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Summary
Our lives are defined by our relationships, and out of the bounty of one’s relationship with God flows flourishing throughout our lives. He is always close to us, but we can choose whether we want to be closer to God.
Through Jesus Christ, we can know God and walk in humble obedience with Him as we follow the lead of the Holy Spirit. Even when we encounter tough times, we can continue to walk closely with God and grow to become the kind of people He wants us to be.
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- What does it mean to get closer to God?
- Why being closer to God matters.
- How to begin getting closer to God.
- Am I walking closely with God?
- What do you do if you’re struggling to connect with God?
- Frequently Asked Questions.
1. Introduction
Getting to know someone doesn’t happen overnight. It takes loads of time and shared experiences to get to know and trust them. This goes for platonic and romantic relationships, and it also applies to how we relate to God.
Whether you’re simply curious about how intimacy with God works, or you’re serious about discovering how to grow closer to God, this article will help you on your journey. You may even have been journeying with God for a while, and need to remind yourself of the basics that get lost in the shuffle of daily life.
2. What does it mean to get closer to God?
God already knows you. God knows you better than you know yourself, and nothing that you say, do, think, or feel is surprising to Him. Psalm 139 begins this way:
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. – Ps. 139:1-12, NIV
God created us, and He created everything that is in existence – we cannot surprise Him, nor can we ever flee from His presence. What this means is that the question is not whether God knows you or is present in your life; the question is whether you know Him and are in a close relationship with Him.
“Righteousness” is one of those fancy Bible words that we don’t often use in daily language. When we use it, it’s often pejorative. However, what the Bible means when it uses the word is to say having a “right relationship” or being in “right standing” with someone. “Righteousness” is a word about relationships with others.
Having the right relationship with God rests firstly in acknowledging that God is God and that you are not. The good news about God’s kingdom begins with the bad news that we have all decided to turn away from God and become our own judges of what is right, good, and true. As one ancient prophet wrote, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Is. 53:6, NIV)
Getting closer to God is about drawing near to Him to get to know Him and to have a relationship that is appropriate between ourselves as beloved creations and Him as the loving Creator.
3. Why being closer to God matters.
If God created the world and everything in it, and He knows us better than we know ourselves, then getting to know Him is the only way for us to come to a true knowledge of ourselves and our purpose. One Christian who lived in the late 4th and early 5th century AD wrote an extended prayer that begins thus:
Can any praise be worthy of the Lord’s majesty? How magnificent His strength! How inscrutable His wisdom! Man is one of Your creatures, Lord, and his instinct is to praise you. He bears about him the mark of death, the sign of his own sin, to remind him that You thwart the proud. But still, since he is a part of Your creation, he wishes to praise You. The thought of You stirs him so deeply that he cannot be content unless he praises You, because You made us for Yourself and our hearts find no peace until they rest in You – St Augustine, Confessions
Being close to God matters because we can only find our peace when we rest in Him. After all, God created us for Himself, and for us to enjoy Him. We can try to fill our lives with diversions and pleasures, but they only serve to dehumanize us and distract us from what truly matters. In his prayer, Augustine is merely echoing what some of the Bible writers had penned centuries before, such as these verses below:
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73:25-26, ESV
As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? – Ps. 42:1-2, ESV
What we truly long for is God. He is our true home and our true rest. Anything else that promises that is a shabby imitation, whether it’s money, sex, power, or fame. These things may appear to bring life, but they only steal our true joy.
Speaking to His followers and His opponents, Jesus said “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10, ESV). Many things, including false teachers and the Accuser, himself, that we typically call the devil – come to steal, kill, and destroy. But Jesus came into the world so that we could have true, deep, everlasting life.
What exactly is this eternal life? Later on, when speaking to His disciples, Jesus said “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3, ESV).
4. How to begin getting closer to God.
Getting closer to God isn’t exactly something one can put into a strict formula that if you follow you’ll arrive at a specific level of intimacy. Your relationship with God is just that – a relationship.
Like your other relationships, there are general guidelines that help in promoting the health and vibrancy of that connection, but it’s nothing quite like a formula. There are a few key ingredients to any healthy relationship, such as spending time together, being thoughtful and kind toward one another, and communicating meaningfully.
Though there are those key ingredients that make any relationship flourish, like any relationship, don’t do things in a rote way because you simply want the outcome, like a husband who only buys flowers because he thinks it’ll result in sexual intimacy later that night. Intentionality matters. You can begin to get closer to God in the following ways:
Believe in Him. If you have doubts about God, the Bible, or the miracles, don’t just sit with those doubts and stand far off. There are many good books and resources out there that provide compelling arguments for faith, like C.S. Lewis’ classic Mere Christianity.
Remember, faith is not believing in something when there is no evidence but taking a step of trust in light of the evidence. Part of the whole point of the Bible is that it is a testimony about what God has done and why He is to be believed. “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. – 1 Timothy 1:15, NIV), wrote Paul to his protégé Timothy.
Paul also wrote that “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9, NIV). Start here, by believing the good news or gospel of salvation. And having started with the gospel, continue with the gospel. Don’t start trying to do good things to earn God’s favor.
Pray and fast. Prayer reminds us that we are dependent on God and that everything we have comes from Him. We are to pray always without giving up (Luke 18:1-8). There are many examples of prayer in the Bible, from prayers of confession, thanksgiving, petition, lament, and so much more. Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, and the prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is a great place to start.
Fasting helps us rein in our bodily appetites, and we can use times of fasting to draw near to God through prayer. Jesus speaks about fasting in Matthew 6:16-18, and there are examples of fasting in Esther, Daniel, and other books of the Bible. It’s important to be wise with fasting, particularly if you have a medical condition that doesn’t allow you to refrain from food and drink.
Immerse yourself in Scripture. From what has come before and what will come after, it should become clear how important it is to know the Bible. In it is everything one needs to live a godly life (2 Tim. 3:16). That’s where you’ll find God’s promises, read stories that show you God’s character, and grow to understand the world and yourself as well as what it means to be faithful amid challenges.
Get into a community and stay in it. Getting closer to God has solo elements to it, but it isn’t a solo endeavor. The Church, the community of God’s people, was always the plan from day 1. When the Holy Spirit came, the believers were drawn into fellowship with one another, and not into isolated enclaves (Acts 2:41-47; Heb. 10:24-25).
It’s in community that we can fulfill the many “one another’s” in the Bible – “forgive one another”; “show hospitality to one another”; “bear one another’s burdens”, and so on. Read good books and listen to podcasts that encourage community, help you to take the Bible seriously, and love others wisely.
Be obedient. A right relationship with God entails recognizing that He is Lord, and our lives are His to direct. We want that because under His care we will truly flourish. That means we should be obedient to Him. Jesus said, “Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (John 14:21, NIV).
For example, Jesus urges us to forgive others (Matt. 6:12, Eph. 4:32). We are to serve others, be generous, be humble, not love money and remain content, honor our marriages, remain sexually pure out of respect for our bodies as the Lord’s temple, love that neighbor we find unlovable, and so on (Heb. 13:4-5; Phil. 2:3-15; 1 Cor. 6:9-20).
Do it not because it’ll get you a reward, or because people will think you’re nice – do it out of love for the Lord and because this is the kind of human being He’s shaping you to become.
Cultivate practices that help draw you closer to God. Like gratitude, walking in nature to observe God’s creation (Ps. 19), or journaling and reflecting on how God is working in your life.
Confess and repent when you sin. These verses make clear what we are to do when we fall short of God’s standards:
If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. – 1 John 1:6-10, NIV
5. Am I walking closely with God?
How do I know if I’m on the right path and am walking closely with God? Put another way, how do I know if I’m far from God? For one thing, just because you’re walking closely with God, that doesn’t mean everything will be well with you. Following Jesus isn’t a passport to health and wealth and popularity.
Paul reminds Timothy that “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim, 3:12). If Jesus faced opposition and persecution, why wouldn’t His followers? On the other hand, just because things are going well with you financially and otherwise doesn’t mean that you’re close to God (Ps. 73).
There are a few questions to ask yourself such as “Where am I investing my time and energy?” “What is my life tending toward?” “Am I growing in loving God and others better?” “Love” is such a loose term that gets defined in a thousand different ways in our culture.
Biblical love, as 1 Cor. 13 reminds us, has standards, and we see it demonstrated fully in Jesus Christ who gave Himself up for us to save us from our sins while we were His enemies (Rom. 5:8). Gal. 5:13-26 lists the ways one can tell if their life is in step with God or not.
A life marked by envy, sexual immorality, drunkenness, fits of rage, selfish ambition, and so on is one that’s dominated by our human nature, and not by the Spirit of God. A life that is marked by joy, kindness, self-control, faithfulness, etc., is in step with the Spirit. Be honest with yourself about your life and draw closer to God through repentance if need be.
6. What do you do if you’re struggling to connect with God?
It’s important to know how to get closer to God, and at no other time is that more important than when you’re struggling to connect with God. Maybe it feels like your prayers aren’t being heard. Perhaps you’re angry with God because of circumstances in your life or the lives of your loved ones. It’s possible to remain close to God in these situations even if you don’t feel warm toward God.
You can continue to show up with an eager expectation of meeting with God and of being transformed even when you don’t feel like it. Make no mistake – Jesus isn’t easy to follow; He calls us to die to ourselves, to yield our lives to Him, and to follow Him (Mark 8:34-38).
Every instinct within us seeks self-preservation, but Jesus calls us toward self-giving love like His, and to trust His leading. That’s not easy. Some of His early disciples left when He gave them a particularly difficult teaching; the others who remained were equally puzzled, but they had landed on a crucial thing the others hadn’t – as hard as it may be to follow Jesus, there’s nowhere else to find true life, and salvation can’t be found anywhere else either (Acts 4:12).
As we read, “‘You do not want to leave too, do you?’ Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.’” (John 6:67-69, NIV).
If you’re struggling to connect with God, don’t become cynical or begin despairing. Seasons of hardship come. Reach out to God through prayers of lament (Ps. 13, for example), or talk with friends or a professional such as a licensed Christian counselor.
Sometimes our seasons of hardship come because of our own actions and their negative consequences (Ps. 32). At other times, the reality of living in a broken world crashes in on us, and we find ourselves groaning and yearning for God to intervene (Rom. 8:18-39). Know that even in those seasons, the Spirit of God is with you, groaning, and praying for you when you can’t.
7. Frequently Asked Questions
As with most things to do with relationships, intentionality is key. When you get up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Often, our first task is to allow ourselves to be bombarded by our to-do list. Maybe starting the day with prayer is a helpful way to remind yourself that all of life belongs to God and that even the fact of being awake that morning is a gift.
Martin Luther, a German pastor from the 16th century once said, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.” Three hours may be out of reach for most of us, but his point remains – if we truly believe Jesus’ words that “apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5, NIV), how can we move throughout our day without prayer and reflecting on God’s words to us?
We are always living our lives in the presence of God, as Psalm 139 tells us. Sometimes, simply reminding yourself of this truth helps you draw nearer to God for joy, strength, and wisdom.
To know God and to know Jesus Christ is eternal life (John 17:3). To know Jesus, pick up and read the Bible prayerfully, with humility, and a willingness to learn and grow. Listen closely and obey as the Holy Spirit leads, because a key part of knowing and loving Jesus is obeying Him as Lord (John 14:21). This isn’t a solo journey, though. Join with others in reading the Bible, either in a group Bible study, or an online reading plan. Others can help keep you accountable.
God gives grace to the humble, and He resists the proud (1 Peter 5:5). Come to God with the recognition that you need help, that you don’t know everything, and that without God you can do nothing (John 15:5). Remain open and sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, Who will lead you into the things that please God and away from the things that please your sinful desires (Galatians 5:13-25).
Listen, pray, do. Listen to God’s voice, by reading Scripture, reading good books that help you understand God better, by walking in nature and reflecting on God’s goodness and power, by spending time with believers more mature than you. Pray to God, whether prayers of praise, lament, intercession, confession, or petition. Prayer reshapes our hearts and desires. Scan through Scripture to see examples of how godly people prayed. Lastly, do. Jesus says wisdom is about listening to His words and then putting them into practice (Matthew 7:24-27). Doing God’s will by the power of the Holy Spirit helps us draw near to God (John 14:21).
Having faith in God is about trusting that God is who He says He is, and then living your life accordingly. “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9, NIV).
Being with God transforms you; it certainly changed the early disciples (Acts 4: 13). What you desire, the things that get you excited are changed as you see life more and more from God’s perspective. You’ll also become more aware of your sin, and desire even more to walk away from the things that displease God. You’ll grow in deeper appreciation of God’s grace, and become a more loving, patient, courageous, self-controlled person (Galatians 5: 13-25).
Recognize that you need God, and that you need His grace and mercy (Romans 10: 9; 1 Peter 5:5). He never turns away those that seek Him with a humble heart and desire to know Him. No matter how long you’ve known God, this remains true.
Don’t give up trying to connect with Him through reading His Word, prayer, and fellowship with others. All relationships go through seasons of struggle, including your relationship with God. Persevere in seeking Him (Luke 18:1-9).
Your life gets transformed, in obvious ways, but also imperceptibly. Maybe you’re a bit more patient, more loving toward others, are less selfish with your time, more discerning with how you use your body, you’re less fractious and angry, you’re more joyful and hopeful (Galatians 5: 13-25). In other words, you start to look more and more like Jesus, and you will likely also face opposition and hardship too (John 15:18-25; 2 Timothy 3:12).
There is nowhere that we can go where God cannot find us (Psalm 139). We always live our lives before Him, but we can choose to turn away from Him. When you do this, the signs of it are that you’ll live life to please yourself, and you’ll desire things other than God as well as things that displease God. But you can always turn back, confess, and walk in the light with God (1 John 1: 5-10). Always.
Salvation and life can’t be found anywhere except in God (Acts 4:12, John 17:3). It’s from God that everything pleasing, good, pure, and beautiful comes, and staying close to God allows us to have life to the full (James 1: 17; John 10:10; Galatians 5:13-25).
References:
Confessions, St. Augustine
Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
“Praying”, Courtesy of Fa Barboza, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Pray”, Courtesy of Olivia Snow, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Walking on the Beach”, Courtesy of David Monje, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Open Bible”, Courtesy of Sixteen Miles Out, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Devotions Outdoors”, Courtesy of Timothy Eberly, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Comfort from the Word”, Courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Prayer”, Courtesy of Rosie Fraser, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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Kate Motaung: AuthorKate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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