Kate Motaung, Plano Christian Counseling

How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T08:19:38+00:00March 13th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Choosing to share the rest of your life with a person has a profound impact on the rest of your life. When a person gets married, they don’t know exactly what will come their way because life can be unpredictable. Ending a marriage is a big decision, and it can be one of the most painful decisions a person makes in their life. This pain is magnified when divorce and children mix. Dealing With Divorce as an Adult Getting divorced is complicated on several levels. This includes the social, legal, and moral dimensions and implications of the decision. When a person gets divorced, there is a lot they work through to get to that point, but beyond divorce lies other questions, feelings, and thoughts that need to be unpacked. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals navigate these challenges with faith-based support and guidance. Dealing with a divorce in a healthy way requires several things. Take time to heal Marriage joins two people, two lives, together into one. When a man and woman are joined together in marriage, the two become “one flesh”, and they share life. (Genesis 2:24-25, Matthew 19: 4-6) God’s intention is for people to persist in this state of unity. If that unity is broken through a divorce, it is like tearing off a piece of yourself. Your marriage may have been a difficult one, and divorce opened up new vistas, but you should still take the time to heal. Getting a divorce brings an important part of your life to an end. With that is dealing with the absence and loss of a person to whom you had significant emotional and physical ties. Sometimes, what needs to be mourned is the loss of a dream and of the potential your relationship had. That includes the [...]

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5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T09:20:10+00:00March 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

` One of the most critical aspects of our emotional freedom is to forgive those who have hurt us. This is especially true for people who have suffered trauma or abuse. A person with a traumatic past may need the help of forgiveness to move past it and thrive in their lives. However, just because a person has forgiven someone does not mean they need to give them access to their lives. Good Boundaries to Draw With Causers of Trauma Boundaries help people limit access to interaction with them and what they can know about them. A person who wants to protect themselves from suffering trauma again needs to draw proper boundaries with that person. Here are five good boundaries to draw with people who have caused trauma: Time Boundaries Limit the amount of time you spend with a person. If you see that person regularly, limiting the time you spend talking with that person is essential. A person who has subjected you to trauma and is not repentant may quickly come back to that topic and cause you pain and harm by denying the behavior even existed. This can re-trigger the pain you are trying to get past. Furthermore, a person who has subjected you to trauma wants to know more about you. By spending more time with you, they can learn more details about your life. Draw a reasonable time boundary and limit their time with you or your loved ones. Plano Christian Counseling can help you set healthy boundaries and find healing from past trauma. Space Boundaries Similarly, limit or restrict their ability to get close to you. A person who is close to you in proximity can try to hug you or, even worse, abuse you. To protect yourself, you need to draw a space [...]

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Common Questions When Dealing with Grief and the Holidays

Common Questions When Dealing with Grief and the Holidays

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T09:23:16+00:00March 7th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

The holidays, like grief, are a mixed bag of unpredictable events and the emotions that grow from them. Put dealing with grief and important holidays like Christmas together and you have the recipe for a tumultuous and volatile storm of emotions. Throw in the pressure of expectations, family dynamics, financial obligations, dreary weather, and even more and you have a season that can be anything but merry and bright. If you’re struggling this holiday season, you’re not alone. There are a variety of reasons why people struggle during the Christmas season and grieving a lost loved one is often a trigger. So much of the holidays are built on family and friends and love and tradition and when something interrupts those relational bonds, the loss can be significant. So where do you go from here? Tips for Dealing with Grief During the Holidays Here are some ideas on how to make you feel a little merrier this holiday season, even in the midst of your grief. Be Realistic: Understand that the holidays are tough for everyone, especially those who are missing someone special, so be kind to yourself, as you would be kind to others. Know that your experience will be different in those first few years without your loved one. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate support to help you navigate grief and find comfort during the holiday season. It’s impossible to recreate your special moments and duplicate your memories when a key person is missing. Accept this reality as fact and you will have less stress. Instead, focus on moving forward and creating new memorable moments. Keep Expectations In Check: You may be used to an amazing home-cooked dinner and a tree surrounded by gifts from loved ones. That was certainly a nice memory, but it doesn’t have [...]

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How to Cultivate a Positive Body Image In Our Social Media Age

How to Cultivate a Positive Body Image In Our Social Media Age

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T05:54:38+00:00February 27th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Some people are comfortable with who they are, especially when it comes to their bodies. When you gaze at yourself in the mirror, do you like what you see? As winter draws to a close and the summer months set in, do you feel comfortable as you shed those heavy coats and snow boots for t-shirts, shorts, and pool/beach wear? If there’s a camera around, do you feel comfortable and confident to have your picture taken? Our bodies are always with us, and we can have a positive relationship with them or we can have a negative relationship. What shapes our relationship with our bodies, and can it have a negative effect on our overall well-being? Understanding issues about body image is important, particularly when we are constantly bombarded with images that keep us hyperaware and hyper-focused on the bodies of others as well as our own. Definitions The American Psychological Association (APA) describes body image as the mental picture a person forms of their body as a whole, including its physical characteristics and one’s attitudes toward these characteristics. Your body image is how you see your body, how you feel about your body, and the thoughts that come to mind when you’re considering your body. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals develop a healthy and positive body image. You could also say that your body image is the self-talk that you engage in about your body, a sort of ongoing dialogue with yourself. This complex dialogue can also include other people, as you express your feelings and perceptions about your bodies with other people such as your friends or even a stranger helping you find the right size of an article of clothing. We all have thoughts about our bodies and feelings we associate with [...]

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Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:01:59+00:00February 25th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Ever find it hard to forgive yourself? Or asked how to forgive yourself? You are not alone. Forgiveness itself can be a difficult task. Even the band Chicago devoted a whole song about it Hard To Say I’m Sorry. Self-forgiveness can seem impossible and hopeless but when achieved it produces healing and freedom. The inability to forgive yourself can cause some significant issues. Shame Shame is the reason why forgiving yourself can seem impossible. Behind shame is a negative core belief of “I am bad.” A negative core belief is something that we believe to be true but is not. Walking around with this belief can lead to feelings of insecurity and behaviors that go along with it. Plano Christian Counseling can help you break free from shame, embrace self-forgiveness, and find healing through faith-based support. It can be difficult to recognize when shame is tainting your view, but damaging, nonetheless. Shame says “You don’t deserve forgiveness.” or “You are not worthy of forgiveness.” These thoughts from shame can cause you to feel stuck. Imagine shame as a dark prison cell – dark because shame festers and grows in darkness. Darkness allows for secrecy so others will not learn the lie that shame has told you (“You are bad.”) Shame festers in this darkness by convincing you “Oh if he/she only knew…” which causes you to feel isolated. The prison cell bars are the lies shame tells you that keep you locked in. Walking aimlessly, desperately searching for a way out of pitch-black darkness. So how can you overcome shame and free yourself from the dark prison cell? First, we need some light. Humbly ask the Light of the World, Jesus, into your cell (1 John 1:5). Don’t feel hesitant, because the truth is He already knows. Ask Him [...]

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How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:28:26+00:00February 19th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

If you have ever seen a good communicator in the flow of expressing themselves, it can be both an inspiring and discouraging thing to witness. Some people seem to be able to express themselves naturally and effortlessly, while others have a host of issues to overcome. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals build confidence and develop effective communication skills through faith-based guidance and support. The encouraging news is that learning to communicate better is entirely possible; the first step is learning about the barriers that block effective communication. How to Communicate Better by Overcoming Assumptions Words are a small part of communication. People communicate with their personalities, their bodies, and even through silence. We take in and respond to large amounts of information daily without fully realizing that we are wordlessly communicating with those around us. For example, when a coworker who is normally chatty and vibrant comes into work and they are quiet, withdrawn, and disheveled in appearance, they are communicating something without even speaking. We might subconsciously take note of their behavior, body language, and appearance and deduce that they are struggling today. They have communicated something to us. How we treat them in response is us communicating back to them. We might be gracious to them, give them space by not engaging in small talk, or we might take the opportunity to ask them how they are. If we were to observe the changes in them and decide on the reasons for those changes, we would be assuming. It might be a correct assumption, but without asking them simple, non-invasive questions, we won’t know for sure what is going on. Assumptions might be correct, but by leaning on assumptions, we risk being incorrect. There remains a barrier between us and the person we’ve assumed about. Correct [...]

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Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T18:28:21+00:00January 31st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Does the turn of the new year excite you? Do you think about what you want for your future? Or have you been living the same year repeatedly, much like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? You were created for a purpose, and it is not to repeat the same year over again. You can get clear on what you should do with a personal development plan. Why You Need a Personal Development Plan A personal development plan identifies your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It uncovers what you need to learn or do to accomplish your goals. New skills will take you higher than you have ever been before in your personal and professional life. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals create and achieve their personal development goals. The following are more benefits of creating a personal development plan. It motivates you to accomplish goals A personal development plan motivates you to accomplish goals that otherwise might be out of reach. It gets to the bottom of why you want to achieve a specific goal. When the tasks to reach the goal become challenging and you no longer feel motivated, the reason why you chose this goal will motivate you once more. A personal development plan keeps you focused on the reason behind the goal. It teaches you goal setting principles There is an art to setting goals; people who understand the principles and follow through achieve more than those who make vague statements. Anyone can declare that they want to do something, but it will probably never happen if they do not make their goal specific and time bound. It helps identify your strengths and weaknesses To reach the next level, you must honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. You will also need to [...]

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How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T15:21:21+00:00January 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Seeing a person we love going through a hard time is heart-wrenching. We want to do all we can to love them, to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. It is possible in many situations – especially that of a depressed husband – to begin to feel powerless, especially when our presence does not seem to be making a difference. In this and other situations, remember that your empathetic presence by itself can make a difference, and you must hold onto that when it seems otherwise. If your husband is struggling with depression, you may not know how to be that empathetic presence for him. On the other hand, you may wonder if what you are doing is making a difference. Hopefully, the words below will encourage you in your journey with your depressed husband. Supporting a Loved One with Depression Depression is a common mental health problem that afflicts people from all walks of life, all genders, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. It can afflict those whom we may perceive as strong. It is often shocking for many wives to see their husbands bowed down by depression. As with any other condition or situation, one of the first ways you can function as a meaningful support is to understand what it is your husband is dealing with. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help, offering guidance and faith-based support as you navigate this journey together. Depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions in daily life. Something is going on not only in the person’s body but also in their mind and brain chemistry as well. Often, depression is signaled by feelings of intense sadness which last for weeks and months. It can be tempting to think that your depressed husband just [...]

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PTSD and Relationships: Coming Alongside Your Loved One with PTSD

PTSD and Relationships: Coming Alongside Your Loved One with PTSD

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T15:29:03+00:00January 3rd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

We all experience feelings of anxiety occasionally; from low levels of stress to sometimes even crushing anxiety. These feelings can vary in intensity and duration and what triggers them will also differ from person to person. For some people, being called upon in class or during a work meeting is terrifying, while for others meeting new people or being in crowds can make them anxious. Therefore, anxiety can ebb and flow depending on circumstances. However, for some individuals, anxiety never lets up. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help, offering compassionate, faith-based support to guide you toward peace and healing. There are times when a person’s anxiety is so bad that it impedes their day-to-day functioning, diminishing their sense of well-being. When anxiety is like this, you should consider visiting a health professional, who can help you understand the reasons for your anxiety and find skills to help you to better manage it. PTSD is one form of anxiety that can affect one’s relationships significantly and lessen your quality of life. The good news is that a trained therapist assist you in lessening the severity of these symptoms. PTSD and Its Causes Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a serious mental health condition that’s caused when a person witnesses or is involved in an extremely stressful or terrifying event that involves actual or threatened death. Sometimes, even when a person learns about such an event and is not directly involved, it could lead to PTSD, which is considered secondary trauma. PTSD can result from events like serious injury, sexual violence, war, physical assault, childhood abuse, traffic accidents, or being threatened with a weapon. It is not altogether clear why some people experience traumatic events and get PTSD, while others do not. At the root of PTSD, there may be a [...]

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How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T16:19:37+00:00December 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When two people are in a relationship with each other, they have the opportunity to open themselves up to each other and build up a history of fruitful and positive interactions. If you accumulate enough of these positive and fruitful interactions with a person, that usually allows you to continue being open to them, and avoid trust issues. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help couples navigate these challenges, rebuild trust, and strengthen their bond through faith-based guidance and support. Trusting other people with pieces of ourselves isn’t an easy thing. For one thing, not everyone is trustworthy, and it isn’t always easy to let other people into our inner world. If there are trust issues in a relationship, such as in a marriage, between friends, colleagues, or family members, it makes that situation difficult to navigate. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 What causes trust issues in a relationship? But what lies at the root of trust issues in a relationship? Many possible causes can account for why trust never blossomed in a relationship, or why the trust that existed in a relationship has faltered or been lost and is now hard to recover. [...]

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