5 Ways to Grow After Betrayal Trauma

People who have experienced infidelity, separation, or divorce will often tell you that it is the hardest thing they have had to face. Besides all of the emotions that come with the territory, you might also have to navigate practical challenges you have never had to face alone, like being a single parent or having to live alone. Let’s consider some practical ways in which you might recover and thrive after betrayal trauma.

5 Ways to Grow After Betrayal Trauma

While it certainly is going to be a rough ride, there are silver linings and things to look forward to. Here are five ways that you might find yourself growing after experiencing infidelity or betrayal trauma:

You learn to live again

Some people go through divorce or leave their spouses late in life. Others have barely reached their forties before they face the end of a marriage. Whatever age you are at, you have just survived potentially the biggest challenge you have had to face. You are a survivor. Not only that, but you now have the chance to figure out what the rest of your life will look like.

You reevaluate relationships

When you go through trauma, you will quickly realize who the key people in your life are. They might be the ones who have always been there, but their consistency cannot be underestimated. You might be surprised by the person who shows up for you at this point, but don’t take anyone for granted. Friends are the family we choose, but they are also the ones who show up for us in practical, measurable, dependable ways.

You begin exploring new horizons

This might be the first time you have ever had the freedom, time, and space to make choices for yourself. It might not feel positive or exciting right now, but the fact is that you have options. You might want to travel, change something about yourself, begin dating again, or find a new skill to throw yourself into. Not only can you do these things but doing them will teach you about yourself and the world around you.

You connect with yourself

If you are struggling to find anything positive about your situation post-divorce or breakup, you might want to simply take a look in the mirror. You are resilient for having made it this far.

This chapter of your life might be a chance for you to become more aware of yourself, your attributes, your desires, your gifts, and your legacy. You have made a difference simply by being yourself, regardless of what you have achieved or not achieved. Life is different because you are in it and have made it this far.

You connect with God

Among the anger, hurt, and unforgiveness you might be feeling, it’s possible you also feel shame. Divorce particularly often makes you feel as if you have wronged someone, even if you were the victim.

God always invites us to draw near to Him exactly as we are. He has seen everything that happened, knows everything we are feeling, and is not shocked or disappointed. Lean into the One Who has carried you when you couldn’t walk because He has never left and never will.

Hope For a Future

There is a lot to process after a marriage ends. You are not the first to go through it and you certainly won’t be the last. It might feel like life will never be the same again, and truly it won’t, but that is not a bad thing. Yes, there are many things to deal with, on a practical level as well as on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level. However, you have made it through and whether it feels like it or not, you are experiencing post-traumatic growth.

Leaving a marriage or serious relationship often means that you are forced to focus on the next step, and plan or adjust in practical ways to your new life. You can spend some time focusing on yourself and looking at how you have grown. You might not feel any different. It might be hard to see any positive, but there is still a good future available for you. You are nearing it one day at a time.

If you are going through divorce, separation, or trying to heal a relationship damaged by infidelity, you would benefit from meeting with a counselor for support. At our Christian counseling office in Plano, Texas are options for individual counseling, where you meet with a counselor in one-on-one sessions, or couples counseling, where you and your partner or spouse speak with a counselor. Contact us for more information and we can connect you with a Christian counselor in Plano, Texas who will help.