Codependency Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T08:26:49+00:00April 17th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is often rooted in a childhood experience that has created an idea of who you are. For example, “I am worthy if I make this person smile or happy.” Then you develop ways that you have found work to make others happy or smile; for example, jokes, acting silly, getting good grades, not being late, working hard, and being the peacemaker. As we continue life using these ways to manage the uncomfortable feeling of rejection instead of understanding why we have this excessive need to please others, we can become overwhelmed and exhausted. It would seem to be a natural way to find a way to manage an uncomfortable feeling and make the encounter more comfortable. Perhaps you can think of a time when a parent, friend, or spouse became angry or sad and you sensed either their sadness or anger. Plano Christian Counseling can help you better understand emotional responses—your own and others’—and provide faith-based tools for healthy emotional regulation and relationship support. How does codependency work? Some may think they best manage the uncomfortable situation by avoiding the person. Or they may realize the situation becomes more manageable [...]

How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T09:27:47+00:00April 10th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you think about relationships, do those thoughts come with warm and welcoming feelings, or are you left feeling on edge? People don’t experience relationships the same way, and how you interact with others and form relationships is influenced by your earliest interactions with others. Depending on what those interactions were like then, you may have trouble forming healthy relationships with people now. How a person relates to others and forms connections is called an attachment style. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one type of attachment style, and it has a significant impact on relationships. Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style A person’s attachment style develops early in life, especially during childhood and early adolescence. Your attachment style can change later in life, but many of your main patterns of relating to others are set early on. Plano Christian Counseling provides faith-based guidance to help individuals understand their attachment styles and build healthier, more secure relationships. We form secure attachments when our parents or caregivers provide consistent and reliable care. A secure attachment means a child feels secure and knows their parents or caregivers will meet their needs. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one of several insecure attachment styles. The anxious-avoidant style is a combination of an anxious and an avoidant attachment style. An anxious style is marked by fear of being abandoned. While desiring closeness, there’s a sensitivity toward rejection. An anxious style is often associated with low self-esteem and the fear of not being wanted around. On the other hand, an avoidant style will often involve being self-reliant and creating emotional distance from others. Being close to others may even feel uncomfortable for a person with an avoidant attachment style, and such individuals often don’t seek support from others. While having people around them, the person with an avoidant style [...]

Preventing Codependency in Marriage

Jennifer Kooshian2025-04-01T15:37:04+00:00November 17th, 2023|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A healthy and balanced marriage relationship may be the goal, but it isn’t always easy. One way you can create and maintain a healthy relationship is by preventing codependency in marriage. By working with your spouse, you can develop a healthy love and care for one another while maintaining the unique characteristics God gave you. Avoiding codependency will help ensure that each person’s feelings are respected, and their needs are met. Healthy marriage tips to avoid codependency in marriage. As you strive for a healthy marriage, you can implement the strategies below. It will help you and your partner foster independence and maintain individual identities as you nurture your marriage. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based marriage counseling to help couples navigate challenges, improve communication, and cultivate a Christ-centered relationship. Communication is key. Strive to have open and honest communication with your partner. Prioritize discussing your feelings, needs, and concerns regularly. As you do this be sure that both partners feel heard and understood. Set and respect boundaries. Boundaries are part of healthy relationships. Seek to establish clear, loving boundaries in your relationship. As you recognize that each person has their own needs and feelings, you make each person feel respected and loved. When this happens, you can build a stronger relationship. Prioritize self-care. Self-care benefits both people in a marriage. Encourage one another to engage in self-care activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This helps both people function well, enabling them to love one another better. Maintain individual interests and friendships. Everyone has their own passions and interests. Make time and space for pursuing these. Even friendships and social connections outside of your marriage are good for you. Communicate well about it and avoid keeping secrets from one another to foster a healthy relationship as you do [...]

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