Individual Counseling Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

Fear of Missing Out: Exchanging Anxiety for the Delight of Living Your Own Best Life

By McCartney Paul|2024-08-22T12:39:46+00:00August 19th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Whether you intentionally search or aimlessly scroll, you will find evidence of anxiety fingerprinted on the web or anywhere you can find people. Internet ads, reels, or posts reveal the idolatrous heart of our society, often expressed as the fear of missing out. We have become so addicted to doing more and outdoing one other that we have coined a new phrase for it - FOMO. Fear of missing out, or FOMO, may offer a fresh name, but it is a timeworn issue. It is anxiety derived from trying to keep up with others’ activities and the fear that one is missing out if they do not also do that activity or have the coveted thing that everybody has. Instead of living richly and in contentment with the abundance that God has given to our hands, we compete and compare instead. Fear and anxiety drain us of the goodness that God has gifted us. We consume time, money, energy, and other resources to keep up with appearances and to match or exceed the experiences of others. Instead of feeling fulfilled, a person feels bankrupt, with nothing left to devote to God and no joy in the gifts acquired. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world. – 1 John 2:16, ESV Anxiety: fixated on fear Too often, we decide our value based on the external trappings of this world. We wrongly assign our worth, often comparing ourselves with any and everyone, close or unfamiliar. Peering through the windows of other people’s lives, we somehow believe that we are missing something. Unaware of others’ internal struggles and challenges, we make assumptions and judgments. Yet, [...]

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6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-07-30T19:59:14+00:00July 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A failure to use effective communication in relationships means a failure to connect with others. It’s one thing to be aware of these intimacy gaps in our relationships, but it’s not always easy knowing how to bridge them. 6 Tips for Better Communication Here are six tips for better communication in relationships: Check in by asking questions When we have communication breakdowns, we begin to experience distance from our partner because we have stopped being intentional in connecting with them. Every relationship has a rhythm that incorporates work, family, friends, and pressures. These things have a habit of stealing our energy and focus. Before we realize it, we have been swept up in the rhythm of life like a current dragging us away from our significant other. It might seem odd to share personal space with someone each day and still have to ask a question like, “How are you doing?” but that is one effective way of reconnecting with your partner. It’s a case of putting off obligations, making time to be alone together, giving each other your full attention, and checking in. When we feel valued and safe, the conversation should flow effortlessly. Pay attention People communicate with more than words. There is as much meaning in the things we don’t say as in the things we do. A partner who is struggling with something and responds with a simple, “I’m fine” when asked, might be communicating that they are too overwhelmed to express themselves fully. That kind of guarded communication might come across as dismissive and it can be hurtful. We must ask ourselves what is behind their attitude, and pay attention to things like body language, mood, and eye contact. Accept differences The old saying that opposites attract is often accurate. On one hand, we [...]

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Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

By McCartney Paul|2024-07-18T10:20:14+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes us in triumph when we commit to saying what He says about us, by faith, not necessarily our feelings. When we do, angels hear and follow [...]

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Are There Different Types of Autism?

Are There Different Types of Autism?

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-07-08T13:37:08+00:00July 4th, 2024|Autism Spectrum Disorder, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you are not familiar with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, you may also be unaware that psychologists no longer separate different types of autism. Because they share diagnosis characteristics, childhood disintegrative disorder, Asperger’s syndrome, and Rett’s syndrome are all under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Many psychologists shorten it to simply autism. While the diagnosis may be autism, the way different types of autism are displayed still resonates. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder believed to have genetic components. To specify various aspects of autism in this article, we will distinguish between the classifiers as different types of autism, even though they are given one diagnosis, Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD. Level 1 autism Once the term Asperger’s syndrome was terminated from the DSM in 2013, level 1 ASD replaced it. Another way you may have heard this is high-functioning autism. However, there is little agreement among experts as to what exactly qualifies as high functioning. A level 1 ASD diagnosis is assigned to a person who exhibits similar cognitive development to peers but struggles with social development and mild repetitive patterns. Someone with level 1 autism may struggle: To interact with peers. To broaden his or her interests (only interested in a few fields of study). To maintain certain physical gestures such as eye contact, coordination, and specific bodily and facial cues. To switch gears when changing from one activity to the next. To understand what non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, mean in a social context. With enjoying or seeking out typical social situations. The level 1 diagnosis signifies that a person can manage fairly well and exceeds his or her peers in specific areas of interest. The person requires some support, but they are usually also highly intelligent and don’t need the level [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

By McCartney Paul|2024-06-21T16:54:14+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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Five Signs of Depression in Children

Five Signs of Depression in Children

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-06-25T12:10:57+00:00June 19th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Depression, along with other mental health disorders, is on the rise in every age group. However, psychologists have seen a recent spike in depression cases among children. Children who exhibit signs of depression may be overt or a parent may suspect signs of something wrong but may not be able to pinpoint the exact source. Some children may be verbal regarding their symptoms, but others may hide their symptoms because of embarrassment or shame. If you’re seeing signs of depression in your child, you are not alone. If you suspect your child is depressed but are not sure here are five signs to watch out for: Disinterest in activities Depression leaves children with a lack of interest in doing the things they love the most. For example, a child who is normally busy with extracurricular activities may suddenly find they no longer want to do them. Additionally, children may want to stay in their room for long periods, watch TV, or other passive activities to help cope (or even mask) depression symptoms. Even with medication, children suffering from depression may still not want to do the things they once enjoyed. Sleeping late Similarly, children and teens who are suffering from depression may want to sleep late. Parents may find a child doesn’t want to get out of bed or sleep the day away. Parents should discourage a child from doing this. Rather, encourage the child to get up, move around, get some exercise, and take care of their physical body with nutrition and water. Normally active children may only need eight hours of sleep. Teens may need 9 to 9 1/2 hours of sleep which is important for their development. Kids suffering from depression may find they want to sleep 14 to 16 hours a day and still be [...]

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Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

By McCartney Paul|2024-05-24T19:24:14+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

The phrase “men’s issues” is often used as a blanket term in psychotherapy. However, the term wraps around significant health concerns for men, and treating them should be taken seriously. Unfortunately, because so many men’s issues are interrelated to each other, it can be difficult for men to seek treatment. Here are four reasons men’s issues go untreated and how you can encourage the men in your life to seek help. Men’s issues may start small Many men don’t instantly when they need to seek treatment. Whether it’s difficulty controlling their anger in healthy ways or a tendency to become stressed when under pressure, men often assume this is normal and will get better. They may think, “I just need to get out and play a round of golf, and I’ll feel better.” Likewise, a glass of alcohol every evening could slowly turn into two, but they rationalize it, reasoning that it is fine because they know they’re stressed at work and also feeling pressure to pitch in more at home. However, because men’s issues tend to overlap, what seems like “the usual” stress load may be far greater – and all-encompassing – than a man realizes. For example, stress at work can come and go for anyone, man, or woman. However, when stress at work is added to a struggle with his role at work and home, it compounds the pressure a man may feel. These men’s issues can easily escalate if he is also faced with aging parents, a teenager with mood struggles or poor academic results, looming college expenses, or a transition in his spouse’s role, whether she works inside or outside the home. Any one of these can cause stress, but men may carry the load in one area without recognizing the load they’re also [...]

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Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-05-21T18:25:52+00:00May 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

For many people, getting married is one of the central goals of their life. “Will I ever get married?” is a wistful question they often ask themselves when they see their friends married, getting married, or in serious relationships and they are not. They view their singleness as an insurmountable wall separating them from happiness and wonder if there is something wrong with them and if or when it will ever be their turn.Does this resonate with you? If so, this article may be a source of encouragement and hope.Answers to the question, “Will I ever get married?”One answer is that it depends on how much effort you are willing to put into dating and looking for a potential partner.Finding a mate is not a passive process. A romance that leads to a lasting marriage often takes purposeful effort. It means socializing and interacting with people rather than living an isolated life. One way is to pursue hobbies or activities where you are most likely to meet people who share similar values and interests as you do and that could potentially lead to a meaningful relationship.Another answer is that just because it has not happened yet does not mean that it never will. Being single and trying to find love can be difficult and frustrating, but it does not make you less of a person, nor is it a reflection of how undesirable you are.Decide what characteristics are most important to you in a marriage partner and look for someone who meets the criteria. Date with intentionality, and without compromising or being willing to settle on important issues. Being married to the right person is more important than just being married.The only way to guarantee you’ll never get married is to stop trying and do nothing about it.Myths versus facts [...]

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Is ADHD Anger a Thing?

Is ADHD Anger a Thing?

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-04-26T12:54:00+00:00April 23rd, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is characterized by difficulties in self-regulation and impulse control. Although anger is not listed as one of its official symptoms in the DSM-5-TR, studies indicate that it is, in fact, inherent to the affliction, and people with ADHD are more prone to experiencing anger and irritability than neurotypical people. Emotional dysregulation is a major part of living with ADHD for both adults and children. It makes them feel emotions much more intensely than neurotypical people do and become disproportionately overwhelmed by things such as daily responsibilities, time management, sensory overload, having to switch tasks, rejection, or fatigue, all of which can make them feel stressed and frustrated, and trigger angry outbursts or meltdowns. Effect of emotional dysregulation on ADHD anger ADHD limits your executive functioning capacity by causing significant deficits in the rational thinking part of your brain located in the prefrontal cortex. This is the area that controls the mental processes that enable you to prioritize what’s important in your surroundings, filter out what might be harmful or distracting, regulate your emotions, control your impulses, and enable you to plan and direct your behavior toward achieving a specific goal. The amygdala, on the other hand, is the emotional center of your brain that controls your fight-or-flight response. When triggered, it floods your body with stress hormones such as adrenaline, bumping up the intensity of your reactions, overpowering your prefrontal cortex, taking over the running of your brain, and hijacking control of your ability to respond rationally to the situation. Emotional dysregulation clouds your judgment and causes angry feelings to escalate quickly and intensely. Instead of thinking before you act, you react impulsively, in a way that is disproportionate to the trigger rather than responding in a more socially [...]

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Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-04-01T11:35:15+00:00April 1st, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’re not able to trust someone, there’s little foundation for a meaningful relationship with them. Trust, just like mutual respect, good communication, and love, are the key ingredients in a healthy relationship. When trust is lacking, the relationship is in a bit of a bind because it will likely lack depth and intimacy. That’s because you need to trust someone before you can be vulnerable with them. Trust issues interfere with this. What is trust? When you say you trust someone, you’re making a claim about their reliability. You can rely on their words, and you can rely on the fact that their actions have reasonable and good motivation behind them. Trust allows you to have a conversation with someone without wondering if they have a hidden agenda that will harm you. Trust is also what allows you to share yourself and be vulnerable with other people. Trust between two people develops in various ways. Often, when you spend time with someone, you get to observe them. They build a history of saying and doing things, and you can see for yourself if what they say and do match up or contradict one another. Over time, they show themselves to be dependable, and worthy of being taken at their word because they have demonstrated their character. You can be vulnerable with someone you trust, and that strengthens and deepens the relationship. In other situations, we trust people because someone we know and whose judgment we value trusts them. That’s one reason you go on a blind date with someone a trusted friend recommends. Sometimes, we trust people because they possess certain qualities that make them seem trustworthy. In other cases, we trust people because we have no choice but to take them at their word. That trust may [...]

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