Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

For many people, getting married is one of the central goals of their life. “Will I ever get married?” is a wistful question they often ask themselves when they see their friends married, getting married, or in serious relationships and they are not. They view their singleness as an insurmountable wall separating them from happiness and wonder if there is something wrong with them and if or when it will ever be their turn.

Does this resonate with you? If so, this article may be a source of encouragement and hope.

Answers to the question, “Will I ever get married?”

One answer is that it depends on how much effort you are willing to put into dating and looking for a potential partner.

Finding a mate is not a passive process. A romance that leads to a lasting marriage often takes purposeful effort. It means socializing and interacting with people rather than living an isolated life. One way is to pursue hobbies or activities where you are most likely to meet people who share similar values and interests as you do and that could potentially lead to a meaningful relationship.

Another answer is that just because it has not happened yet does not mean that it never will. Being single and trying to find love can be difficult and frustrating, but it does not make you less of a person, nor is it a reflection of how undesirable you are.

Decide what characteristics are most important to you in a marriage partner and look for someone who meets the criteria. Date with intentionality, and without compromising or being willing to settle on important issues. Being married to the right person is more important than just being married.

The only way to guarantee you’ll never get married is to stop trying and do nothing about it.

Myths versus facts about marriage

Myth number one is that marriage opens the door to happiness. Even though marriage can and often does contribute to happiness, simply being married does not. Marriage involves give and take, patience, and self-sacrifice. Even the best of marriages will contain some degree of tribulation that can interfere with the positive aspects of your relationship.

Another myth is that marriage is a guaranteed cure for loneliness. It is not. It is your feelings of connectedness with your spouse that keep you from being lonely. If that is missing, you will feel alone even though they are physically present.

A third myth is that marriage is an escape from restrictions and family problems. Marriage also entails responsibilities that can limit your freedom, especially when you have children.

Things to do while you wait

Know that marriage is a big part of life, but it is not everything. There are many other ways to find happiness, fulfillment, and success other than having a spouse. Often, when you stop focusing on the negatives or trying to force something to happen, things fall into perfect place on their own.

Make sure you are ready to get married and don’t just want to do so just because you feel you should or because it’s what your friends are doing. Marriage is a big commitment that you should not feel pressured to jump into.

Don’t be in a hurry just to get paired up with someone. It is much more important to wait until you find the right person who you want to spend the rest of your life with and wind up with a marriage that lasts than to rush into something that won’t.

Use this time for growth and to become more spiritually and emotionally mature. Work on personal qualities that will make you a good spouse, such as patience, grace, and the ability to forgive, as well as being hard-working, responsible, respectful, and considerate.

If you would like support as you deal with the challenges of dating and relationships and would like to set up an appointment to meet with one of the faith-based counselors in our online directory, please give us a call.