Easing Stress When Moving to a New House

Relocating your whole life is not an easy thing to do. Moving house is one of the more stressful things that an average person goes through. That’s one of the reasons why one can read the biblical stories in Exodus and Numbers of the ancient Israelites grumbling on their desert sojourn with some sympathy. Imagine settling and uprooting yourself and your family so often!

Unfortunately, moving house, while being extremely stressful, is one of the realities that we must contend with at some point in our lives. For many of us, we’d rather remain rooted right where we are. There is a sense of comfort, familiarity, and security in being in one place and building our lives there. And so, when a move needs to happen, it can be disruptive, unpleasant, and stressful.

Why Moving House Is Stressful

There are many reasons why moving house is stressful. Sometimes it’s the reasons behind the move that make it stressful, while in many cases the simple fact of moving itself is the issue. Each of us has our own level of tolerance for change and disruption to our daily routines. Often, it’s only when your routine is disturbed – when you don’t get that morning coffee or your morning commute is disrupted – that you see how out of sorts you are for the rest of the day.

Moving house can be stressful for the following reasons:

• The circumstances behind the move  There are many reasons why people move. Sometimes, those reasons are less than pleasant, and that can add to the stress one experiences. If you need to move because you couldn’t keep up with the mortgage payments, or if you’re moving due to a loss in the family, or if you’re moving to be close enough to support a loved one, that can be stress upon stress.
• It’s complicated  Moving can be such a complicated process. Selling your old house and finding a new one can be a lengthy and complicated process that involves things beyond your control. Depending on how the housing market is doing, you can also experience financial stress if you’re losing money on your home or need to pay a lot to purchase your new home.

Moving requires many decisions to be made, and that too is part of the complication, fatigue, and stress. You need to decide where you’re moving to, what you can afford, when to move there, and how to move, and in each of those questions many decisions need to be made.

• It is change  How easy is it for you to change how you do things? People are hardwired to follow routines, as these simplify life and the number of decisions you need to make in a day. Moving implies a whole lot of change to almost all the routines that govern your life. From new gyms, bicycle tracks and running trails, coffee shops, restaurants, neighbors, and more, there’s a lot of change afoot.
• Your life is in limbo When you’re moving house, you may find yourself negotiating being in two spaces at the same time. For at least a little while, you’re between your old life and your new life in the new house. You are uprooting yourself here and are looking to plant yourself in your new home and neighborhood. Until you settle into your new home, life feels a little odd.
• Helping others make sense of it all  If you are a family on the move, as the adult(s) in the situation, you need to help one another and your children to make the move well. Adults struggle with change, and children, as resilient as they can be, can also have their own issues with change. Stress can come from trying to manage various personalities and the ways each of you handles your own stress.

These and other reasons make moving house a stressful undertaking. Of course, moving to a new place is an adventure of sorts, as you’ll have new opportunities to connect with a different community, build up new healthy habits, and start afresh in finding ways to connect as a family.

Signs Of Stress When You’re Moving

When you’re moving house, it’s more than likely that you’ll experience some level of stress. Keep an eye on the signs of stress so that you can find ways to address it. It’s common for stress to cause people’s tempers to become shorter than usual, or for people to withdraw and disconnect from one another as they cope with their stress differently.

The stress of moving can manifest in various ways, perhaps as feelings of anxiety, through a lack of sleep, feeling worried without a specific reason for it, and falling ill and being more susceptible to illness. These manifestations of stress can linger for months, both during the move itself and afterward as well.

How to Cope Well with the Stress of Moving

The stress of moving need not overwhelm you. There are some ways that you can deal effectively with that stress so that this significant life change doesn’t overwhelm you or your family.

One of the ways to deal with the stress of moving is to get organized and plan well. Give yourself time to prepare yourself and your family for your move. Being aware of things like the dates when you must move out can help immensely. You can then work backward and set dates for when certain tasks need to be started and completed. Planning like this can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed.

When you know what tasks need to be attended to, you can start small and start early; the sense of accomplishment that comes from crossing things off your list, no matter how small, can be a great motivator. As you go along, if you can, set aside a small budget for any unexpected expenses that could come up. This preparation will help keep you from being too surprised when things come up, because they often will.

Another help for relieving the stress of moving house is to speak to friends or loved ones who have moved recently about their experiences so that you can gain some ideas for your move. Most people don’t move often enough in their lifetimes to remain current on the services available and the costs associated with moving. Someone who’s gone through it recently will have a better picture of what needs doing, which is a great help.

You can also make your move easier by trying to declutter. You likely have more stuff than you need, and there’s no point in moving stuff into your new home that you won’t use. Taking some time now to remove the things you don’t need to take with you will save you time and energy down the line.

Moving doesn’t have to be something you do by yourself. The relationships you forge with other people can help make a house move less stressful. You should be able to delegate and ask for help from others. Sure, that means things may not get packed away exactly how you’d want them to be, but you can always prioritize what you must do yourself, and what you feel you can entrust to others. If you can afford it, using a moving service can also make a world of difference.

Along with the willingness to let other people get involved, you should also carry an openness to the idea that you won’t get everything right and that things will get messy along the way. Learn to let go of what isn’t in your control, such as the housing market or people who are slow to get back to you. Focus on what you can do and do that as best you can.

As you go about your move, it’s also important that you communicate well with one another, and are kind to each other. Stress can make people short-tempered, and it can make the move an unpleasant experience for everyone. The Scripture that comes to mind is “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV). A house move needs a family to cover each other with grace.

Lastly, try to have fun with it. Go and meet the new neighbors, and treat your move as a fresh start, and something of an adventure. You can also make use of little touches like creating a moving day comfort box that has items in it to make everyone in the family feel comfortable and relaxed in your new home. It could be a favorite toy, a scented candle, or your favorite mug. Having an overnight bag ready will also help with not needing to unpack to settle in for the night.

It may be helpful to seek professional help in adjusting to moving to a new environment. Speaking to a mental and emotional health expert such as a counselor can help you and your family manage your move well and adjust to your new home smoothly.