15+00:00April 22nd, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Bullying can take many forms, especially in today’s schools with access to in-person and online classes, social media, and AI apps. Bullying prevention is necessary to protect the younger generation’s mental, emotional, and physical health. The long-term effects of bullying can be damaging, sabotaging relationships, opportunities, and jobs. Once you are knowledgeable of those effects, you can push for bullying prevention and school reform to address the impact bullying has on students. Although many school districts state they have a zero policy for bullying, many parents find that their children are bullied year after year. Why Bullying is Detrimental to Children’s Health Bullying affects children’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Coming to school afraid of what someone may say or do to them can cause psychological trauma with lasting effects on self-esteem. Bullying can be physical abuse if the bully hurts them. With advances in technology, more AI usage is becoming normalized, and with social media platforms, cyberbullying has grown in its prevalence. A child bullied online can feel as if the whole world is against them. Bullies can now say things online or create images using AI that are false, but appear believable. The earlier we introduce bullying prevention in schools and educate our children about the dangers, the better prepared they will be to confront bullies. Strategies for Bullying Prevention Bullying prevention is crucial in educating and raising awareness within communities and schools. Studies have shown that suicide is the third leading cause of death in children and young adults, aged 10 to 24. Although it is unclear how many of these deaths could be the result of suicide, bullying increases the risk of suicidal ideation. It’s time that we take control of the bullying epidemic. Cyberbullying changed the game. Now, children bully others without ever leaving [...]

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What Animals Can Teach Us About Our Coping Skills for Anger

What Animals Can Teach Us About Our Coping Skills for Anger

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2026-03-03T04:35:19+00:00March 3rd, 2026|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Anger is one of those feelings that can just sneak up on you. It might start with something small: a tightening of your jaw, a flash of irritation, a sigh you can’t quite catch. Then suddenly, it’s more than that, and you snap. You find yourself raising your voice or saying something you would never have said to another. There’s no shortage of advice out there on how to manage anger. There are plenty of books, podcasts, and tips out there about managing anger. But one of the most powerful lessons we can learn comes from those who don’t speak with words: animals. There is evidence that animals feel fear, stress, frustration, and danger. Yet they don’t tend to carry that energy around with them the way people often do. A dog might growl at something, then wag its tail a minute later. A bird might squawk and fly away, then go pecking about soon after. Animals don’t replay the moment in their minds or harbor resentment. They feel, they release, they move on. That pattern isn’t just instinct. It’s a natural kind of wisdom, and one we can borrow when building our own coping skills for anger. Why Animals Let Go Faster Than People When an animal senses danger or fear, naturally, it reacts immediately. A cat might hiss, a horse might stomp, a rabbit might dash away. But once the threat has passed, the animal returns to its usual state, calm, curious, restful. They don’t carry that incident in their mind all day. Unlike humans, animals don’t ruminate. They don’t nurse grudges or rehearse arguments in their heads. Their emotional responses are immediate, instinctive, and often followed by a reset. On a basic level, we might say it’s because our minds are more complex, with memory, language, [...]

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