Individual Counseling Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2024-12-20T05:37:08+00:00December 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When two people are in a relationship with each other, they have the opportunity to open themselves up to each other and build up a history of fruitful and positive interactions. If you accumulate enough of these positive and fruitful interactions with a person, that usually allows you to continue being open to them, and avoid trust issues. Trusting other people with pieces of ourselves isn’t an easy thing. For one thing, not everyone is trustworthy, and it isn’t always easy to let other people into our inner world. If there are trust issues in a relationship, such as in a marriage, between friends, colleagues, or family members, it makes that situation difficult to navigate. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 What causes trust issues in a relationship? But what lies at the root of trust issues in a relationship? Many possible causes can account for why trust never blossomed in a relationship, or why the trust that existed in a relationship has faltered or been lost and is now hard to recover. Emotional vulnerability with another person is a fragile thing, and so it can be both hard to form a bond of trust, and [...]

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Do You Have the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

Do You Have the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:01+00:00November 8th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

You may have heard about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in the past regarding children, but were you aware that adults can also live with this mental condition? Many children with ADHD eventually outgrow it, but about 60% of individuals still have adult ADHD. Symptoms of adult ADHD Do you often question why you struggle with a short attention span, listening to others, or impatience? These are some common symptoms of adult ADHD: Fidgeting and an inability to sit still Hyperactivity is a core component of ADHD, although someone can have the condition without restlessness. As a child, your teachers may have told your parents that you were always on the move or could not sit still. Impulsiveness Impulsiveness and risky behaviors, such as driving recklessly, speeding, and having one-night stands, are symptoms that can lead to broken relationships and trouble with the law. Interrupting others Interrupting others and being unable to wait your turn are hallmarks of ADHD in adults. For example, you may have trouble waiting patiently in line at the grocery store or doctor’s office. In addition, you may become belligerent if you feel that others are being seen first. Racing thoughts Your thoughts may jump from one subject to the next rapidly, and people might complain that you talk too fast. This is one of the reasons you interrupt others; you want to voice your thoughts before you lose them to another topic. Starting projects and not completing them Your parents, spouse, or boss might complain about you starting projects only to abandon them at the halfway point. You may lose interest or become distracted by a new project. Inability to focus and concentrate As your mind skips around from topic to topic, you will find it is harder to focus on tasks. Multitasking is [...]

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Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:40+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety. Some relationship advice for women Your relationships matter, and you [...]

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PTSD Help: Causes and Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD Help: Causes and Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:45:47+00:00October 26th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Daily, there are shocking occurrences happening all around us. We read about them on the news, or as stories that friends, neighbors, or other loved ones share in person or on social media. At times, we ourselves might be witnesses of such events. If these events are frightening, or if there is a real threat of harm involved in them, they could result in trauma leading to PTSD, at which point PTSD help would be in order. Trauma is a person’s emotional response to shocking or frightening events. That response might initially be numbness or a sense of being overwhelmed. Over time, a person can work through the emotions and thoughts associated with the event, finding healing and a sense of peace. However, if the symptoms of trauma linger and perhaps intensify over time, it may be post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Causes of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD is the mental health condition that results when a person sees, experiences, or hears about a traumatic event. A traumatic event can be anything from going through a serious and life-threatening illness, a difficult childbirth experience, being threatened with a weapon, a car accident, or the death of a loved one. Likewise, it can include a natural disaster, kidnapping, sexual assault, being in a combat zone, or being a victim of terrorist activity. It is not known for certain what causes PTSD, because two people may experience a similar or the same traumatic event, and one person may develop PTSD, while the other does not. A person may be at greater risk of developing PTSD as a result of the severity of the traumatic experience. Other factors that may play a role in causing PTSD include your genetics and the prevalence of mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety in your [...]

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The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-18T13:52:46+00:00October 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It’s easy to take it for granted that you know yourself. After all, you’ve spent every waking (and sleeping) moment of your life with yourself, so surely there aren’t any surprises left or illusions you have about yourself, right? For many of us, the truth is that we act in ways that seem inconsistent with who we say or think we are. Words come from our mouths that make us wonder, “Where did that come from?” Without self-reflection, we are mysteries even to ourselves. We are layered and complex beings. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about who we are; we have high hopes for ourselves, but we disappoint ourselves. We can try to motivate ourselves to act in certain ways but fail to gain traction because the motivation just doesn’t speak to us as much as we thought it would. All this points to the idea that we might not know ourselves as well as we think. Self-reflection through journaling Taking time out for self-reflection is crucial to developing your self-understanding. As you reflect, you can ponder over your actions, thoughts, reactions, and feelings to the things you encountered during your day or week. Ask yourself what challenged you, what inspired you, what puzzled you, or what stirred up powerful emotions such as fear or anger. Life gets busy, which means intentionality toward self-reflection is key. As you self-reflect, you don’t necessarily have to do it with a journal. A journal is helpful because you can always go back and refer to it. It captures the moment in ways that your memory might not, which makes it a valuable tool. With journaling apps out there in addition to written journals, it’s easier than ever to set your thoughts and reflections to paper. Taking the time to reflect through journaling [...]

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The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:53+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Some days you can find yourself going through a tough time and wrestle with naming what’s happening to you. If you’re struggling with something and not feeling like yourself, it can affect everything around you, from your relationships to your work, and even your enjoyment of everyday activities. It can even mean not showing up for others and yourself the way you’d want to. Being able to identify symptoms of depression helps you to address it effectively. An experience that’s common to many Americans of every age and from every walk of life is depression. Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of loss, sadness, and numbness to things that used to bring joy like hobbies or being with loved ones. Depression is more than just a bout of sadness; it affects how a person feels, thinks, and behaves. As a result, it can lead to having trouble with doing day-to-day tasks and enjoying life. Depression can also leave you feeling as though life isn’t worth living, and it’s not something that you simply “snap out” of or “get over”. If this is something that a loved one or you’re going through, it’s important to be able to recognize the signs of it, so that you can find the appropriate help. Symptoms of depression It isn’t being too dramatic to say that knowing what the signs and symptoms of depression are can be a life-or-death matter. Some of the symptoms of depression are so serious that they are life-threatening, and recognizing what’s going on, and then proceeding to take appropriate action is invaluable. If you see these signs and symptoms in yourself or a loved one, go to a health professional such as a doctor or a counselor to get help. The signs and symptoms of depression [...]

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Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:11+00:00August 19th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Whether you intentionally search or aimlessly scroll, you will find evidence of anxiety fingerprinted on the web or anywhere you can find people. Internet ads, reels, or posts reveal the idolatrous heart of our society, often expressed as the fear of missing out. We have become so addicted to doing more and outdoing one other that we have coined a new phrase for it - FOMO. Fear of missing out, or FOMO, may offer a fresh name, but it is a timeworn issue. It is anxiety derived from trying to keep up with others’ activities and the fear that one is missing out if they do not also do that activity or have the coveted thing that everybody has. Instead of living richly and in contentment with the abundance that God has given to our hands, we compete and compare instead. Fear and anxiety drain us of the goodness that God has gifted us. We consume time, money, energy, and other resources to keep up with appearances and to match or exceed the experiences of others. Instead of feeling fulfilled, a person feels bankrupt, with nothing left to devote to God and no joy in the gifts acquired. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world. – 1 John 2:16, ESV Anxiety: fixated on fear Too often, we decide our value based on the external trappings of this world. We wrongly assign our worth, often comparing ourselves with any and everyone, close or unfamiliar. Peering through the windows of other people’s lives, we somehow believe that we are missing something. Unaware of others’ internal struggles and challenges, we make assumptions and judgments. Yet, [...]

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6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

Wade Van Staden2024-09-27T10:06:14+00:00July 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A failure to use effective communication in relationships means a failure to connect with others. It’s one thing to be aware of these intimacy gaps in our relationships, but it’s not always easy knowing how to bridge them. 6 Tips for Better Communication Here are six tips for better communication in relationships: Check in by asking questions When we have communication breakdowns, we begin to experience distance from our partner because we have stopped being intentional in connecting with them. Every relationship has a rhythm that incorporates work, family, friends, and pressures. These things have a habit of stealing our energy and focus. Before we realize it, we have been swept up in the rhythm of life like a current dragging us away from our significant other. It might seem odd to share personal space with someone each day and still have to ask a question like, “How are you doing?” but that is one effective way of reconnecting with your partner. It’s a case of putting off obligations, making time to be alone together, giving each other your full attention, and checking in. When we feel valued and safe, the conversation should flow effortlessly. Pay attention People communicate with more than words. There is as much meaning in the things we don’t say as in the things we do. A partner who is struggling with something and responds with a simple, “I’m fine” when asked, might be communicating that they are too overwhelmed to express themselves fully. That kind of guarded communication might come across as dismissive and it can be hurtful. We must ask ourselves what is behind their attitude, and pay attention to things like body language, mood, and eye contact. Accept differences The old saying that opposites attract is often accurate. On one hand, we [...]

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Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:24+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes us in triumph when we commit to saying what He says about us, by faith, not necessarily our feelings. When we do, angels hear and follow [...]

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Are There Different Types of Autism?

Are There Different Types of Autism?

Brooke Turbyfill2024-09-27T11:50:31+00:00July 4th, 2024|Autism Spectrum Disorder, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you are not familiar with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, you may also be unaware that psychologists no longer separate different types of autism. Because they share diagnosis characteristics, childhood disintegrative disorder, Asperger’s syndrome, and Rett’s syndrome are all under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Many psychologists shorten it to simply autism. While the diagnosis may be autism, the way different types of autism are displayed still resonates. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder believed to have genetic components. To specify various aspects of autism in this article, we will distinguish between the classifiers as different types of autism, even though they are given one diagnosis, Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD. Level 1 autism Once the term Asperger’s syndrome was terminated from the DSM in 2013, level 1 ASD replaced it. Another way you may have heard this is high-functioning autism. However, there is little agreement among experts as to what exactly qualifies as high functioning. A level 1 ASD diagnosis is assigned to a person who exhibits similar cognitive development to peers but struggles with social development and mild repetitive patterns. Someone with level 1 autism may struggle: To interact with peers. To broaden his or her interests (only interested in a few fields of study). To maintain certain physical gestures such as eye contact, coordination, and specific bodily and facial cues. To switch gears when changing from one activity to the next. To understand what non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, mean in a social context. With enjoying or seeking out typical social situations. The level 1 diagnosis signifies that a person can manage fairly well and exceeds his or her peers in specific areas of interest. The person requires some support, but they are usually also highly intelligent and don’t need the level [...]

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