Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

If you’re not able to trust someone, there’s little foundation for a meaningful relationship with them. Trust, just like mutual respect, good communication, and love, are the key ingredients in a healthy relationship. When trust is lacking, the relationship is in a bit of a bind because it will likely lack depth and intimacy. That’s because you need to trust someone before you can be vulnerable with them. Trust issues interfere with this.

What is trust?

When you say you trust someone, you’re making a claim about their reliability. You can rely on their words, and you can rely on the fact that their actions have reasonable and good motivation behind them. Trust allows you to have a conversation with someone without wondering if they have a hidden agenda that will harm you. Trust is also what allows you to share yourself and be vulnerable with other people.

Trust between two people develops in various ways. Often, when you spend time with someone, you get to observe them. They build a history of saying and doing things, and you can see for yourself if what they say and do match up or contradict one another.

Over time, they show themselves to be dependable, and worthy of being taken at their word because they have demonstrated their character. You can be vulnerable with someone you trust, and that strengthens and deepens the relationship.

In other situations, we trust people because someone we know and whose judgment we value trusts them. That’s one reason you go on a blind date with someone a trusted friend recommends.

Sometimes, we trust people because they possess certain qualities that make them seem trustworthy. In other cases, we trust people because we have no choice but to take them at their word. That trust may be rewarded, but it can also be undermined.

The little foxes that undermine trust

Trust issues in relationships develop for a variety of reasons. Some of these include:

The person breaks their word by not doing what they said they would

This would encompass situations such as infidelity in a marriage, someone not showing up as promised, or an expectation not being met. In such cases, trust may need to be earned back, and the untrustworthy person needs to demonstrate their reliability.

Disappointment in other relationships

Sometimes, people lose trust not because the person in front of them has failed to keep their word, but because someone else did. You might struggle to trust your significant other because of something a previous partner did.

There just hasn’t been enough time

Trust takes time to cultivate. It takes time to have enough experience with someone to regard them as trustworthy. If you just haven’t spent enough time to develop trust, it shouldn’t be surprising that trust is absent.

You just struggle to trust

Connected with past disappointments and hurts, experiences in childhood such as abuse or neglect can make it difficult to trust other people, even if they are legitimate and have impeccable character.

Overcoming trust issues

Overcoming trust issues takes deliberate effort and risk. Sometimes, you need to take a leap of faith to trust someone and be vulnerable with them. When that step is rewarded, that can embolden further steps of faith and trust. If you start small, and you remain open to other people, you can grow to overcome your trust issues and share more of yourself with other people.

Cultivating trust can also be a matter of overcoming your prejudices and past hurt, as well as being willing to try something new. Instead of holding onto past hurt and avoiding trust in new situations, it’s possible to learn from your past while looking ahead to the possibilities that exist in new relationships.

There may be unhelpful patterns of thought or behavior that keep you locked in distrust and fearful of getting hurt; these need to be discerned and uprooted.

One way of moving forward in your journey toward trust is to provide the other person with opportunities to rectify any breaches of trust. Forgiving the other person and allowing them to earn your trust back should be an option you’re willing to explore.

With help from a professional such as a counselor at Plano Christian Counseling in Texas, you can explore the reasons for your distrust, and discover ways to remain wisely open to others to get the most out of your relationships.

If you struggle with trusting other people, don’t allow that to continue unabated. Your relationships can be enriched through healthy trust toward others. Seek help from a counselor at Plano Christian Counseling in Texas who can help you overcome trust issues and move you toward healthy relationships.