Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

What to Do When You Have an Anxiety Attack at Night

, 2026-03-27T06:53:05+00:00March 27th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Having an anxiety attack, especially at night when you’re trying to sleep, can be frustrating, scary, and hard to manage. But there’s always hope, ways to work through it, and get the help you need. Keep reading below to learn a few. The Paradox of Acceptance This might sound strange, but the first step when having an anxiety attack is to accept that you’re having an anxiety attack. I know it’s easy and tempting to want to resist the experience or try to convince yourself you’re feeling “fine” when you’re not. Doing so can lead to prolonging the experience and/or even making it worse. Many try to force themselves to go back to sleep, which usually leads to tossing and turning and even more frustration. This can prolong the negative experience by spending so much time and energy trying not to feel what we’re already feeling, forcing our eyes to stay shut while the minutes and hours pass by, feeling the same or even worse. Also, many who are suffering from anxiety will use external sources such as media, food, or even addictive and destructive processes, attempting to numb or get rid of the feelings. It might initially feel like it’s working, yet sooner or later, those feelings will return with greater force. Also, it can produce guilt or even shame over how we responded to those uncomfortable emotions. This is why when you accept how you feel, you’ll be more able to take action, making things better as opposed to worse. Writing It out As a Way of Working It Out Anxiety can feel overwhelming with increased heart rate, shortness of breath, tension in the body, and a mind racing so fast we can’t even keep up. When we can give all that excitement a task, it can [...]

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What is an Anxiety Attack, and What Should I Do if I Have One?

, 2026-03-26T06:43:51+00:00March 26th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

What is anxiety? It is a feeling of nervousness, anticipation with uncertainty, or fear. Anxiety often creates a physical response. Common physical symptoms are sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, muscle tension, shakiness, increased heart rate, and sometimes increased breathing rate. The word anxiety comes from the Latin angere, meaning to choke or squeeze. Strangely, this is exactly what can happen in our brains when we feel under threat or danger, whether it is real or imagined. When we are relaxed and calm, more blood goes to the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for functions like self-control and decision-making. However, during an anxiety attack, blood flow is reduced to the prefrontal cortex and increased to the amygdala, resulting in our emotional response being disproportionate to the stimulus. The amygdala is responsible for the detection and response to threats. Fear triggers a distress signal to the hypothalamus, and then adrenocorticotropic hormones are sent to the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and cortisol. This stress response allows for energy to be converted quickly because anxiety often leads to a fight or flight response. However, often there is no need to fight or flee, and we are overwhelmed with anxiety when this energy is just held in the body. Our body is “hijacked,” and physical symptoms occur. Anxiety attacks can be triggered by reminders of past trauma, or they can occur for no apparent reason. The Bible offers comfort and guidance for anxiety as God knew that it is something we would struggle with. Several scriptures specifically address anxiety. I Peter 5:7 reminds us to cast all of our anxieties on Jesus because he cares for us. Philippians 4: 6-7 reminds us not to be anxious about anything, but in everything be in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let our requests be [...]

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Mindfulness Breathing Exercises to Reduce Stress

, 2026-03-25T06:19:18+00:00March 25th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Stress is part of our daily life and negatively impacts our physical and mental health. Mindfulness breathing is a technique that everyone can learn that reduces the impact of stress. There are many different breathing techniques. "Breathe Deep", Courtesy of Darius Bashar, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; How does mindful breathing help reduce the impact of stress? Breathing is an automatic function that seems simple, and we don’t even have to think about it. However, learning specific breathing exercises, thinking about and managing breathing further expands the benefit of breathing from just keeping us alive to improving our mental and physical health. Mindful breathing can increase the oxygen levels in our brain, lower our blood pressure, improve overall circulation, and calm our nervous system. Our breathing is such a powerful tool for battling stress and anxiety because it connects us to the presence of God. In the Bible, the Greek word “pneuma” is used to signify God’s life-giving power, humanity's mortality, and the Holy Spirit. In Genesis 2:7, it is noted that God formed man and breathed into him the breath of life, and man became a living being. In Job 32:8, it notes there is a spirit in people, the breath of the Almighty within them, that makes them intelligent. Isaiah 42:5 notes that God gives breath to everyone on earth. There are many different breathing exercises, and all are effective, so it’s important to find the one that works best for you or find several in order to keep the variety available for you. Basic Mindful Breathing Get comfortable by sitting or standing and loosening tight clothes. Remove distractions. Turn off the TV and your phone. Close your eyes. Start by just noticing your breath, don’t force it, just be aware of the air coming in and going out [...]

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Child Behavioral Therapist: Frequently Asked Questions

, 2026-03-18T06:14:19+00:00March 18th, 2026|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Child behavioral therapists are trained mental health professionals who specialize in helping children deal with emotional and behavioral challenges to learn how to function more effectively. Their overall goal is to strengthen desired behaviors, reduce or eliminate unwanted ones, and improve the child’s overall well-being. They help equip the child with adaptive coping skills that enable them to handle frustration and difficult situations in a healthy manner. How can I tell if my child is going through a phase or needs professional help? It can sometimes be hard to know if your child’s behavior requires professional intervention or if it is just a phase he or she is going through. Almost all young children act out occasionally. Some level of defiance, temper tantrums, and testing of boundaries is a normal part of child development. This is especially true during the toddlerhood stage when children are going through the process of learning to express themselves, gain independence, and assert their wills. More persistent or severe issues, however, such as trouble making or keeping friends, or causing frequent disruptions at school, may require the know-how of a professional. Some red flags that require immediate attention and should not be ignored include sudden, dramatic mood or personality changes; destructive behavior such as breaking things or setting fires; uncontrollable anger over seemingly trivial issues; physical aggression toward others; mistreating animals; self-harm; or acting in ways that are inappropriate for their age. What can a child behavioral therapist do to help? A child behavioral therapist can help improve your child’s unwanted behaviors by: Pinpointing what triggers them and why. Helping him or her identify and modify negative thought patterns. Equipping him or her with the necessary skills to handle frustrating circumstances appropriately. Teaching him or her to manage his or her emotions in healthy [...]

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Avoidance Anxiety in Children: When a Child’s Resistance Isn’t Just a Phase

, 2026-03-17T06:10:19+00:00March 17th, 2026|Anxiety, Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you are the parent of a young child, you’ve probably seen resistance before. Perhaps they’ve started to become reluctant to go to school. With some questions, you learn that it’s not only school that makes them upset. There are changes in the things they enjoy, or you notice things you thought they’d outgrow. Maybe your child refuses to go to a birthday party, has a meltdown before swimming lessons, or suddenly forgets how to do a simple chore they’ve done a hundred times. Your nighttime routine that was working so well isn’t anymore. It is becoming harder and harder for your child to do anything without you by their side. At first, you may brush this off as a bad mood, tantrums, or stubbornness. But if it happens more than a few times, it could be something more. Sometimes, when a child says no to things or avoids something repeatedly, it may be more than them just being stubborn. It could be avoidance anxiety, a type of anxiety when a child feels nervous or unsure about something and tries to stay away from it altogether. Avoiding something might help them feel better in the moment, but it usually makes their worry grow stronger later. This kind of anxiety is harder for parents to understand because it may or may not involve tears or big outbursts. The child simply seems defiant, needy, or unmotivated. Still, it is always worth paying attention to, because the earlier you notice it, the easier it is to help. What is avoidance anxiety in children, and why does it happen? Avoidance anxiety is a way children try to protect themselves. When something feels too scary, confusing or hard, they look for ways to escape and avoid. That could mean pretending to be sick, refusing [...]

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ADHD and Trauma: How They’re Related and Where to Find Support

, 2026-03-04T07:46:54+00:00March 4th, 2026|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can pose some serious challenges. Dealing with trauma and living in its aftermath can also be life-altering. But combining the two -- ADHD and trauma -- can make life even harder. The Intersection of ADHD and Trauma Trauma is inevitable. Relationships shatter, employment ends, and accidents happen. No one is immune to shifting and evolution in their lives. And while these big traumas can impede life for non-neurodivergent people, they can be devastating for those with ADHD. But why does trauma hit so hard for those who have it? ADHD affects the prefrontal cortex, which is the parts of the brain that help with focus, planning, and decision making. ADHD also affects dopamine regulation, which is a chemical messenger in the brain that controls motivation, reward, and emotional responses, making it harder to stay engaged in tasks or maintain consistent focus. Trauma, on the other hand, activates the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system. This makes it hard to think clearly and stay calm. When these two collide, your brain gets stuck between panic and chaos. Can’t Concentrate in a Crisis When a crisis hits, like a car accident, you’ve been hit by a hacker, or a pet has gone missing, one of the most effective ways to mitigate the damage is to keep a level head. If you can think clearly, you can quickly react to the situation with reasonable and actionable steps. You can remember the number for emergency services, think about canceling your credit cards, or be thorough in your search. But if you have ADHD, that level head is as elusive as the crisis is stressful. Your ADHD brain cycles when you’re in a crisis, more than non-neurodivergent people. The logic that you need to respond to the crisis effectively [...]

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Understanding the Effects of Stress Inoculation

, 2026-03-04T07:42:29+00:00March 4th, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Every day life presents an endless flow of pressures that overwhelm even the strongest people. These pressures are deeper than just difficult circumstances. This results in an impossible balance between maintaining composure while genuinely working through the weight of daily challenges. This creates a disconnect between appearance and inner peace, related to a disconnect between wanting to be strong and feeling vulnerable. It becomes necessary to understand what stress inoculation is and how it is essential to navigate these challenges. Each person experiences struggles differently. What works for one person may not work for another, which may leave countless individuals feeling as though they are navigating challenges without proper guidance. Some individuals embrace traditional coping methods, while others reject them entirely. These individuals will feel more isolated than before. Stress inoculation emerges as a method that helps acknowledge the varied experiences and provides structured support for genuine resilience. This approach works similarly to a medical vaccination. The process introduces manageable doses of stress within a controlled environment. The result is that individuals will develop stronger responses to future challenges. Individuals who participate in this approach will learn how to engage with adversity in healthy ways rather than avoid difficult situations. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13, ESV Understanding Stress Inoculation Fundamentals The foundation of stress inoculation rests on the knowledge that avoiding stress entirely is not possible. This stress management approach helps the individual work through a systematic process to build up psychological immunity against challenging situations. This framework draws parallels between physical immunity and mental resilience. There are three phases to this process that work together to create a lasting change. Beginning with the education phase, the individual learns how to understand the effect of stress on their mind and body. They [...]

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What Animals Can Teach Us About Our Coping Skills for Anger

, 2026-03-03T04:35:19+00:00March 3rd, 2026|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Anger is one of those feelings that can just sneak up on you. It might start with something small: a tightening of your jaw, a flash of irritation, a sigh you can’t quite catch. Then suddenly, it’s more than that, and you snap. You find yourself raising your voice or saying something you would never have said to another. There’s no shortage of advice out there on how to manage anger. There are plenty of books, podcasts, and tips out there about managing anger. But one of the most powerful lessons we can learn comes from those who don’t speak with words: animals. There is evidence that animals feel fear, stress, frustration, and danger. Yet they don’t tend to carry that energy around with them the way people often do. A dog might growl at something, then wag its tail a minute later. A bird might squawk and fly away, then go pecking about soon after. Animals don’t replay the moment in their minds or harbor resentment. They feel, they release, they move on. That pattern isn’t just instinct. It’s a natural kind of wisdom, and one we can borrow when building our own coping skills for anger. Why Animals Let Go Faster Than People When an animal senses danger or fear, naturally, it reacts immediately. A cat might hiss, a horse might stomp, a rabbit might dash away. But once the threat has passed, the animal returns to its usual state, calm, curious, restful. They don’t carry that incident in their mind all day. Unlike humans, animals don’t ruminate. They don’t nurse grudges or rehearse arguments in their heads. Their emotional responses are immediate, instinctive, and often followed by a reset. On a basic level, we might say it’s because our minds are more complex, with memory, language, [...]

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Emotional Trauma in Relationships: Causes, Impact, and Finding Healing

, 2026-02-27T05:46:22+00:00February 27th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Different kinds of wounds can be inflicted upon us, and we can inflict wounds upon others. From a young age, we learn that we can get hurt, that our actions have consequences, and that when we get hurt or hurt others, it can take time for healing to happen. Physical wounds are one thing, but emotional trauma is another kind of wound that can cause lasting damage in relationships as well as to a person’s well-being. The playground retort that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words alone won’t hurt me” is one way to respond to the mean things that someone says to you. Sticks and stones cause visible damage, and so the hurt they cause is obvious. However, it isn’t true that words can’t or don’t hurt. Words absolutely hurt, and even callous actions can leave a lasting negative impression. But what is emotional trauma, and how does it impact you? A Wound Beneath the Surface When someone says that they’ve experienced physical trauma, we know to give them a once-over to locate the hurt and then begin the process of treatment. When someone gets hurt in other ways, like emotionally, how do you even begin to know where to look and how to deal with it? Understanding emotional trauma is an important step that will get us closer to knowing what to look for, as well as understanding how it impacts someone. Emotional trauma can be a deep psychological wound that is caused by an experience that overwhelms your ability to cope. Some wounds happen, but you’re able to take it in stride. A colleague makes a snide remark during a work meeting, but you’re able to keep things moving, shrugging it off. There are other times when certain actions or words overwhelm you, [...]

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How Shame Can Make Chemical Dependency Worse

, 2026-02-23T05:24:33+00:00February 23rd, 2026|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

If you are dealing with chemical dependency, or know someone who is, you will know just how life-altering the struggle can be. There will be moments when it feels as if things could not get any worse, but sobriety often hinges on your mental attitude toward the struggle. Chemical dependency is a complex and often deeply rooted issue. The hook keeping most people from making progress on their journey to getting clean is shame. Shame blocks progress both for those dealing with chemical dependency and those supporting loved ones through it. Many aspects of life are affected and made worse when we feel ashamed of ourselves and our choices, but this feeling is almost always present for addicts and those trying to get clean. As you try to combat feelings of shame and failure, it can feel a lot like you are swimming against the tide. However, because shame is so often a component of addiction, it is possible to conquer both. In fact, it is difficult to get free from chemical dependency without also getting free from the shame you carry. The Chemical Dependency Iceberg Most people only begin to understand chemical dependency when they have personally struggled with substance addiction or know someone who has. It is easy to judge the surface of the issue, where it seems as if people continually make unwise choices until an undesirable lifestyle ensnares them. The same people who judge and shame addicts and alcoholics often have hidden dependencies of their own. Their personal dependencies and addictions might be more socially acceptable or even praiseworthy, such as being a workaholic or fitness addict. Meanwhile, they have developed these habits as ways of coping with deeper issues. There are a variety of reasons that people develop a chemical dependency, and none of these [...]

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