Kate Motaung, Plano Christian Counseling

10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Kate Motaung2025-01-17T04:13:14+00:00July 12th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

In any relationship, things aren’t always going to be rosy. A few bumps in the road are par for the course because human beings are going to do what humans do. Even in the healthiest of relationships, some struggles and disagreements are to be expected. But these struggles don’t govern, or determine the course of healthy relationships; instead, the people in those relationships can navigate challenges in ways that preserve their dignity and allow the relationship to emerge stronger and with a deeper commitment. Just as there are healthy relationships, there are also relationships that can be labeled “toxic.” What precisely does “toxic” mean? It may be surprising, but toxic relationships aren’t always obviously toxic to the people in them. You may be in a toxic relationship and not know it. Or you might be the toxic partner in your relationship and you’re oblivious to it and how your behaviors are affecting your partner. That makes it even more important to know the signs of a toxic relationship and take steps to address things. A toxic relationship is characterized by behaviors that are emotionally and often physically damaging. One can expect that a healthy relationship will contribute to your sense of well-being, high self-esteem, and emotional energy, while a toxic relationship is damaging to one’s self-esteem and drains your energy. In a toxic relationship, one or both partners aren’t flourishing or thriving. Because relationships come in all shapes and sizes (some are romantic, others are platonic or familial) the following signs of a toxic relationship will differ and present in various ways. If you detect any of the following signs, take them as a cue that you should put some serious work into that relationship. Signs of a Toxic Relationship ‘Here we go again’ It’s the hallmark of healthy relationships [...]

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Bible Verses to Help You Take Every Thought Captive

Bible Verses to Help You Take Every Thought Captive

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:07:34+00:00July 6th, 2022|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

There is a great deal of literature on the subject of positive thinking, and the beneficial outcomes of abolishing negativity in one’s life. These principles make sense, as our minds are powerful, and our thoughts shape the actions we take and the type of people we become. The Bible is not silent on the topic of learning to take every thought captive, and there are numerous references in Scripture that boldly claim that anxiety can be beaten, and a life of peace and joy claimed, through the thoughts we allow into our minds by the grace of God. The best thing about being able to attempt to take every thought captive is that, when we do it prayerfully and ask God for his help, we are changing ourselves in His strength and not through our own efforts. That brings with it a wonderful sense of relief and frees us to enjoy the process rather than lamenting our failings. Here are some verses to help you on your journey toward renewed thinking: We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV The Christian life is based on faith and belief – what we think and know about God through His Word. There is also the very real existence of the devil, who knows how important our thoughts are, and “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). He works cunningly, going directly to our vulnerabilities and planting lies in our thought life. Think about how many thoughts cross our minds daily, how often these are negative ones, or are lies? Thoughts that we are not valuable or loved, that we are failures because we have not achieved a [...]

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7 Bible Verses About Marriage That Reveal God’s Heart for Married Life

7 Bible Verses About Marriage That Reveal God’s Heart for Married Life

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:07:44+00:00June 27th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Statistically, 50% of all marriages in America will end or have ended in divorce. What’s even more staggering, is that a study done by The Pew Research Center found that out of a group of 4,752 Christian individuals, 51% of them had been divorced. Each year, over one million American children suffer through the divorce of their parents, while half of the children born to married parents this year will see their parents divorced by the time they turn eighteen. These statistics are both shocking and sad, and perhaps the words of Jesus from Matthew 19:6 are flashing through your mind when it comes to marriage, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV) Certain Bible verses about marriage show us God’s intention for marriage, and we’re going to dive deeper into what that intention is in today’s article. We’re also going to look at the negative effects of divorce on both adults and children, the seven most common reasons for divorce, and what marriage counseling looks like for those who may be considering it. The Negative Effects of Divorce on Adults The textbook definition of divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body; to separate, disconnect, divide, disunite, or annul. According to the psychologist, Romeo Vitelli, adults who experience divorce face a variety of psychological issues including increased stress levels, lower life satisfaction, depression, increased medical visits, and an overall increase in mortality risk compared to those who remain married. The legal process of divorce can be lengthy and incredibly taxing on a physical and emotional level. The negative effects of divorce on adults both physically and emotionally may include: Unhappiness Depression Health issues Substance abuse Loneliness or loss of social network Decreased contact with children Ongoing hostility [...]

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Eight Practical Steps for Overcoming Depression

Eight Practical Steps for Overcoming Depression

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:08:10+00:00June 6th, 2022|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Have you ever wished there was a series of simple actions you could take to help with overcoming depression? Here is a list of ideas for you to consider and experiment with by trying them out separately or at the same time. Feelings of comfort, contentment, happiness, and excitement sometimes feel like they have a lighter quality than feeling low. Not just in the emotional sense but in the physical sense too. When you are feeling down, the negativity tends to grow and push out the space in your life previously occupied by feelings of light-heartedness. 8 Steps for Overcoming Depression One of the ways we can increase our resilience to feeling down is to acknowledge it and take active steps to nourish our emotional, mental, and physical selves by looking for and taking active enjoyment in various activities. 1. Do something you enjoy The word enjoy comes from the Old French word enjoir, this word is a combination of en “make” + joir “joy” and…voila, you have the word “enjoy.” To put it another way, it comes from a word that means “make joy”! To take joy in something is an action, it is something that we all do. It is not something we receive by accident. By taking steps (baby ones to start) to participate in activities you like, you can create joy in your life. This may sound unromantic and formulaic, but it is a practical step in the right direction. 2. Listen to music Listening to music is a well-documented way to improve your mood and help in overcoming depression. It also helps you to become more familiar with positive emotions, and being better able to recognize them will make them easier to focus on and implement to combat feeling down. Even better, playing music with [...]

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4 Ways to Deal with Stress Biblically

4 Ways to Deal with Stress Biblically

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:08:21+00:00May 9th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

Before learning to deal with stress biblically, we must first define "stress." The word “stress” is defined in the dictionary as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.” Few of us need a definition of the word, as feeling stressed is perhaps one of the most common emotions in our modern society. In fact, it is rare to find someone who does not feel stressed on a regular basis, or at least from time to time. Stress can result from any number of factors – finances, family, relationships, work – any aspect of life that has the potential to not go the way we’ve planned it. The gravity and symptoms of stress vary according to individuals, with a mild sense of feeling flustered on the one end and full-blown panic attacks necessitating medication on the other. 4 Ways to Deal with Stress from a Christian Perspective If we can nip stress in the bud, there is a greater chance of preventing it from spiraling into a damaging mental state that limits our effective functioning. As Christians, it is important and reassuring to recognize that God’s word does not remain silent on our stress, and it gives us some very concrete guidance on ways to deal with stress biblically. Steps to take to open ourselves up to this wisdom include: 1. Admitting to God, and ourselves, that we are stressed Sometimes we get so caught up in busyness and in trying to keep up appearances, that we can bury our stress for a long time. Unfortunately, avoidance is not one of the healthier ways to deal with stress, and it will eventually catch up with us in some way, either through physical sickness or mental burnout and exhaustion. The first important step [...]

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The Best Bible Verses About Grief

The Best Bible Verses About Grief

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:08:37+00:00April 25th, 2022|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Grief is one of the most difficult experiences we must face. The best Bible verses about grief can offer comfort during our seasons of grief. Whether you are grieving the death of a loved one or any other kind of significant loss, these verses can be a great encouragement for you. Meditate on these Bible verses about grief when sadness wells up inside of you. They will help you draw close to God even in your worst pain. And the people of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended. – Deuteronomy 34:8 Grieving takes time. It cannot be rushed. If you try to rush it, you will suffer more. The Israelites grieved Moses for thirty days. That may seem like a long time for a nation to grieve for its leader, but they needed to do this for their own healing. You need to grieve for as long as it takes. Don’t feel bad about taking a long time to grieve your losses. God will be right beside you the whole time, carrying you through your valleys of grief. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18 God takes notice of your broken heart. Whether your heart is broken due to death, breakup, or even the loss of a pet, God wants to draw close to you in your pain. When your suffering is greatest, God is closest to you. If your spirit feels crushed, God can handle that too. He will gently and lovingly save you from your shattered state. Like a caring father, he holds you in the palm of his hand, offering you healing and comfort. Draw close to him to feel his [...]

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Anger in the Bible: Righteous Vs. Unrighteous Anger

Anger in the Bible: Righteous Vs. Unrighteous Anger

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:08:49+00:00April 12th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Listen to this article Are you struggling with anger? You aren’t alone – even people in the Bible struggled with anger. God gives us anger as a warning sign that something is wrong. You can overcome it with God’s help. Your anger may be triggered by current or past hurts. It may be deeply rooted, but there is hope for you. As you study Bible verses that tell you how you can handle anger, you can start the healing process and learn new ways of relating to others. God will help you learn to be more like Him, acting in anger only when it is righteous. What the Bible Says About Anger Verses on anger in Scripture can teach us many things. They not only teach us what to avoid; they teach us what to pursue instead. God makes a clear distinction between righteous and unrighteous anger in his Word. Though God is the only one who can perfectly handle anger, he offers us practical solutions as we learn to apply his Word to our daily lives. You may feel frustrated because you keep becoming angry, even when you have tried different ways to handle it. That’s because anger is often linked to other emotions such as anxiety, stress, fear, impatience, and pride. A Christian counselor can help you handle those related emotions to decrease your anger and increase your peace. Let’s study several Bible verses that deal with anger so we can understand how to overcome it. Righteous Anger in the Bible The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there. And making a whip of cords, he drove them all [...]

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