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Is ADHD Anger a Thing?

2024-09-27T11:52:47+00:00April 23rd, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is characterized by difficulties in self-regulation and impulse control. Although anger is not listed as one of its official symptoms in the DSM-5-TR, studies indicate that it is, in fact, inherent to the affliction, and people with ADHD are more prone to experiencing anger and irritability than neurotypical people. Emotional dysregulation is a major part of living with ADHD for both adults and children. It makes them feel emotions much more intensely than neurotypical people do and become disproportionately overwhelmed by things such as daily responsibilities, time management, sensory overload, having to switch tasks, rejection, or fatigue, all of which can make them feel stressed and frustrated, and trigger angry outbursts or meltdowns. Effect of emotional dysregulation on ADHD anger ADHD limits your executive functioning capacity by causing significant deficits in the rational thinking part of your brain located in the prefrontal cortex. This is the area that controls the mental processes that enable you to prioritize what’s important in your surroundings, filter out what might be harmful or distracting, regulate your emotions, control your impulses, and enable you to plan and direct your behavior toward achieving a specific goal. The amygdala, on the other hand, is the emotional center of your brain that controls your fight-or-flight response. When triggered, it floods your body with stress hormones such as adrenaline, bumping up the intensity of your reactions, overpowering your prefrontal cortex, taking over the running of your brain, and hijacking control of your ability to respond rationally to the situation. Emotional dysregulation clouds your judgment and causes angry feelings to escalate quickly and intensely. Instead of thinking before you act, you react impulsively, in a way that is disproportionate to the trigger rather than responding in a more socially [...]

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4 Reasons Why Group Counseling Can Help More than You Think

2024-09-27T10:07:22+00:00April 17th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Group Counseling|

Group counseling may be something you have seen in movies. Perhaps you have known a person who underwent in-patient care and then did group counseling as part of their overall treatment plan. Group counseling can be an effective way to treat many struggles that are common in today’s society. Here are four unique features group counseling brings. Group counseling can de-stigmatize mental health issues Even though many cultures have come a long way, not every person’s cultural or familial background supports a healthy view of counseling. They may see it as a weakness or as something that only crazy people need. Others may simply view counseling as a tool for those who cannot solve their problems, such as marital struggles or addiction issues. However, group counseling can be a benefit for anyone who is hesitant to see an individual counselor or who just does not know where to begin. It gives them a place to see that other everyday people just like them are also reaching out for help. The care and respect demonstrated in a group counseling environment will often help someone who is hesitant about individual counseling. Because they get a chance to meet people whose needs are being met, they are growing and thriving. Counseling itself becomes less of a barrier for a person to imagine seeing themselves benefit from. It can remove the shame associated with specific struggles Because of the individual nature of counseling in one-on-one environments, your therapist cannot tell you that she has another client dealing with the same thing you are. But if you attend a few group counseling sessions, for example, for your struggle with anxiety, you will learn that you are not the only one. It can be freeing and empowering to learn that others are going through the [...]

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Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

2024-10-29T10:55:21+00:00April 1st, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’re not able to trust someone, there’s little foundation for a meaningful relationship with them. Trust, just like mutual respect, good communication, and love, are the key ingredients in a healthy relationship. When trust is lacking, the relationship is in a bit of a bind because it will likely lack depth and intimacy. That’s because you need to trust someone before you can be vulnerable with them. Trust issues interfere with this. What is trust? When you say you trust someone, you’re making a claim about their reliability. You can rely on their words, and you can rely on the fact that their actions have reasonable and good motivation behind them. Trust allows you to have a conversation with someone without wondering if they have a hidden agenda that will harm you. Trust is also what allows you to share yourself and be vulnerable with other people. Trust between two people develops in various ways. Often, when you spend time with someone, you get to observe them. They build a history of saying and doing things, and you can see for yourself if what they say and do match up or contradict one another. Over time, they show themselves to be dependable, and worthy of being taken at their word because they have demonstrated their character. You can be vulnerable with someone you trust, and that strengthens and deepens the relationship. In other situations, we trust people because someone we know and whose judgment we value trusts them. That’s one reason you go on a blind date with someone a trusted friend recommends. Sometimes, we trust people because they possess certain qualities that make them seem trustworthy. In other cases, we trust people because we have no choice but to take them at their word. That trust may [...]

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Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

2024-10-29T10:55:30+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what you thought you knew. Your belief has not necessarily been proven false. It may just be that you [...]

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10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

2024-09-27T11:52:06+00:00January 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-esteem is how you perceive your worth. It is self-respect. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may have trouble in relationships and social situations. Low self-esteem typically means a lack of assertiveness, which indicates you may need help building self-esteem. 10 Tips for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem is simpler than you may think. It is not easy; however, taking specific action can simplify boosting self-esteem. Here are ten steps to building self-esteem. Accept where and who you are now. There is much unhappiness in trying to return to being the version of yourself you used to be. The version you were before the loss of a family member, the end of a marriage, the birth of a child, or the move to a new state. Accepting who you are now and where you are regarding a specific life category grounds you. This acceptance provides clarity for what you want next. Catch negative thoughts. Negative thoughts and demeaning self-talk can do a great deal of damage. Vow to catch these thoughts as soon as you recognize them. Recognize the lie and look for the truth. You can change an old belief into a new one with practice. Flip these thoughts into positive self-talk. Smile. A quick tip for building self-esteem is to smile. Smiling stimulates the amygdala, releasing endorphins that brighten your mood and boost confidence. Notice how others perceive you when you greet them with a smile. You can experience a mood boost by simply smiling when you are alone. Play music. Energetic music, the kind that makes you want to dance, can boost your mood and improve your self-esteem. A song can make you feel like you can take on the world. Create a new playlist with songs that make you feel confident and strong. Be nice [...]

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Nervous Breakdown: What it Is and What to Do

2024-09-27T11:52:21+00:00December 22nd, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The term nervous breakdown refers to your brain’s response to intense, unmanageable emotional distress that leaves you struggling or unable to function in your day-to-day life. It is not a medical term or an official diagnosis of a particular mental health disorder, but rather a colloquialism used to describe a temporary mental health crisis that can be frightening and immobilizing. Symptoms of a nervous breakdown. Unmanageable anxiety. Feeling vulnerable and isolated. Cancelling activities you usually enjoy. Calling in sick for work. Skipping appointments. Isolating from friends and family. Feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Feeling physically paralyzed. Difficulty performing tasks that are usually easy. Brain fog. Trouble remembering things. Trouble focusing or thinking straight. Inability to make decisions. Moodiness. Feeling depressed, burned out, fearful, helpless, or hopeless. Emotional outbursts of anger or uncontrollable crying. Inability to eat or sleep properly. Using sleep as an escape. Neglecting personal hygiene. Feeling detached or delusional. Hallucinations and paranoia. Physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, chest pain, headaches, trouble breathing, dizziness, or nausea. Panic attacks. Thoughts of suicide or self-harm. Possible causes. Taking on too many responsibilities. Too much pressure at work. Being a poor fit for a particular job. Needing to always be in control. Working long hours. Not getting enough sleep. Medical trauma. Family or financial stress. Major life change. Lack of close relationships or social support. Life circumstances that feel too much to handle. Lack of resiliency. Poor coping skills. Treatment options. The most effective treatment for a nervous breakdown is a combination of counseling and the following recommended lifestyle changes. Get adequate rest. Mental exhaustion is often at the core of a nervous breakdown. Maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and getting sufficient rest is key to recuperation. Exercise. Exercise can provide time out from the pressures of your day. [...]

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4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

2024-09-27T11:57:38+00:00November 29th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You know that you want to improve certain aspects of your life, be it career or personal. You've researched coaches and found one that seems to be the right fit. Now you want to get the most out of your time together. How can you make sure you have an effective coaching experience? Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. – Colossians 3:23, NIV 4 Tips for an Effective Coaching Experience 1. Have definable goals. You may go into your coaching sessions with some big goals, and maybe even some specific goals, early in your time with a coach you want to make clear, definable goals for your time together and apart. Effective coaching will help you determine the best sequence of dreams and make smaller milestones toward the big goal you are trying to achieve. Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – St. Francis of Assisi 2. Set deadlines or milestones. These could be private and rather arbitrary, but by setting a deadline you create the pressure you need to achieve the results you want. The deadlines can be milestones or stepping stones. Examples include: “By the end of the week, I will…” or “In three months I need to finish…” Finding an approach that works for you can help you maximize the effectiveness of your coaching experience. Have a plan to celebrate those milestones. Maybe you watch a TV show after you accomplish your goal for the week. Perhaps you plan a coffee date with a friend after a certain deadline. Deadlines can be used to reward as well as drive you toward your goals. “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” – Nelson Mandela [...]

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Preventing Codependency in Marriage

2024-09-27T12:00:07+00:00November 17th, 2023|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A healthy and balanced marriage relationship may be the goal, but it isn’t always easy. One way you can create and maintain a healthy relationship is by preventing codependency in marriage. By working with your spouse, you can develop a healthy love and care for one another while maintaining the unique characteristics God gave you. Avoiding codependency will help ensure that each person’s feelings are respected, and their needs are met. Healthy marriage tips to avoid codependency in marriage. As you strive for a healthy marriage, you can implement the strategies below. It will help you and your partner foster independence and maintain individual identities as you nurture your marriage. Communication is key. Strive to have open and honest communication with your partner. Prioritize discussing your feelings, needs, and concerns regularly. As you do this be sure that both partners feel heard and understood. Set and respect boundaries. Boundaries are part of healthy relationships. Seek to establish clear, loving boundaries in your relationship. As you recognize that each person has their own needs and feelings, you make each person feel respected and loved. When this happens, you can build a stronger relationship. Prioritize self-care. Self-care benefits both people in a marriage. Encourage one another to engage in self-care activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This helps both people function well, enabling them to love one another better. Maintain individual interests and friendships. Everyone has their own passions and interests. Make time and space for pursuing these. Even friendships and social connections outside of your marriage are good for you. Communicate well about it and avoid keeping secrets from one another to foster a healthy relationship as you do this. Try to seek balance. Create a comfortable balance between time spent together and time spent apart. This allows [...]

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Understanding Attachment Issues: 4 Attachment Styles

2024-09-27T12:00:00+00:00November 15th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The concept of “attachment issues” has become a bit of a buzzword, with a distinct lack of clarity around what it means and how it plays out in practice. The picture that comes to mind is of someone who has trouble maintaining healthy adult relationships, who is overly clingy, or behaves in a toxic way. Understanding Attachment Issues Understanding attachment issues requires getting to grips with attachment theory and attachment styles, which relate to how a person experienced attachment as a child. Four attachment styles. The attachment theory which was pioneered by John Bowlby in 1946 defined attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings”. His work focused on babies who had either strong or weak emotional connections with their mothers. The four main types of attachment, which can apply in childhood through adulthood, include: 1. Secure attachment. If a baby trusted their primary caregiver and formed a close, healthy bond with them in their early years, this caregiver gave the infant a secure base from which to explore the world. This is the best possible situation because it hardwires the individual’s brain to feel valued and accepted by other people, and they in turn value and accept other people. In adulthood, people who experienced a secure attachment will likely function well in relationships, trusting people (who merit trust), and being able to regulate their emotions apart from others. 2. Anxious-preoccupied. If a mother or other primary caregiver was inconsistent or slow in responding to an infant’s needs or failed to meet them in some way, a child may demonstrate an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. This can lead to attachment issues in adulthood, with the person generally experiencing a negative view of themselves in relation to others. This means that in relationships, they crave intimacy and want to feel [...]

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Your Financial Future as a Couple

2024-09-27T11:56:28+00:00November 2nd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Finances are a big part of life for everyone. In individuals, finances can be a complex issue. Add another person into the mix, and finances can get even more challenging. When you are part of a couple, talking about your financial future may feel uncomfortable. It is, however, an essential part of the health and future of your relationship. Honest, open communication is the key to a stronger relationship. Especially when it comes to finances. It may be difficult to talk about finances with your partner. This can be for a variety of reasons such as different ways of doing things, shame for past decisions, and unhealthy models for finances growing up. These things do not need to prevent you from having these important conversations. A counselor can guide you and your partner through conversations to help you communicate. As a neutral third party, the counselor can ask questions, lead conversations, help people see other perspectives, and offer strategies for better communication. This is incredibly helpful as two people try to build a firm financial future together. No matter what point you are at in your relationship, you can benefit from finding common ground with your partner regarding finances. Finances and new couples. Finances may not seem like a big deal at the beginning of a relationship. You do not need to discuss your financial information with someone you are getting to know. Early discussions about money may revolve around things like who pays for meals and going out or what kind of things work with your budget. Being honest about this early on is helpful as you get to know one another better and spend more time together. Finances and established couples. If you have been dating for a good amount of time and you both consider your [...]

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