Kate Motaung, Plano Christian Counseling

It Takes a Village: The ABCs of Support for Single Parents

It Takes a Village: The ABCs of Support for Single Parents

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T10:30:48+00:00March 25th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

While it may take two to conceive a baby, it often takes a village to raise a child. This African proverb has long been quoted to advise and encourage parents and people around the value of being interdependent. We all need community and viable support systems to do anything meaningful with God and for societal good. This quote’s inherent wisdom reminds us that our children, one of our prized and precious resources, are of such value that we steward them best when we do it together, with shared strengths and support. Heaven’s Help Having help, but also the willingness to receive the help that’s right for us can be transformative. Even in our relationship with God, His Strength becomes most apparent and elevated during our weaknesses. Our needs do not represent an inconvenience for Him, but rather opportunities for Him to Father us. He builds us up not only in our direct relationship with His Holy Spirit but also through the community in which He’s created us to live. As single parents, our journey can get wearisome, but God will send the right people and reveal the right help in the places where we most need it. Life happens to all of us, and sometimes the conditions by which we find ourselves raising children alone can be devastating. We often feel the weight of disillusionment and abandonment, believing that our parenting experience would have been different from our present reality. Some become single parents by choice, and others, by circumstances such as death, divorce, or a partner’s departure. However we arrived, the fact remains that raising a family, whether with or without a co-parent is a tremendous undertaking. In our instinct to cover and protect the children in our care, our own needs often go unattended. We may feel [...]

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Emotional Neglect in Relationships: Why It Happens and How to Remedy It

Emotional Neglect in Relationships: Why It Happens and How to Remedy It

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T08:03:25+00:00March 14th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

The people you are close to play an important role in your life. One of the key predictors of well-being is whether we’re in healthy relationships with others, whether it’s with a spouse, friends, siblings, colleagues, or neighbors. Some relationships will have a deeper and more lasting impact compared to others, but the point is that as relational and social creatures, the health of our relationships is immensely important. If the health of our relationships matters for our well-being, it pays to know why those relationships can go wrong, and how to remedy it. One of the key areas where a relationship can be unhealthy is when emotional neglect is taking place. Emotional Neglect in Relationships Emotional neglect is an unfortunate reality in many relationships. Whether it’s between parents and their children, siblings, or in a romantic relationship, it’s possible for loved ones to experience emotional neglect. Emotional neglect can be understood as a type of abuse. When a person is neglected emotionally, their emotional needs are consistently ignored, dismissed, or disregarded. Plano Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance for individuals experiencing emotional neglect. What adds to the pain of emotional neglect is that the ones who are disregarding or dismissing another’s emotional needs are the same people who carry the responsibility to meet those needs. Partners, caregivers, or parents are responsible to others to meet their needs, and it’s part of what makes the relationship a healthy one. Emotional neglect can take various forms, including minimizing or trivializing the other person’s experiences; being unavailable and unresponsive when called upon; showing little to no interest in the others’ feelings, thoughts, or experiences; not providing reassurance or comfort; ignoring or dismissing the other’s emotions; withholding validation and support; and not acknowledging or apologizing for hurtful or harmful behavior. When [...]

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How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T08:19:38+00:00March 13th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Choosing to share the rest of your life with a person has a profound impact on the rest of your life. When a person gets married, they don’t know exactly what will come their way because life can be unpredictable. Ending a marriage is a big decision, and it can be one of the most painful decisions a person makes in their life. This pain is magnified when divorce and children mix. Dealing With Divorce as an Adult Getting divorced is complicated on several levels. This includes the social, legal, and moral dimensions and implications of the decision. When a person gets divorced, there is a lot they work through to get to that point, but beyond divorce lies other questions, feelings, and thoughts that need to be unpacked. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals navigate these challenges with faith-based support and guidance. Dealing with a divorce in a healthy way requires several things. Take time to heal Marriage joins two people, two lives, together into one. When a man and woman are joined together in marriage, the two become “one flesh”, and they share life. (Genesis 2:24-25, Matthew 19: 4-6) God’s intention is for people to persist in this state of unity. If that unity is broken through a divorce, it is like tearing off a piece of yourself. Your marriage may have been a difficult one, and divorce opened up new vistas, but you should still take the time to heal. Getting a divorce brings an important part of your life to an end. With that is dealing with the absence and loss of a person to whom you had significant emotional and physical ties. Sometimes, what needs to be mourned is the loss of a dream and of the potential your relationship had. That includes the [...]

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5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T09:20:10+00:00March 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

` One of the most critical aspects of our emotional freedom is to forgive those who have hurt us. This is especially true for people who have suffered trauma or abuse. A person with a traumatic past may need the help of forgiveness to move past it and thrive in their lives. However, just because a person has forgiven someone does not mean they need to give them access to their lives. Good Boundaries to Draw With Causers of Trauma Boundaries help people limit access to interaction with them and what they can know about them. A person who wants to protect themselves from suffering trauma again needs to draw proper boundaries with that person. Here are five good boundaries to draw with people who have caused trauma: Time Boundaries Limit the amount of time you spend with a person. If you see that person regularly, limiting the time you spend talking with that person is essential. A person who has subjected you to trauma and is not repentant may quickly come back to that topic and cause you pain and harm by denying the behavior even existed. This can re-trigger the pain you are trying to get past. Furthermore, a person who has subjected you to trauma wants to know more about you. By spending more time with you, they can learn more details about your life. Draw a reasonable time boundary and limit their time with you or your loved ones. Plano Christian Counseling can help you set healthy boundaries and find healing from past trauma. Space Boundaries Similarly, limit or restrict their ability to get close to you. A person who is close to you in proximity can try to hug you or, even worse, abuse you. To protect yourself, you need to draw a space [...]

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Common Questions When Dealing with Grief and the Holidays

Common Questions When Dealing with Grief and the Holidays

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T09:23:16+00:00March 7th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

The holidays, like grief, are a mixed bag of unpredictable events and the emotions that grow from them. Put dealing with grief and important holidays like Christmas together and you have the recipe for a tumultuous and volatile storm of emotions. Throw in the pressure of expectations, family dynamics, financial obligations, dreary weather, and even more and you have a season that can be anything but merry and bright. If you’re struggling this holiday season, you’re not alone. There are a variety of reasons why people struggle during the Christmas season and grieving a lost loved one is often a trigger. So much of the holidays are built on family and friends and love and tradition and when something interrupts those relational bonds, the loss can be significant. So where do you go from here? Tips for Dealing with Grief During the Holidays Here are some ideas on how to make you feel a little merrier this holiday season, even in the midst of your grief. Be Realistic: Understand that the holidays are tough for everyone, especially those who are missing someone special, so be kind to yourself, as you would be kind to others. Know that your experience will be different in those first few years without your loved one. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate support to help you navigate grief and find comfort during the holiday season. It’s impossible to recreate your special moments and duplicate your memories when a key person is missing. Accept this reality as fact and you will have less stress. Instead, focus on moving forward and creating new memorable moments. Keep Expectations In Check: You may be used to an amazing home-cooked dinner and a tree surrounded by gifts from loved ones. That was certainly a nice memory, but it doesn’t have [...]

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How to Cultivate a Positive Body Image In Our Social Media Age

How to Cultivate a Positive Body Image In Our Social Media Age

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T05:54:38+00:00February 27th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Some people are comfortable with who they are, especially when it comes to their bodies. When you gaze at yourself in the mirror, do you like what you see? As winter draws to a close and the summer months set in, do you feel comfortable as you shed those heavy coats and snow boots for t-shirts, shorts, and pool/beach wear? If there’s a camera around, do you feel comfortable and confident to have your picture taken? Our bodies are always with us, and we can have a positive relationship with them or we can have a negative relationship. What shapes our relationship with our bodies, and can it have a negative effect on our overall well-being? Understanding issues about body image is important, particularly when we are constantly bombarded with images that keep us hyperaware and hyper-focused on the bodies of others as well as our own. Definitions The American Psychological Association (APA) describes body image as the mental picture a person forms of their body as a whole, including its physical characteristics and one’s attitudes toward these characteristics. Your body image is how you see your body, how you feel about your body, and the thoughts that come to mind when you’re considering your body. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals develop a healthy and positive body image. You could also say that your body image is the self-talk that you engage in about your body, a sort of ongoing dialogue with yourself. This complex dialogue can also include other people, as you express your feelings and perceptions about your bodies with other people such as your friends or even a stranger helping you find the right size of an article of clothing. We all have thoughts about our bodies and feelings we associate with [...]

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Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:01:59+00:00February 25th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Ever find it hard to forgive yourself? Or asked how to forgive yourself? You are not alone. Forgiveness itself can be a difficult task. Even the band Chicago devoted a whole song about it Hard To Say I’m Sorry. Self-forgiveness can seem impossible and hopeless but when achieved it produces healing and freedom. The inability to forgive yourself can cause some significant issues. Shame Shame is the reason why forgiving yourself can seem impossible. Behind shame is a negative core belief of “I am bad.” A negative core belief is something that we believe to be true but is not. Walking around with this belief can lead to feelings of insecurity and behaviors that go along with it. Plano Christian Counseling can help you break free from shame, embrace self-forgiveness, and find healing through faith-based support. It can be difficult to recognize when shame is tainting your view, but damaging, nonetheless. Shame says “You don’t deserve forgiveness.” or “You are not worthy of forgiveness.” These thoughts from shame can cause you to feel stuck. Imagine shame as a dark prison cell – dark because shame festers and grows in darkness. Darkness allows for secrecy so others will not learn the lie that shame has told you (“You are bad.”) Shame festers in this darkness by convincing you “Oh if he/she only knew…” which causes you to feel isolated. The prison cell bars are the lies shame tells you that keep you locked in. Walking aimlessly, desperately searching for a way out of pitch-black darkness. So how can you overcome shame and free yourself from the dark prison cell? First, we need some light. Humbly ask the Light of the World, Jesus, into your cell (1 John 1:5). Don’t feel hesitant, because the truth is He already knows. Ask Him [...]

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How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:28:26+00:00February 19th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

If you have ever seen a good communicator in the flow of expressing themselves, it can be both an inspiring and discouraging thing to witness. Some people seem to be able to express themselves naturally and effortlessly, while others have a host of issues to overcome. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals build confidence and develop effective communication skills through faith-based guidance and support. The encouraging news is that learning to communicate better is entirely possible; the first step is learning about the barriers that block effective communication. How to Communicate Better by Overcoming Assumptions Words are a small part of communication. People communicate with their personalities, their bodies, and even through silence. We take in and respond to large amounts of information daily without fully realizing that we are wordlessly communicating with those around us. For example, when a coworker who is normally chatty and vibrant comes into work and they are quiet, withdrawn, and disheveled in appearance, they are communicating something without even speaking. We might subconsciously take note of their behavior, body language, and appearance and deduce that they are struggling today. They have communicated something to us. How we treat them in response is us communicating back to them. We might be gracious to them, give them space by not engaging in small talk, or we might take the opportunity to ask them how they are. If we were to observe the changes in them and decide on the reasons for those changes, we would be assuming. It might be a correct assumption, but without asking them simple, non-invasive questions, we won’t know for sure what is going on. Assumptions might be correct, but by leaning on assumptions, we risk being incorrect. There remains a barrier between us and the person we’ve assumed about. Correct [...]

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Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T18:28:21+00:00January 31st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Does the turn of the new year excite you? Do you think about what you want for your future? Or have you been living the same year repeatedly, much like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? You were created for a purpose, and it is not to repeat the same year over again. You can get clear on what you should do with a personal development plan. Why You Need a Personal Development Plan A personal development plan identifies your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It uncovers what you need to learn or do to accomplish your goals. New skills will take you higher than you have ever been before in your personal and professional life. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals create and achieve their personal development goals. The following are more benefits of creating a personal development plan. It motivates you to accomplish goals A personal development plan motivates you to accomplish goals that otherwise might be out of reach. It gets to the bottom of why you want to achieve a specific goal. When the tasks to reach the goal become challenging and you no longer feel motivated, the reason why you chose this goal will motivate you once more. A personal development plan keeps you focused on the reason behind the goal. It teaches you goal setting principles There is an art to setting goals; people who understand the principles and follow through achieve more than those who make vague statements. Anyone can declare that they want to do something, but it will probably never happen if they do not make their goal specific and time bound. It helps identify your strengths and weaknesses To reach the next level, you must honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. You will also need to [...]

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How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T15:21:21+00:00January 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Seeing a person we love going through a hard time is heart-wrenching. We want to do all we can to love them, to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. It is possible in many situations – especially that of a depressed husband – to begin to feel powerless, especially when our presence does not seem to be making a difference. In this and other situations, remember that your empathetic presence by itself can make a difference, and you must hold onto that when it seems otherwise. If your husband is struggling with depression, you may not know how to be that empathetic presence for him. On the other hand, you may wonder if what you are doing is making a difference. Hopefully, the words below will encourage you in your journey with your depressed husband. Supporting a Loved One with Depression Depression is a common mental health problem that afflicts people from all walks of life, all genders, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. It can afflict those whom we may perceive as strong. It is often shocking for many wives to see their husbands bowed down by depression. As with any other condition or situation, one of the first ways you can function as a meaningful support is to understand what it is your husband is dealing with. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help, offering guidance and faith-based support as you navigate this journey together. Depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions in daily life. Something is going on not only in the person’s body but also in their mind and brain chemistry as well. Often, depression is signaled by feelings of intense sadness which last for weeks and months. It can be tempting to think that your depressed husband just [...]

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