Kate Motaung, Plano Christian Counseling

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:11+00:00August 19th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Whether you intentionally search or aimlessly scroll, you will find evidence of anxiety fingerprinted on the web or anywhere you can find people. Internet ads, reels, or posts reveal the idolatrous heart of our society, often expressed as the fear of missing out. We have become so addicted to doing more and outdoing one other that we have coined a new phrase for it - FOMO. Fear of missing out, or FOMO, may offer a fresh name, but it is a timeworn issue. It is anxiety derived from trying to keep up with others’ activities and the fear that one is missing out if they do not also do that activity or have the coveted thing that everybody has. Instead of living richly and in contentment with the abundance that God has given to our hands, we compete and compare instead. Fear and anxiety drain us of the goodness that God has gifted us. We consume time, money, energy, and other resources to keep up with appearances and to match or exceed the experiences of others. Instead of feeling fulfilled, a person feels bankrupt, with nothing left to devote to God and no joy in the gifts acquired. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world. – 1 John 2:16, ESV Anxiety: fixated on fear Too often, we decide our value based on the external trappings of this world. We wrongly assign our worth, often comparing ourselves with any and everyone, close or unfamiliar. Peering through the windows of other people’s lives, we somehow believe that we are missing something. Unaware of others’ internal struggles and challenges, we make assumptions and judgments. Yet, [...]

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Teaching Your Children Safe and Healthy Ways to Use Social Media Platforms

Teaching Your Children Safe and Healthy Ways to Use Social Media Platforms

Vanessa Gross, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:31:36+00:00August 8th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Parenting has always been a daunting task, but with the advent of social media platforms and hyper-connectivity changing the social landscape, parental guidelines are getting even blurrier. It has become imperative for parents to be vigilant regarding the challenges the younger generation faces each day online. Knowing the amount of time your child spends on social media According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, kids ages eight to eighteen spend, on average, a whopping seven and a half hours on a screen for entertainment each day, four and a half hours of which are spent watching TV. Over the course of a year, that adds up to 114 full days watching a screen for fun. In effect, this means that children spend almost half of their waking hours each year engaged in online activities. Networks like TikTok, X, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Facebook are designed not only to grab your attention but also to maintain your continued interest. In these first few months of 2024, the American government has been up-in-arms with TikTok over its controversial new TikTok-Lite promotional incentive that seeks to reward its users with gift packs for spending more time on the site. That means people will be paid to spend more time online, with potentially catastrophic consequences for their mental health. Children spending even more time on leading social media platforms like TikTok means the problems caused by excessive use of the internet are only exacerbated. How social media platforms can endanger children’s well-being In this day and age, the long-held moral stance of simply forbidding kids from socially immoral places to keep them safe is no longer enough to keep them safe or protected. Con artists, criminals, and every form of predator are now just a click away each time your [...]

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Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:24+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes us in triumph when we commit to saying what He says about us, by faith, not necessarily our feelings. When we do, angels hear and follow [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:38+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:51+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

The phrase “men’s issues” is often used as a blanket term in psychotherapy. However, the term wraps around significant health concerns for men, and treating them should be taken seriously. Unfortunately, because so many men’s issues are interrelated to each other, it can be difficult for men to seek treatment. Here are four reasons men’s issues go untreated and how you can encourage the men in your life to seek help. Men’s issues may start small Many men don’t instantly when they need to seek treatment. Whether it’s difficulty controlling their anger in healthy ways or a tendency to become stressed when under pressure, men often assume this is normal and will get better. They may think, “I just need to get out and play a round of golf, and I’ll feel better.” Likewise, a glass of alcohol every evening could slowly turn into two, but they rationalize it, reasoning that it is fine because they know they’re stressed at work and also feeling pressure to pitch in more at home. However, because men’s issues tend to overlap, what seems like “the usual” stress load may be far greater – and all-encompassing – than a man realizes. For example, stress at work can come and go for anyone, man, or woman. However, when stress at work is added to a struggle with his role at work and home, it compounds the pressure a man may feel. These men’s issues can easily escalate if he is also faced with aging parents, a teenager with mood struggles or poor academic results, looming college expenses, or a transition in his spouse’s role, whether she works inside or outside the home. Any one of these can cause stress, but men may carry the load in one area without recognizing the load they’re also [...]

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Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:21+00:00April 1st, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’re not able to trust someone, there’s little foundation for a meaningful relationship with them. Trust, just like mutual respect, good communication, and love, are the key ingredients in a healthy relationship. When trust is lacking, the relationship is in a bit of a bind because it will likely lack depth and intimacy. That’s because you need to trust someone before you can be vulnerable with them. Trust issues interfere with this. What is trust? When you say you trust someone, you’re making a claim about their reliability. You can rely on their words, and you can rely on the fact that their actions have reasonable and good motivation behind them. Trust allows you to have a conversation with someone without wondering if they have a hidden agenda that will harm you. Trust is also what allows you to share yourself and be vulnerable with other people. Trust between two people develops in various ways. Often, when you spend time with someone, you get to observe them. They build a history of saying and doing things, and you can see for yourself if what they say and do match up or contradict one another. Over time, they show themselves to be dependable, and worthy of being taken at their word because they have demonstrated their character. You can be vulnerable with someone you trust, and that strengthens and deepens the relationship. In other situations, we trust people because someone we know and whose judgment we value trusts them. That’s one reason you go on a blind date with someone a trusted friend recommends. Sometimes, we trust people because they possess certain qualities that make them seem trustworthy. In other cases, we trust people because we have no choice but to take them at their word. That trust may [...]

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Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:30+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what you thought you knew. Your belief has not necessarily been proven false. It may just be that you [...]

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4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:02:48+00:00November 29th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You know that you want to improve certain aspects of your life, be it career or personal. You've researched coaches and found one that seems to be the right fit. Now you want to get the most out of your time together. How can you make sure you have an effective coaching experience? Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. – Colossians 3:23, NIV 4 Tips for an Effective Coaching Experience 1. Have definable goals. You may go into your coaching sessions with some big goals, and maybe even some specific goals, early in your time with a coach you want to make clear, definable goals for your time together and apart. Effective coaching will help you determine the best sequence of dreams and make smaller milestones toward the big goal you are trying to achieve. Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – St. Francis of Assisi 2. Set deadlines or milestones. These could be private and rather arbitrary, but by setting a deadline you create the pressure you need to achieve the results you want. The deadlines can be milestones or stepping stones. Examples include: “By the end of the week, I will…” or “In three months I need to finish…” Finding an approach that works for you can help you maximize the effectiveness of your coaching experience. Have a plan to celebrate those milestones. Maybe you watch a TV show after you accomplish your goal for the week. Perhaps you plan a coffee date with a friend after a certain deadline. Deadlines can be used to reward as well as drive you toward your goals. “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” – Nelson Mandela [...]

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Your Financial Future as a Couple

Your Financial Future as a Couple

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:04:42+00:00November 2nd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Finances are a big part of life for everyone. In individuals, finances can be a complex issue. Add another person into the mix, and finances can get even more challenging. When you are part of a couple, talking about your financial future may feel uncomfortable. It is, however, an essential part of the health and future of your relationship. Honest, open communication is the key to a stronger relationship. Especially when it comes to finances. It may be difficult to talk about finances with your partner. This can be for a variety of reasons such as different ways of doing things, shame for past decisions, and unhealthy models for finances growing up. These things do not need to prevent you from having these important conversations. A counselor can guide you and your partner through conversations to help you communicate. As a neutral third party, the counselor can ask questions, lead conversations, help people see other perspectives, and offer strategies for better communication. This is incredibly helpful as two people try to build a firm financial future together. No matter what point you are at in your relationship, you can benefit from finding common ground with your partner regarding finances. Finances and new couples. Finances may not seem like a big deal at the beginning of a relationship. You do not need to discuss your financial information with someone you are getting to know. Early discussions about money may revolve around things like who pays for meals and going out or what kind of things work with your budget. Being honest about this early on is helpful as you get to know one another better and spend more time together. Finances and established couples. If you have been dating for a good amount of time and you both consider your [...]

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Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:04:50+00:00August 15th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

At times, the world can appear as a warm, lively place, brimming with possibility. At other times, it seems cold and full of loneliness. Jesus was fully aware of these contradictions and complexities in the world He entered as well as the one in which we currently live. As the stairway between God and humans, He came to redeem the lost connection (John 1:51). While it seems that many would embrace His gift of sacrifice and salvation, others rejected Him. In a matter of days, those who cheered Him, shouting Hosanna, countered their initial cries, insisting on His crucifixion (Mark 11:9-10; 15:13-14). The pain of rejection is real, and it can produce a feeling of “otherness,” a loneliness that the APA characterizes as affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary. Yet, this jumbled assortment of experience and emotion doesn’t cancel us out of the books that are written about us in Heaven (Psalm 56:8). As the Everlasting Father, God committed to developing us into all He envisioned us to be. The challenge is we may have discounted ourselves because we agreed with those who rejected us. If rejection’s message of disapproval, denial of attention, and love influenced us in childhood or vulnerable times, we may have come to believe that those negative words were true. Jesus knows the range of conflicts we experience in our emotions as He was fully God and human during the time of His earthly ministry. Scripture describes Him as well-acquainted with sorrows and grief, to the degree that people hid their faces from Him (Isaiah 53:3). The prophet Isaiah’s description of the Messiah sounds like someone we can identify with when it comes to rejection and the loneliness that may play a role in [...]

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