Trauma Counseling in Plano, Texas: Finding Your Identity After Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is scarring. It can rip away what sense you had of yourself. Once the abuse has ended and you have placed distance between yourself and your abuser, you may be left wondering who you are or trying to remember the person you were before the abuse. You can find your identity after emotional abuse with time, healing, and patience. Here at Plano Christian Counseling, we offer trauma counseling in Plano, Texas, to help you overcome the effects of emotional abuse.

Tips for Finding Yourself After Emotional Abuse

Be willing to work on your mental and emotional health after emotional abuse. It takes time for healing and for the discovery of what was hidden. The abuse slowly chipped away at you, but your identity is still there. You just need to rediscover it. Trauma counseling in Plano, Texas,T can help.

Journal your emotions

Your emotions may feel like they are all over the place after experiencing abuse. It may be difficult to decipher exactly what you are feeling. Anger? Bitterness? Pain? Probably all three. Journaling is an excellent tool for identifying and working through emotions.

Although you can use a digital version, many people find that using a paper journal gives them a sense of catharsis. Releasing strong emotions frees you from the bondage of emotional abuse. You can also use your journal as a reference if you decide to try counseling, providing insight into your thoughts and feelings.

Be kind to yourself

If the emotional abuse was severe, you may hear your abuser’s voice in your ear, whispering terrible things about you. Those words can become a false belief. Learning how to identify and challenge those thoughts will help you to be kinder to yourself.

Abuse is not your fault. The fault lies with a person who is broken and hurts others. Show yourself kindness and grace. Start taking care of your body and appearance to boost your confidence. Smile more often, even while talking on the phone or peering into a mirror.

Set strong boundaries

Abusers obliterate boundaries. If the emotional abuse was prolonged or started early in your life, you may have never set boundaries because you didn’t know who you were at the time. Boundaries protect you and give you peace of mind. They encompass your values and self-worth.

For example, you can set boundaries regarding how people interact with you, when you are available by phone, and when visitors are permitted to come to your home. As you enter new relationships, you will set boundaries on what you will tolerate and what you will not. Abusers push against these boundaries as an affront to them, but remember this is for you and your peace.

Rediscover your passion and values

After years of emotional abuse, you may have forgotten the passions you had before it all started. Perhaps you never had a chance to discover interests and hobbies. Now is the time to discover these for yourself.

Perhaps you’d like to return to school or explore a new interest, such as learning a foreign language. Maybe you were afraid to try swing dance classes at Dance Vision Studios Plano, but know that stepping out of your comfort zone is what you need to heal and grow into your identity. Don’t be afraid to try and try again. The worst thing that can happen is that you discover something isn’t for you and move on to something new.

Set new goals

Setting goals and achieving the small tasks along the way to reaching those goals boosts confidence and self-esteem. You experience a rush of excitement when you can check another task off your list.

Create a list of five to ten goals. Choose a few short-term and long-term goals. Next, choose one or two short-term goals and list the daily, weekly, and monthly tasks required to achieve them. Occasionally, reassess your progress and see what you need to tweak to continue making progress. Celebrate every milestone along the way.

Look to Christ for your identity

The only place to truly find your identity is through Jesus Christ. Just like with any relationship, you need to spend time with Him reading the Bible and praying. The more you read and study, the more you will begin to live with the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Find a Bible reading plan that you can follow daily, that also has explanations if you need them for a deeper dive into the reading. Unlike humans, God is always faithful, and His love endures forever.

Trauma Counseling in Plano, Texas

Help is available if you are a victim of emotional abuse. Christian trauma counseling in Plano, Texas, combines psychology with faith-based principles to facilitate healing and moving past toxic relationships. Contact us today at Plano Christian Counseling in Texas to speak with a Christian counselor in Plano and begin your journey to rediscovering your identity in Christ.