Kate Motaung, Plano Christian Counseling

How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2024-12-20T05:37:08+00:00December 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When two people are in a relationship with each other, they have the opportunity to open themselves up to each other and build up a history of fruitful and positive interactions. If you accumulate enough of these positive and fruitful interactions with a person, that usually allows you to continue being open to them, and avoid trust issues. Trusting other people with pieces of ourselves isn’t an easy thing. For one thing, not everyone is trustworthy, and it isn’t always easy to let other people into our inner world. If there are trust issues in a relationship, such as in a marriage, between friends, colleagues, or family members, it makes that situation difficult to navigate. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 What causes trust issues in a relationship? But what lies at the root of trust issues in a relationship? Many possible causes can account for why trust never blossomed in a relationship, or why the trust that existed in a relationship has faltered or been lost and is now hard to recover. Emotional vulnerability with another person is a fragile thing, and so it can be both hard to form a bond of trust, and [...]

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A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2024-12-09T11:07:37+00:00December 6th, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured|

When we’re feeling nostalgic, it’s tempting to say that things were simpler, better, or easier in the past. Often, parents of adolescents find themselves saying this as they consider the brave new world their children are navigating and trying to make sense of. It can be scary, and nostalgia can be a form of retreat. There’s nothing wrong with nostalgia; however, it can paralyze you in the present or blind you from seeing the beauty and opportunities that exist in the present. When it comes to social media, many folks would rather things were simpler for their own sake or for the sake of their kids. There are some good reasons for this, but a more productive approach is to gain a better understanding of how to make the best use of these tools. The Various Uses of Social Media Social media is a relatively young invention. Throughout the last few decades, there have been different iterations of the same idea of connecting human beings to each other and giving them a platform to share themselves and what they care about. We are deeply social creatures, which was by God’s design. As the internet has created a space to share ideas across the globe, social media has grown apace to meet that need. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2 Depending on the platform, the intention behind many social media applications is for individuals to be able to share whatever they find interesting, and for other people to interact with what’s been shared. It’s taking what we do in our everyday in-person interactions, and then scaling that up so that we’re communicating with a global audience. Instead of telling the person you’re with how much you’re enjoying your vacation, [...]

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Do You Have the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

Do You Have the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:01+00:00November 8th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

You may have heard about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in the past regarding children, but were you aware that adults can also live with this mental condition? Many children with ADHD eventually outgrow it, but about 60% of individuals still have adult ADHD. Symptoms of adult ADHD Do you often question why you struggle with a short attention span, listening to others, or impatience? These are some common symptoms of adult ADHD: Fidgeting and an inability to sit still Hyperactivity is a core component of ADHD, although someone can have the condition without restlessness. As a child, your teachers may have told your parents that you were always on the move or could not sit still. Impulsiveness Impulsiveness and risky behaviors, such as driving recklessly, speeding, and having one-night stands, are symptoms that can lead to broken relationships and trouble with the law. Interrupting others Interrupting others and being unable to wait your turn are hallmarks of ADHD in adults. For example, you may have trouble waiting patiently in line at the grocery store or doctor’s office. In addition, you may become belligerent if you feel that others are being seen first. Racing thoughts Your thoughts may jump from one subject to the next rapidly, and people might complain that you talk too fast. This is one of the reasons you interrupt others; you want to voice your thoughts before you lose them to another topic. Starting projects and not completing them Your parents, spouse, or boss might complain about you starting projects only to abandon them at the halfway point. You may lose interest or become distracted by a new project. Inability to focus and concentrate As your mind skips around from topic to topic, you will find it is harder to focus on tasks. Multitasking is [...]

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Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:40+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety. Some relationship advice for women Your relationships matter, and you [...]

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PTSD Help: Causes and Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD Help: Causes and Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:45:47+00:00October 26th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Daily, there are shocking occurrences happening all around us. We read about them on the news, or as stories that friends, neighbors, or other loved ones share in person or on social media. At times, we ourselves might be witnesses of such events. If these events are frightening, or if there is a real threat of harm involved in them, they could result in trauma leading to PTSD, at which point PTSD help would be in order. Trauma is a person’s emotional response to shocking or frightening events. That response might initially be numbness or a sense of being overwhelmed. Over time, a person can work through the emotions and thoughts associated with the event, finding healing and a sense of peace. However, if the symptoms of trauma linger and perhaps intensify over time, it may be post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Causes of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD is the mental health condition that results when a person sees, experiences, or hears about a traumatic event. A traumatic event can be anything from going through a serious and life-threatening illness, a difficult childbirth experience, being threatened with a weapon, a car accident, or the death of a loved one. Likewise, it can include a natural disaster, kidnapping, sexual assault, being in a combat zone, or being a victim of terrorist activity. It is not known for certain what causes PTSD, because two people may experience a similar or the same traumatic event, and one person may develop PTSD, while the other does not. A person may be at greater risk of developing PTSD as a result of the severity of the traumatic experience. Other factors that may play a role in causing PTSD include your genetics and the prevalence of mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety in your [...]

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The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:53+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Some days you can find yourself going through a tough time and wrestle with naming what’s happening to you. If you’re struggling with something and not feeling like yourself, it can affect everything around you, from your relationships to your work, and even your enjoyment of everyday activities. It can even mean not showing up for others and yourself the way you’d want to. Being able to identify symptoms of depression helps you to address it effectively. An experience that’s common to many Americans of every age and from every walk of life is depression. Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of loss, sadness, and numbness to things that used to bring joy like hobbies or being with loved ones. Depression is more than just a bout of sadness; it affects how a person feels, thinks, and behaves. As a result, it can lead to having trouble with doing day-to-day tasks and enjoying life. Depression can also leave you feeling as though life isn’t worth living, and it’s not something that you simply “snap out” of or “get over”. If this is something that a loved one or you’re going through, it’s important to be able to recognize the signs of it, so that you can find the appropriate help. Symptoms of depression It isn’t being too dramatic to say that knowing what the signs and symptoms of depression are can be a life-or-death matter. Some of the symptoms of depression are so serious that they are life-threatening, and recognizing what’s going on, and then proceeding to take appropriate action is invaluable. If you see these signs and symptoms in yourself or a loved one, go to a health professional such as a doctor or a counselor to get help. The signs and symptoms of depression [...]

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Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:11+00:00August 19th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Whether you intentionally search or aimlessly scroll, you will find evidence of anxiety fingerprinted on the web or anywhere you can find people. Internet ads, reels, or posts reveal the idolatrous heart of our society, often expressed as the fear of missing out. We have become so addicted to doing more and outdoing one other that we have coined a new phrase for it - FOMO. Fear of missing out, or FOMO, may offer a fresh name, but it is a timeworn issue. It is anxiety derived from trying to keep up with others’ activities and the fear that one is missing out if they do not also do that activity or have the coveted thing that everybody has. Instead of living richly and in contentment with the abundance that God has given to our hands, we compete and compare instead. Fear and anxiety drain us of the goodness that God has gifted us. We consume time, money, energy, and other resources to keep up with appearances and to match or exceed the experiences of others. Instead of feeling fulfilled, a person feels bankrupt, with nothing left to devote to God and no joy in the gifts acquired. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world. – 1 John 2:16, ESV Anxiety: fixated on fear Too often, we decide our value based on the external trappings of this world. We wrongly assign our worth, often comparing ourselves with any and everyone, close or unfamiliar. Peering through the windows of other people’s lives, we somehow believe that we are missing something. Unaware of others’ internal struggles and challenges, we make assumptions and judgments. Yet, [...]

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Teaching Your Children Safe and Healthy Ways to Use Social Media Platforms

Teaching Your Children Safe and Healthy Ways to Use Social Media Platforms

Vanessa Gross, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:31:36+00:00August 8th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Parenting has always been a daunting task, but with the advent of social media platforms and hyper-connectivity changing the social landscape, parental guidelines are getting even blurrier. It has become imperative for parents to be vigilant regarding the challenges the younger generation faces each day online. Knowing the amount of time your child spends on social media According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, kids ages eight to eighteen spend, on average, a whopping seven and a half hours on a screen for entertainment each day, four and a half hours of which are spent watching TV. Over the course of a year, that adds up to 114 full days watching a screen for fun. In effect, this means that children spend almost half of their waking hours each year engaged in online activities. Networks like TikTok, X, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Facebook are designed not only to grab your attention but also to maintain your continued interest. In these first few months of 2024, the American government has been up-in-arms with TikTok over its controversial new TikTok-Lite promotional incentive that seeks to reward its users with gift packs for spending more time on the site. That means people will be paid to spend more time online, with potentially catastrophic consequences for their mental health. Children spending even more time on leading social media platforms like TikTok means the problems caused by excessive use of the internet are only exacerbated. How social media platforms can endanger children’s well-being In this day and age, the long-held moral stance of simply forbidding kids from socially immoral places to keep them safe is no longer enough to keep them safe or protected. Con artists, criminals, and every form of predator are now just a click away each time your [...]

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Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:24+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes us in triumph when we commit to saying what He says about us, by faith, not necessarily our feelings. When we do, angels hear and follow [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:38+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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