Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners.

When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones.

It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness.

That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too.

Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health.

That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety.

Some relationship advice for women

Your relationships matter, and you should prioritize them. When it comes to relationships, what matters most is not their quantity, but rather their quality.

You can have plenty of friends or family members, but if the relationships you’re in are toxic or unhealthy, that can be far worse than simply being alone. Being in unhealthy relationships taxes your emotional, physical, and mental health, and that’s why it’s important to ensure that your relationships are in a good place.

Beyond that, it’s important to place your relationships in their appropriate place. As important as your relationships with people are, your identity and ultimate worth reside in Jesus. As Paul writes, “Your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-4, NIV). Draw your sense of self from Christ so that your relationships occupy the appropriate place in your life and don’t become idols. Here are some tips to help you promote the health of your relationships.

Be available

One great piece of relationship advice for women is that you can’t build meaningful connections with people if you aren’t available for them. “Availability” not only includes being present for people when they need you, but it also refers to being emotionally available. When you’re with people, they should know that you’re with them. A good deal of this has to do with being an empathetic listener who lets people feel heard.

If you’re in a room with someone and they are talking to you, it’s good for you to put away distractions like your phone, give them some good eye contact, and ask great questions to dig a little deeper. Showing interest in others helps to let them know you care about them. Without emotionally investing yourself in others, relationships don’t flourish.

Being available doesn’t mean that you do all the work in the relationship (that would be deeply unhealthy), but it does mean you put work in to prioritize the people in your life.

Be real

Another piece of relationship advice for women is to be real. People will often try to fake it till they make it, and that goes for their professional lives as well as in personal relationships. Don’t pretend you have an interest in something if you don’t, because that just leads to pain down the road for the people involved.

Being honest with people about yourself may include being honest about your likes and dislikes, not feigning interest when you don’t feel it, and being okay with not being okay.

Of course, you have to be wise about how and with whom you are vulnerable, but when circumstances and the relationship allows, you shouldn’t smile if you feel like the world is falling apart. Some relationships have space for you to be raw, real, and messy, and you should embrace those.

It can take time to build those kinds of connections, but the path to getting there is being real in the little things so that whatever connection you form is genuine from the start. It can take a little time to find your tribe, but when you do the relationship will be deeper and richer because of your genuineness.

Expect some hardship and conflict

Whether in your family, with a friend, or with your romantic interest, no relationship is devoid of crisis or areas of conflict. It’s unrealistic to think you won’t fight with a person you like or love. It’s also unhealthy for you not to be able to handle conflict well.

Sometimes, fights can become ugly because the people in the situation resort to character assassination. They may struggle to regulate their emotions or not know how to de-escalate tension in a situation. Conflict resolution is a key skill in any relationship, and it’s wise to enter any relationship with the awareness that relationships can get difficult without you needing to exit at the first sign of trouble.

Forgiveness goes a long way

A key piece of relationship advice for women relates to forgiveness. Just as conflict will likely occur in any relationship and conflict resolution is an important skill to learn, it’s also important to know how to forgive others. Women don’t have a monopoly on holding grudges, but holding onto hurt and radiating that hurt onto other future relationships often ensnares women.

Instead of having grudges and holding onto hatred for a person that’s wronged you, let it go. Forgive them and release yourself from the cage of anger and disappointment with them. Leave them in the Lord’s hands and let Him deal with them. You need to stay on task (Romans 12:14-21).

Know what you want and know your boundaries

Each person must take charge of themselves and be accountable for their own choices. You are unique and have your own needs, goals, hopes, and so on. It’s okay to know what you want and to pursue it. Some people are willing to come along for the ride, but others aren’t. That’s okay – the important thing is whether you’re loving God and loving others as you pursue the Lord.

Knowing your boundaries can help you prevent unhealthy dynamics in your relationships such as codependency. In whatever relationship you’re in, setting and maintaining godly and healthy boundaries as well as respecting the boundaries of others is a good way to love others and create space for them to love you well. Don’t shy away from asserting your boundaries, whether it’s about money, sex, time, or any other area of your life.

Be willing to walk away

While relationships are a gift from God, it is often the best gifts from God that make the most compelling idols. Your relationships matter, and you ought to do your best to live at peace with others and be gentle with them (Philippians 4:5; 1 Peter 3:8-22).

Wisdom is a virtue, and part of handling relationships well is knowing when it’s time to take a break or walk away entirely. Sometimes, friendships, parent-child relationships, romantic relationships, etc., can be highly toxic. Staying in that situation may put your life in danger or undermine your and their well-being in other ways.

Stepping aside or inviting others into the situation may be the best thing in a season of a relationship. Don’t value relationships so much that you’re willing to destroy yourself to hold onto one. Sometimes, walking away will stop you from settling for someone who isn’t honoring you, and this is vitally important in your dating life.

Get help

Unhealthy relationships drain one’s vitality, joy, and confidence to engage life in its fullness. Some relationship dynamics are complex, and our reactions to them are deeply enmeshed in unhealthy responses and attitudes. You might struggle to untangle those dynamics or understand why you react the way you do. Sometimes, we all need a little help to understand what’s gone wrong in a relationship and get wisdom about how to fix it.

Help can come in the form of a professional counselor who can help you unpack your thoughts and emotions as you delve into the issue. Sometimes what’s affecting us, and our relationships is rooted in the past, and at times we’re just trapped in ways of thinking that sabotage our relationships. Your counselor can help you discern these patterns and give you tools to nurture healthy relationships with others.

Next steps

Your relationships are important, and they have a huge impact on your well-being. People with deep and meaningful connections to family, friends, or their community tend to be physically healthier, happier, and live longer, and they often have fewer mental health problems than people who are not connected as well.

Relationships and their benefits are not rooted in the number of friends or connections you have, and it’s not about whether you’re in a committed romantic relationship. What counts is the quality of your close relationships because living in constant conflict or within a toxic relationship is more damaging than being alone. This is where relationship advice for women comes in.

If you have difficulties or struggles in your relationships, including forming and maintaining them, reach out and speak to a counselor who will walk with you.