Ashlynn Barnette, Plano Christian Counseling

How Depression Affects the Whole You: Mind, Body, and Spirit

How Depression Affects the Whole You: Mind, Body, and Spirit

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2026-01-13T06:51:21+00:00January 13th, 2026|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Depression can seem daunting and intense, even scary. Perhaps you’ve wondered whether you or a loved one struggles with depression. Understanding how depression can present and the effects it can have can prove to be empowering.Symptoms of DepressionMaybe you’ve been asked a series of questions by a doctor or provider to determine if depressive symptoms are present. Some common depressive symptoms include:Little interest or pleasure in doing thingsExcessive tiredness/exhaustionLack of appetite or overeatingFeelings of sadnessHopelessnessDifficulty sleeping or sleeping too muchNegative self-talk/self-esteemDifficulty concentratingAbnormal movement cadenceSuicidal tendencySome additional symptoms can be social isolation, lack of motivation, irritability, negative self-talk, negative thoughts about others, or the world. It is important to note that the presence of any of these symptoms does not automatically mean you are depressed.The Whole YouMind, body, spirit – multiple intricate parts make up the whole you. Our Creator made us “fearfully and wonderfully” (Psalm 139:14) in our mother’s womb. Anyone who has studied the human body and all its intricacies can conclude that the body works together to achieve homeostasis.Consider how a “problem” or “issue” in one part of you can affect others. It is common to hear how a defective or weak part of the body can negatively impact another part of the body entirely. The same can be true with mental illness. As we examine the symptoms of depression, let’s look at how other areas of our lives may be feeling the toll as well.The MindDepression can be a result of improper brain functionality, whether it be a “hardware” or “software” issue. Let’s think of “hardware” as the biological components of the brain and “software” as the thoughts. Both can be contributors to symptoms of depression.Our thoughts can have a direct impact on our mood/emotions, physiological responses, and behavior. Additionally, our thoughts can form neural pathways over [...]

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Fighting Negative Body Image

Fighting Negative Body Image

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-12-20T06:39:45+00:00December 22nd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Perfect bodies. Perfect hair. Perfect clothing. Everywhere we look, we see society’s ideals of beauty and health. Yet, these ideals are unrealistic. Often, images are edited, filtered, touched up, or created by AI. But the outcome can leave us feeling inadequate and unattractive. Negative body image results in low self-esteem, poor self-confidence, and a dislike of the body and appearance. We stop taking opportunities because of self-consciousness. However, you can learn to fight negative body image and boost body positivity. What is negative body image? Negative body image is how you perceive yourself, often comparing yourself to others or society’s ideals, or listening to judgmental voices of other people. Negative body image can have a major impact on a person’s mental health. It can trigger anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and a loss of confidence. People with a negative body image may also find it difficult to maintain relationships, especially intimate ones. They may form toxic relationships or distance themselves from their spouse because they feel uncomfortable. Negative body image also contributes to extreme behavior, such as looking at oneself in the mirror excessively and having extreme or numerous cosmetic surgeries to attain a particular look. Even after all of these changes, an individual with negative body image may still feel unattractive. Overcoming negative body image requires acknowledging that there may be something missing, some deeper reason behind the thoughts and fears. Boost positive body image To overcome negative body image, we need to boost positive body image. A positive body image appreciates the body that you have, right now. It acknowledges the body’s capabilities and usefulness. It also makes us more aware of who we are aside from our appearance. When you appreciate your body for where it is now, you feel a sense of confidence and worth. You [...]

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Bible Verses About Worry: Finding Support from Scripture When You’re Feeling Anxious

Bible Verses About Worry: Finding Support from Scripture When You’re Feeling Anxious

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-10-16T06:43:30+00:00October 16th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Worry and anxiety have always been a part of the human condition. They were one of the first things Jesus addressed in his Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:25-34). Paul and other New Testament writers referenced worry and anxiety throughout the epistles (Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Peter 5:7). Anxiety disorders have become extremely prevalent. Whether it is that diagnoses are becoming more common, the ever-present 24-hour news cycle, constant social media updates, doomscrolling, or other factors, anxiety is flourishing in today’s culture. In 2019, about 15% of U.S. adults reported having anxiety issues. By 2022, that number had risen to 18% (U.S. News & World Report). In 2024, 43% of Americans said they had higher anxiety than the year before. No matter the cause, it’s clear that anxiety rates are continuing to rise, and people are becoming more self-aware of their struggles. As Christians, we may wonder – what does the Bible say about worry? Does it address the human condition of anxiety? Some people say that worry is a sin, and this can make someone who struggles with chronic worrying, panic, or fear feel even more defeated than before. The truth is, it is possible for worry to be sinful. Sometimes worry signifies a lack of trust in God. Are we doubting His goodness? Do we have a lack of confidence in His faithfulness? Are we worrying because we feel that the cares of the world are on our shoulders instead of His? Do we struggle with unbelief? It’s important to remember, though, that pain, fear, worry, and anxiety are not just sins – they are part of our broken human condition because of the fall. At the same time, brokenness does not always equate to sin. Just think of the many ways our physical bodies can be broken [...]

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7 Ideas for Building Self-Esteem

7 Ideas for Building Self-Esteem

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-07-05T05:42:53+00:00July 7th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

If you have felt out of sorts lately, it may have to do with your self-esteem. Factors such as bullying, abuse, trauma, negative self-talk, neglect, or prejudice can contribute to low self-esteem. Building self-esteem is critical for your emotional and mental well-being. Why Building Self-Esteem is Critical Although several factors can lead to low self-esteem, knowing who you are and how valuable you are to yourself, your loved ones, your community, and God is the basis of a healthy mental state. When you value yourself and perceive your worth, you build emotional resilience and do not feel as pressured by societal ideals. If your self-esteem is low, then you might: Compromise on your values. Stay in a toxic relationship. Compare yourself to others. Make rash decisions or struggle to make commitments. Never take risks. Struggle with body image, depression, and anxiety. Struggle to achieve goals. Let yourself go, including personal hygiene and health. Building self-esteem will positively affect your physical, emotional, and mental health. As you realize that you were made in the image and likeness of God, the belief that you are a co-heir to Christ’s kingdom and a son or daughter of the King, your confidence will soar. What if low self-esteem were no longer a barrier, and you knew in your heart that opportunities were available to you and doors were open that no man could shut if it were God’s will? Start by building self-esteem and shifting your mindset and beliefs. Ideas for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem takes practice. You may need to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations, mantras, and beliefs. You will need to challenge your own thoughts and limiting beliefs. Your behavior will need to change to reflect confidence by adopting new actions. Although not mentioned in the list below, reading and [...]

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The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-06-12T10:05:21+00:00June 12th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Emotions are a big part of how you experience your life. They shape the way you see the world, make decisions, and react to the ups and downs of life. But what can happen is that emotions take charge and trick you into thinking things that aren’t true. If you let them, they can twist your thoughts, making situations seem worse than they are. This is called distorted thinking, and it probably happens to you more than you’d think. Distorted emotions are like a filter, and through it, everything seems darker and more difficult than it really is. You can have a small argument with a friend, and then an emotional response will make you think, “They don’t care about me,” even when there’s no proof. These kinds of thoughts feel real at the moment, but they’re not the truth; they’re just emotions blurring reality. With some awareness of how your brain may conjure up this wrong way of thinking, it’s possible to spot these patterns, and then you can change them. Why do you have emotions? Emotions come from a part of your brain called the amygdala. It’s the one that helps you respond to things around you. These emotional responses are part of what keeps you safe and balanced. The amygdala normally processes feelings like fear and anger, where chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin create sensations of either happiness or sadness. These emotions are the brain’s way of helping us respond quickly to the world around us. This is the way your brain knows, for example, that fear signals danger, and joy means something good is around. Through it all, the brain is supposed to remain in charge of your thoughts by rationalizing and balancing your reactions with what is real. Everyone experiences emotional highs and [...]

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What is EMDR Therapy?

What is EMDR Therapy?

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-05-27T06:56:37+00:00May 27th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma affects people differently. Some people are affected in such a way that they need extensive treatment for their mental health issues. Traumatic situations can create memories that cause people to have a variety of mental issues, such as PTSD. One type of therapy that is becoming more widely used is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, or EMDR. If you’re wondering, “What is EMDR therapy?” this article is for you. This method of therapy for trauma revolves around eye movements as you process memories of traumatic experiences. The main goal of this treatment is to help you heal from those experiences and move toward better mental health. The most helpful aspect of EMDR is that it is based on the body rather than just talking about the problem. This can be helpful for those who are affected by PTSD, panic disorders, depression, and anxiety. How does EMDR help with PTSD? To understand how EMDR can help PTSD, you need to understand what PTSD is and how it affects people. PTSD is one of the most common mental health issues related to trauma. There are thousands of people who deal with post-traumatic stress disorder each day. PTSD was at one time associated with combat veterans but has been expanded to include those who have experienced a serious event such as rape, terrorist act, sex trafficking, natural disaster, or serious accident and injury. Those who suffer from PTSD usually show signs of having flashbacks and may seem detached from people. They do not want to be around any situation or person that may remind them of the traumatic event. To overcome these feelings and behaviors, those with PTSD may engage in therapy with a counselor who is trained to understand PTSD and its effects. In addition to these therapies, medication [...]

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The Link Between Abandonment Trauma and Vulnerability

The Link Between Abandonment Trauma and Vulnerability

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-05-20T09:35:44+00:00May 20th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Most of us have one or two close friends to whom we can open up, even though we might default to bottling things up and dealing with struggles alone. Vulnerability is a risk that requires us to trust someone else with personal information, not unlike an animal exposing its belly to potential predators. We might not have realized it, but there is often a link between our struggles with letting our guard down and abandonment trauma. As tricky as vulnerability can be, it is a skill that we can learn and practice. However, we might have to confront the abandonment trauma we have experienced before we can learn to trust others. The Lonely Child The first person we learn to trust in life is the parent we are closest to. We tell them about our day at school and the things we learned, and we ask them questions about the world around us. Their openness and availability provide a safe place in which we can learn, grow, and feel valued. However, not every child has this kind of bond with an adult. Others experience moments of closeness and intimacy with their parents, followed by times when they are distant and closed off. Some children learn to be self-reliant at a young age. This is a survival tactic; they are learning to cope with the trauma that comes from neglect or abandonment. A parent might be physically present in their child’s life, performing all the tasks that a parent should, but emotionally distant from them. When a parent fails to show concern and interest in their children’s lives, their kids will learn that their experiences, fears, preferences, and accomplishments are meaningless. Some children appear to be resilient on the outside, while on the inside, they are lonely and scared, always [...]

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How to Begin Dealing with Abandonment Wounds

How to Begin Dealing with Abandonment Wounds

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-09-30T12:44:23+00:00April 22nd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Abandonment wounds are difficult to deal with because we often don’t realize we have them. We sustain these wounds from childhood, and they remain with us as adults. They affect many different parts of our lives and relationships, shaping the way we feel about ourselves and the things we believe about others. It is possible to identify where our abandonment wound is and how it’s affecting us. As we begin to confront our beliefs and behaviors connected to our wounds, we will find ways to overcome them and free ourselves from fear and mistrust. Where It All Begins Sometimes, it helps to relive our past and talk about our childhood experiences. Certain events that we go through as children leave us feeling unsafe and uncertain. Adults, and our parents especially, are supposed to make us feel seen, heard, understood, and safe, but sadly, not every parent manages to do this. There could be many ways that we felt neglected, abandoned, or even betrayed by our parents, whether they were aware of their behavior or not. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals process childhood wounds and move toward healing and restoration. The relationships we have with our parents in childhood affect the connections we make as adults. If we feel unsafe and uncertain as children, the chances are we are going to struggle with trusting others in our adult friendships and relationships. If we were left yearning for a stronger bond with our parents or wished they had been more constant in their care of us, we might be clingy and insecure in our adult connections. We might never have framed our parents’ actions as neglectful or damaging, but we still find ourselves triggered by certain things as adults. Sometimes, these triggers are small, like an [...]

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Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:01:59+00:00February 25th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Ever find it hard to forgive yourself? Or asked how to forgive yourself? You are not alone. Forgiveness itself can be a difficult task. Even the band Chicago devoted a whole song about it Hard To Say I’m Sorry. Self-forgiveness can seem impossible and hopeless but when achieved it produces healing and freedom. The inability to forgive yourself can cause some significant issues. Shame Shame is the reason why forgiving yourself can seem impossible. Behind shame is a negative core belief of “I am bad.” A negative core belief is something that we believe to be true but is not. Walking around with this belief can lead to feelings of insecurity and behaviors that go along with it. Plano Christian Counseling can help you break free from shame, embrace self-forgiveness, and find healing through faith-based support. It can be difficult to recognize when shame is tainting your view, but damaging, nonetheless. Shame says “You don’t deserve forgiveness.” or “You are not worthy of forgiveness.” These thoughts from shame can cause you to feel stuck. Imagine shame as a dark prison cell – dark because shame festers and grows in darkness. Darkness allows for secrecy so others will not learn the lie that shame has told you (“You are bad.”) Shame festers in this darkness by convincing you “Oh if he/she only knew…” which causes you to feel isolated. The prison cell bars are the lies shame tells you that keep you locked in. Walking aimlessly, desperately searching for a way out of pitch-black darkness. So how can you overcome shame and free yourself from the dark prison cell? First, we need some light. Humbly ask the Light of the World, Jesus, into your cell (1 John 1:5). Don’t feel hesitant, because the truth is He already knows. Ask Him [...]

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