Coaching Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2024-12-09T11:07:37+00:00December 6th, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured|

When we’re feeling nostalgic, it’s tempting to say that things were simpler, better, or easier in the past. Often, parents of adolescents find themselves saying this as they consider the brave new world their children are navigating and trying to make sense of. It can be scary, and nostalgia can be a form of retreat. There’s nothing wrong with nostalgia; however, it can paralyze you in the present or blind you from seeing the beauty and opportunities that exist in the present. When it comes to social media, many folks would rather things were simpler for their own sake or for the sake of their kids. There are some good reasons for this, but a more productive approach is to gain a better understanding of how to make the best use of these tools. The Various Uses of Social Media Social media is a relatively young invention. Throughout the last few decades, there have been different iterations of the same idea of connecting human beings to each other and giving them a platform to share themselves and what they care about. We are deeply social creatures, which was by God’s design. As the internet has created a space to share ideas across the globe, social media has grown apace to meet that need. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2 Depending on the platform, the intention behind many social media applications is for individuals to be able to share whatever they find interesting, and for other people to interact with what’s been shared. It’s taking what we do in our everyday in-person interactions, and then scaling that up so that we’re communicating with a global audience. Instead of telling the person you’re with how much you’re enjoying your vacation, [...]

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6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

Wade Van Staden2024-09-27T10:06:14+00:00July 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A failure to use effective communication in relationships means a failure to connect with others. It’s one thing to be aware of these intimacy gaps in our relationships, but it’s not always easy knowing how to bridge them. 6 Tips for Better Communication Here are six tips for better communication in relationships: Check in by asking questions When we have communication breakdowns, we begin to experience distance from our partner because we have stopped being intentional in connecting with them. Every relationship has a rhythm that incorporates work, family, friends, and pressures. These things have a habit of stealing our energy and focus. Before we realize it, we have been swept up in the rhythm of life like a current dragging us away from our significant other. It might seem odd to share personal space with someone each day and still have to ask a question like, “How are you doing?” but that is one effective way of reconnecting with your partner. It’s a case of putting off obligations, making time to be alone together, giving each other your full attention, and checking in. When we feel valued and safe, the conversation should flow effortlessly. Pay attention People communicate with more than words. There is as much meaning in the things we don’t say as in the things we do. A partner who is struggling with something and responds with a simple, “I’m fine” when asked, might be communicating that they are too overwhelmed to express themselves fully. That kind of guarded communication might come across as dismissive and it can be hurtful. We must ask ourselves what is behind their attitude, and pay attention to things like body language, mood, and eye contact. Accept differences The old saying that opposites attract is often accurate. On one hand, we [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:38+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:51+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

The phrase “men’s issues” is often used as a blanket term in psychotherapy. However, the term wraps around significant health concerns for men, and treating them should be taken seriously. Unfortunately, because so many men’s issues are interrelated to each other, it can be difficult for men to seek treatment. Here are four reasons men’s issues go untreated and how you can encourage the men in your life to seek help. Men’s issues may start small Many men don’t instantly when they need to seek treatment. Whether it’s difficulty controlling their anger in healthy ways or a tendency to become stressed when under pressure, men often assume this is normal and will get better. They may think, “I just need to get out and play a round of golf, and I’ll feel better.” Likewise, a glass of alcohol every evening could slowly turn into two, but they rationalize it, reasoning that it is fine because they know they’re stressed at work and also feeling pressure to pitch in more at home. However, because men’s issues tend to overlap, what seems like “the usual” stress load may be far greater – and all-encompassing – than a man realizes. For example, stress at work can come and go for anyone, man, or woman. However, when stress at work is added to a struggle with his role at work and home, it compounds the pressure a man may feel. These men’s issues can easily escalate if he is also faced with aging parents, a teenager with mood struggles or poor academic results, looming college expenses, or a transition in his spouse’s role, whether she works inside or outside the home. Any one of these can cause stress, but men may carry the load in one area without recognizing the load they’re also [...]

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How to Recognize Signs of Autism in the Workplace and Provide Support

How to Recognize Signs of Autism in the Workplace and Provide Support

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T11:51:27+00:00May 17th, 2024|Autism Spectrum Disorder, Coaching, Featured, Professional Development|

Adults with high-functioning autism tend to be quite competent workers but require structure and routine at work. They also struggle with social and communication skills and have trouble fitting in. This article will discuss signs of autism in the workplace. People with autism can have excellent memories, outstanding mathematical and technical skills, and thrive in areas that require focus, precision, and attention to detail. The way their brains process information can be a great asset to the workplace when they are in the right position and receive the right support. Recognizing signs of autism in the workplace Repetitive behaviors Autistic people may use repetitive behaviors such as bouncing their leg, rocking back and forth, snapping their fingers, or repeatedly standing up and sitting back down as a way of self-soothing and coping with uncomfortable situations when stressed. Difficulty fitting in Social interactions are stressful for autistic people. They are uncomfortable making eye contact and have trouble following back-and-forth conversations or understanding and responding to nonverbal cues such as facial expressions or body language. Limited interests Autistic people are fixated on certain subjects and may have exceptional skills in certain areas, which they talk about at length, but have little or no interest in anything else. Struggle with teamwork Autistic people like to be in control of the tasks they are working on and are uncomfortable working in a team setting. They prefer to work on their own. Sensory challenges Extreme sensitivity to light, sounds, smells, or tactile sensations is common for autistic people. They may, for instance, find sounds overwhelming that others can barely hear or be distracted by the cycling of fluorescent lights. Uncomfortable with change Autistic people function well when their work is structured and they can follow a predictable routine, but they have trouble adapting to [...]

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4 Reasons Why Group Counseling Can Help More than You Think

4 Reasons Why Group Counseling Can Help More than You Think

Brooke Turbyfill2024-09-27T10:07:22+00:00April 17th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Group Counseling|

Group counseling may be something you have seen in movies. Perhaps you have known a person who underwent in-patient care and then did group counseling as part of their overall treatment plan. Group counseling can be an effective way to treat many struggles that are common in today’s society. Here are four unique features group counseling brings. Group counseling can de-stigmatize mental health issues Even though many cultures have come a long way, not every person’s cultural or familial background supports a healthy view of counseling. They may see it as a weakness or as something that only crazy people need. Others may simply view counseling as a tool for those who cannot solve their problems, such as marital struggles or addiction issues. However, group counseling can be a benefit for anyone who is hesitant to see an individual counselor or who just does not know where to begin. It gives them a place to see that other everyday people just like them are also reaching out for help. The care and respect demonstrated in a group counseling environment will often help someone who is hesitant about individual counseling. Because they get a chance to meet people whose needs are being met, they are growing and thriving. Counseling itself becomes less of a barrier for a person to imagine seeing themselves benefit from. It can remove the shame associated with specific struggles Because of the individual nature of counseling in one-on-one environments, your therapist cannot tell you that she has another client dealing with the same thing you are. But if you attend a few group counseling sessions, for example, for your struggle with anxiety, you will learn that you are not the only one. It can be freeing and empowering to learn that others are going through the [...]

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Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:30+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what you thought you knew. Your belief has not necessarily been proven false. It may just be that you [...]

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4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T11:57:38+00:00November 29th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You know that you want to improve certain aspects of your life, be it career or personal. You've researched coaches and found one that seems to be the right fit. Now you want to get the most out of your time together. How can you make sure you have an effective coaching experience? Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. – Colossians 3:23, NIV 4 Tips for an Effective Coaching Experience 1. Have definable goals. You may go into your coaching sessions with some big goals, and maybe even some specific goals, early in your time with a coach you want to make clear, definable goals for your time together and apart. Effective coaching will help you determine the best sequence of dreams and make smaller milestones toward the big goal you are trying to achieve. Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – St. Francis of Assisi 2. Set deadlines or milestones. These could be private and rather arbitrary, but by setting a deadline you create the pressure you need to achieve the results you want. The deadlines can be milestones or stepping stones. Examples include: “By the end of the week, I will…” or “In three months I need to finish…” Finding an approach that works for you can help you maximize the effectiveness of your coaching experience. Have a plan to celebrate those milestones. Maybe you watch a TV show after you accomplish your goal for the week. Perhaps you plan a coffee date with a friend after a certain deadline. Deadlines can be used to reward as well as drive you toward your goals. “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” – Nelson Mandela [...]

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Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T11:58:27+00:00August 15th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

At times, the world can appear as a warm, lively place, brimming with possibility. At other times, it seems cold and full of loneliness. Jesus was fully aware of these contradictions and complexities in the world He entered as well as the one in which we currently live. As the stairway between God and humans, He came to redeem the lost connection (John 1:51). While it seems that many would embrace His gift of sacrifice and salvation, others rejected Him. In a matter of days, those who cheered Him, shouting Hosanna, countered their initial cries, insisting on His crucifixion (Mark 11:9-10; 15:13-14). The pain of rejection is real, and it can produce a feeling of “otherness,” a loneliness that the APA characterizes as affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary. Yet, this jumbled assortment of experience and emotion doesn’t cancel us out of the books that are written about us in Heaven (Psalm 56:8). As the Everlasting Father, God committed to developing us into all He envisioned us to be. The challenge is we may have discounted ourselves because we agreed with those who rejected us. If rejection’s message of disapproval, denial of attention, and love influenced us in childhood or vulnerable times, we may have come to believe that those negative words were true. Jesus knows the range of conflicts we experience in our emotions as He was fully God and human during the time of His earthly ministry. Scripture describes Him as well-acquainted with sorrows and grief, to the degree that people hid their faces from Him (Isaiah 53:3). The prophet Isaiah’s description of the Messiah sounds like someone we can identify with when it comes to rejection and the loneliness that may play a role in [...]

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7 Ways to Increase Your Motivation

7 Ways to Increase Your Motivation

Kate Motaung2024-10-23T13:01:36+00:00January 31st, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

We all have goals that we’d like to realize in our lives. Despite this, many of us face challenges along the way as we work toward our objectives. We either do not have the motivation to get started, we do not have the energy to get started, or we do not know where to start. We put things off or come up with excuses. Then, we are harsh on ourselves, labeling ourselves as “lazy” or “slackers.” When we are feeling stuck or have been idling for an excessive amount of time, sometimes all we need is a jump-start or one or two strategies to boost our motivation. 7 Ways to Increase Your Motivation Here are some suggestions that have stood the test of time: 1. Prepare a timer for 15 minutes to boost motivation. You’re probably familiar with the pile of laundry that just emerged from the dryer and has to be folded. Or what about the dishes that suddenly materialized in the sink? Make it a personal challenge instead of wishing in the back of your mind that those things would go away, and turn it into a game. Put a fifteen-minute timer on yourself and see how much you can get done in that little amount of time. When you’re up against the clock, you might be amazed at how many tasks you can finish in a short amount of time. This is especially true when you’re trying to beat the clock. Knowing that there is a finish line to the work is also helpful. It won’t take more than a quarter of an hour to finish. Or, by that time, you will have deceived yourself into continuing the task, telling yourself that you are making good progress and that you would prefer to finish everything rather [...]

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