McCartney Paul, Plano Christian Counseling

5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T09:20:10+00:00March 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

` One of the most critical aspects of our emotional freedom is to forgive those who have hurt us. This is especially true for people who have suffered trauma or abuse. A person with a traumatic past may need the help of forgiveness to move past it and thrive in their lives. However, just because a person has forgiven someone does not mean they need to give them access to their lives. Good Boundaries to Draw With Causers of Trauma Boundaries help people limit access to interaction with them and what they can know about them. A person who wants to protect themselves from suffering trauma again needs to draw proper boundaries with that person. Here are five good boundaries to draw with people who have caused trauma: Time Boundaries Limit the amount of time you spend with a person. If you see that person regularly, limiting the time you spend talking with that person is essential. A person who has subjected you to trauma and is not repentant may quickly come back to that topic and cause you pain and harm by denying the behavior even existed. This can re-trigger the pain you are trying to get past. Furthermore, a person who has subjected you to trauma wants to know more about you. By spending more time with you, they can learn more details about your life. Draw a reasonable time boundary and limit their time with you or your loved ones. Plano Christian Counseling can help you set healthy boundaries and find healing from past trauma. Space Boundaries Similarly, limit or restrict their ability to get close to you. A person who is close to you in proximity can try to hug you or, even worse, abuse you. To protect yourself, you need to draw a space [...]

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How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

How to Communicate Better in the Workplace: Four Barriers to Effective Communication

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:28:26+00:00February 19th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

If you have ever seen a good communicator in the flow of expressing themselves, it can be both an inspiring and discouraging thing to witness. Some people seem to be able to express themselves naturally and effortlessly, while others have a host of issues to overcome. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals build confidence and develop effective communication skills through faith-based guidance and support. The encouraging news is that learning to communicate better is entirely possible; the first step is learning about the barriers that block effective communication. How to Communicate Better by Overcoming Assumptions Words are a small part of communication. People communicate with their personalities, their bodies, and even through silence. We take in and respond to large amounts of information daily without fully realizing that we are wordlessly communicating with those around us. For example, when a coworker who is normally chatty and vibrant comes into work and they are quiet, withdrawn, and disheveled in appearance, they are communicating something without even speaking. We might subconsciously take note of their behavior, body language, and appearance and deduce that they are struggling today. They have communicated something to us. How we treat them in response is us communicating back to them. We might be gracious to them, give them space by not engaging in small talk, or we might take the opportunity to ask them how they are. If we were to observe the changes in them and decide on the reasons for those changes, we would be assuming. It might be a correct assumption, but without asking them simple, non-invasive questions, we won’t know for sure what is going on. Assumptions might be correct, but by leaning on assumptions, we risk being incorrect. There remains a barrier between us and the person we’ve assumed about. Correct [...]

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Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T18:28:21+00:00January 31st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Does the turn of the new year excite you? Do you think about what you want for your future? Or have you been living the same year repeatedly, much like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? You were created for a purpose, and it is not to repeat the same year over again. You can get clear on what you should do with a personal development plan. Why You Need a Personal Development Plan A personal development plan identifies your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It uncovers what you need to learn or do to accomplish your goals. New skills will take you higher than you have ever been before in your personal and professional life. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals create and achieve their personal development goals. The following are more benefits of creating a personal development plan. It motivates you to accomplish goals A personal development plan motivates you to accomplish goals that otherwise might be out of reach. It gets to the bottom of why you want to achieve a specific goal. When the tasks to reach the goal become challenging and you no longer feel motivated, the reason why you chose this goal will motivate you once more. A personal development plan keeps you focused on the reason behind the goal. It teaches you goal setting principles There is an art to setting goals; people who understand the principles and follow through achieve more than those who make vague statements. Anyone can declare that they want to do something, but it will probably never happen if they do not make their goal specific and time bound. It helps identify your strengths and weaknesses To reach the next level, you must honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. You will also need to [...]

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How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

How to Walk Alongside Your Depressed Husband

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T15:21:21+00:00January 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Seeing a person we love going through a hard time is heart-wrenching. We want to do all we can to love them, to make them feel loved, supported, and understood. It is possible in many situations – especially that of a depressed husband – to begin to feel powerless, especially when our presence does not seem to be making a difference. In this and other situations, remember that your empathetic presence by itself can make a difference, and you must hold onto that when it seems otherwise. If your husband is struggling with depression, you may not know how to be that empathetic presence for him. On the other hand, you may wonder if what you are doing is making a difference. Hopefully, the words below will encourage you in your journey with your depressed husband. Supporting a Loved One with Depression Depression is a common mental health problem that afflicts people from all walks of life, all genders, cultures, and ethnic backgrounds. It can afflict those whom we may perceive as strong. It is often shocking for many wives to see their husbands bowed down by depression. As with any other condition or situation, one of the first ways you can function as a meaningful support is to understand what it is your husband is dealing with. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help, offering guidance and faith-based support as you navigate this journey together. Depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions in daily life. Something is going on not only in the person’s body but also in their mind and brain chemistry as well. Often, depression is signaled by feelings of intense sadness which last for weeks and months. It can be tempting to think that your depressed husband just [...]

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Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-25T17:24:04+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help you navigate those challenges, offering faith-based guidance to strengthen your relationships and deepen your connection with God and others. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can [...]

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The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T08:04:44+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Some days you can find yourself going through a tough time and wrestle with naming what’s happening to you. If you’re struggling with something and not feeling like yourself, it can affect everything around you, from your relationships to your work, and even your enjoyment of everyday activities. It can even mean not showing up for others and yourself the way you’d want to. Being able to identify symptoms of depression helps you to address it effectively. An experience that’s common to many Americans of every age and from every walk of life is depression. Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of loss, sadness, and numbness to things that used to bring joy like hobbies or being with loved ones. Depression is more than just a bout of sadness; it affects how a person feels, thinks, and behaves. As a result, it can lead to having trouble with doing day-to-day tasks and enjoying life. Plano Christian Counseling provides faith-based support and guidance to help individuals navigate depression and find hope and healing. Depression can also leave you feeling as though life isn’t worth living, and it’s not something that you simply “snap out” of or “get over”. If this is something that a loved one or you’re going through, it’s important to be able to recognize the signs of it, so that you can find the appropriate help. Symptoms of depression It isn’t being too dramatic to say that knowing what the signs and symptoms of depression are can be a life-or-death matter. Some of the symptoms of depression are so serious that they are life-threatening, and recognizing what’s going on, and then proceeding to take appropriate action is invaluable. If you see these signs and symptoms in yourself or a loved one, go to a [...]

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Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T09:10:16+00:00August 19th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Whether you intentionally search or aimlessly scroll, you will find evidence of anxiety fingerprinted on the web or anywhere you can find people. Internet ads, reels, or posts reveal the idolatrous heart of our society, often expressed as the fear of missing out. We have become so addicted to doing more and outdoing one other that we have coined a new phrase for it - FOMO. Fear of missing out, or FOMO, may offer a fresh name, but it is a timeworn issue. It is anxiety derived from trying to keep up with others’ activities and the fear that one is missing out if they do not also do that activity or have the coveted thing that everybody has. Instead of living richly and in contentment with the abundance that God has given to our hands, we compete and compare instead. Fear and anxiety drain us of the goodness that God has gifted us. We consume time, money, energy, and other resources to keep up with appearances and to match or exceed the experiences of others. Instead of feeling fulfilled, a person feels bankrupt, with nothing left to devote to God and no joy in the gifts acquired. Plano Christian Counseling can help you break free from this cycle, find peace in God’s provision, and rediscover the joy of living with purpose and gratitude. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world. – 1 John 2:16, ESV Anxiety: fixated on fear Too often, we decide our value based on the external trappings of this world. We wrongly assign our worth, often comparing ourselves with any and everyone, close or unfamiliar. Peering through the [...]

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Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T09:39:47+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. At Plano Christian Counseling, we walk alongside you in your journey of faith, offering biblical wisdom and compassionate support to help you persevere through life’s challenges. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-29T02:52:34+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. At Plano Christian Counseling, we help individuals develop healthy, effective communication skills rooted in biblical wisdom, fostering stronger connections in personal and professional relationships. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if [...]

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Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-29T02:57:27+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

The phrase “men’s issues” is often used as a blanket term in psychotherapy. However, the term wraps around significant health concerns for men, and treating them should be taken seriously. Unfortunately, because so many men’s issues are interrelated to each other, it can be difficult for men to seek treatment. Here are four reasons men’s issues go untreated and how you can encourage the men in your life to seek help. Men’s issues may start small Many men don’t instantly when they need to seek treatment. Whether it’s difficulty controlling their anger in healthy ways or a tendency to become stressed when under pressure, men often assume this is normal and will get better. Plano Christian Counseling, provides a faith-based guidance to help men develop healthier coping strategies, find peace, and regain control over their lives. They may think, “I just need to get out and play a round of golf, and I’ll feel better.” Likewise, a glass of alcohol every evening could slowly turn into two, but they rationalize it, reasoning that it is fine because they know they’re stressed at work and also feeling pressure to pitch in more at home. However, because men’s issues tend to overlap, what seems like “the usual” stress load may be far greater – and all-encompassing – than a man realizes. For example, stress at work can come and go for anyone, man, or woman. However, when stress at work is added to a struggle with his role at work and home, it compounds the pressure a man may feel. These men’s issues can easily escalate if he is also faced with aging parents, a teenager with mood struggles or poor academic results, looming college expenses, or a transition in his spouse’s role, whether she works inside or outside the home. [...]

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