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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:38+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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Five Signs of Depression in Children

Five Signs of Depression in Children

Michelle Lazurek2024-09-27T11:50:58+00:00June 19th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Depression, along with other mental health disorders, is on the rise in every age group. However, psychologists have seen a recent spike in depression cases among children. Children who exhibit signs of depression may be overt or a parent may suspect signs of something wrong but may not be able to pinpoint the exact source. Some children may be verbal regarding their symptoms, but others may hide their symptoms because of embarrassment or shame. If you’re seeing signs of depression in your child, you are not alone. If you suspect your child is depressed but are not sure here are five signs to watch out for: Disinterest in activities Depression leaves children with a lack of interest in doing the things they love the most. For example, a child who is normally busy with extracurricular activities may suddenly find they no longer want to do them. Additionally, children may want to stay in their room for long periods, watch TV, or other passive activities to help cope (or even mask) depression symptoms. Even with medication, children suffering from depression may still not want to do the things they once enjoyed. Sleeping late Similarly, children and teens who are suffering from depression may want to sleep late. Parents may find a child doesn’t want to get out of bed or sleep the day away. Parents should discourage a child from doing this. Rather, encourage the child to get up, move around, get some exercise, and take care of their physical body with nutrition and water. Normally active children may only need eight hours of sleep. Teens may need 9 to 9 1/2 hours of sleep which is important for their development. Kids suffering from depression may find they want to sleep 14 to 16 hours a day and still be [...]

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Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

Four Reasons Men’s Issues Go Untreated

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:51+00:00May 24th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

The phrase “men’s issues” is often used as a blanket term in psychotherapy. However, the term wraps around significant health concerns for men, and treating them should be taken seriously. Unfortunately, because so many men’s issues are interrelated to each other, it can be difficult for men to seek treatment. Here are four reasons men’s issues go untreated and how you can encourage the men in your life to seek help. Men’s issues may start small Many men don’t instantly when they need to seek treatment. Whether it’s difficulty controlling their anger in healthy ways or a tendency to become stressed when under pressure, men often assume this is normal and will get better. They may think, “I just need to get out and play a round of golf, and I’ll feel better.” Likewise, a glass of alcohol every evening could slowly turn into two, but they rationalize it, reasoning that it is fine because they know they’re stressed at work and also feeling pressure to pitch in more at home. However, because men’s issues tend to overlap, what seems like “the usual” stress load may be far greater – and all-encompassing – than a man realizes. For example, stress at work can come and go for anyone, man, or woman. However, when stress at work is added to a struggle with his role at work and home, it compounds the pressure a man may feel. These men’s issues can easily escalate if he is also faced with aging parents, a teenager with mood struggles or poor academic results, looming college expenses, or a transition in his spouse’s role, whether she works inside or outside the home. Any one of these can cause stress, but men may carry the load in one area without recognizing the load they’re also [...]

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Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T11:51:13+00:00May 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

For many people, getting married is one of the central goals of their life. “Will I ever get married?” is a wistful question they often ask themselves when they see their friends married, getting married, or in serious relationships and they are not. They view their singleness as an insurmountable wall separating them from happiness and wonder if there is something wrong with them and if or when it will ever be their turn. Does this resonate with you? If so, this article may be a source of encouragement and hope. Answers to the question, “Will I ever get married?” One answer is that it depends on how much effort you are willing to put into dating and looking for a potential partner. Finding a mate is not a passive process. A romance that leads to a lasting marriage often takes purposeful effort. It means socializing and interacting with people rather than living an isolated life. One way is to pursue hobbies or activities where you are most likely to meet people who share similar values and interests as you do and that could potentially lead to a meaningful relationship. Another answer is that just because it has not happened yet does not mean that it never will. Being single and trying to find love can be difficult and frustrating, but it does not make you less of a person, nor is it a reflection of how undesirable you are. Decide what characteristics are most important to you in a marriage partner and look for someone who meets the criteria. Date with intentionality, and without compromising or being willing to settle on important issues. Being married to the right person is more important than just being married. The only way to guarantee you’ll never get married is to stop [...]

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Is ADHD Anger a Thing?

Is ADHD Anger a Thing?

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T11:52:47+00:00April 23rd, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is characterized by difficulties in self-regulation and impulse control. Although anger is not listed as one of its official symptoms in the DSM-5-TR, studies indicate that it is, in fact, inherent to the affliction, and people with ADHD are more prone to experiencing anger and irritability than neurotypical people. Emotional dysregulation is a major part of living with ADHD for both adults and children. It makes them feel emotions much more intensely than neurotypical people do and become disproportionately overwhelmed by things such as daily responsibilities, time management, sensory overload, having to switch tasks, rejection, or fatigue, all of which can make them feel stressed and frustrated, and trigger angry outbursts or meltdowns. Effect of emotional dysregulation on ADHD anger ADHD limits your executive functioning capacity by causing significant deficits in the rational thinking part of your brain located in the prefrontal cortex. This is the area that controls the mental processes that enable you to prioritize what’s important in your surroundings, filter out what might be harmful or distracting, regulate your emotions, control your impulses, and enable you to plan and direct your behavior toward achieving a specific goal. The amygdala, on the other hand, is the emotional center of your brain that controls your fight-or-flight response. When triggered, it floods your body with stress hormones such as adrenaline, bumping up the intensity of your reactions, overpowering your prefrontal cortex, taking over the running of your brain, and hijacking control of your ability to respond rationally to the situation. Emotional dysregulation clouds your judgment and causes angry feelings to escalate quickly and intensely. Instead of thinking before you act, you react impulsively, in a way that is disproportionate to the trigger rather than responding in a more socially [...]

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Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:21+00:00April 1st, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’re not able to trust someone, there’s little foundation for a meaningful relationship with them. Trust, just like mutual respect, good communication, and love, are the key ingredients in a healthy relationship. When trust is lacking, the relationship is in a bit of a bind because it will likely lack depth and intimacy. That’s because you need to trust someone before you can be vulnerable with them. Trust issues interfere with this. What is trust? When you say you trust someone, you’re making a claim about their reliability. You can rely on their words, and you can rely on the fact that their actions have reasonable and good motivation behind them. Trust allows you to have a conversation with someone without wondering if they have a hidden agenda that will harm you. Trust is also what allows you to share yourself and be vulnerable with other people. Trust between two people develops in various ways. Often, when you spend time with someone, you get to observe them. They build a history of saying and doing things, and you can see for yourself if what they say and do match up or contradict one another. Over time, they show themselves to be dependable, and worthy of being taken at their word because they have demonstrated their character. You can be vulnerable with someone you trust, and that strengthens and deepens the relationship. In other situations, we trust people because someone we know and whose judgment we value trusts them. That’s one reason you go on a blind date with someone a trusted friend recommends. Sometimes, we trust people because they possess certain qualities that make them seem trustworthy. In other cases, we trust people because we have no choice but to take them at their word. That trust may [...]

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Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:30+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what you thought you knew. Your belief has not necessarily been proven false. It may just be that you [...]

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10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T11:52:06+00:00January 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-esteem is how you perceive your worth. It is self-respect. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may have trouble in relationships and social situations. Low self-esteem typically means a lack of assertiveness, which indicates you may need help building self-esteem. 10 Tips for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem is simpler than you may think. It is not easy; however, taking specific action can simplify boosting self-esteem. Here are ten steps to building self-esteem. Accept where and who you are now. There is much unhappiness in trying to return to being the version of yourself you used to be. The version you were before the loss of a family member, the end of a marriage, the birth of a child, or the move to a new state. Accepting who you are now and where you are regarding a specific life category grounds you. This acceptance provides clarity for what you want next. Catch negative thoughts. Negative thoughts and demeaning self-talk can do a great deal of damage. Vow to catch these thoughts as soon as you recognize them. Recognize the lie and look for the truth. You can change an old belief into a new one with practice. Flip these thoughts into positive self-talk. Smile. A quick tip for building self-esteem is to smile. Smiling stimulates the amygdala, releasing endorphins that brighten your mood and boost confidence. Notice how others perceive you when you greet them with a smile. You can experience a mood boost by simply smiling when you are alone. Play music. Energetic music, the kind that makes you want to dance, can boost your mood and improve your self-esteem. A song can make you feel like you can take on the world. Create a new playlist with songs that make you feel confident and strong. Be nice [...]

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Nervous Breakdown: What it Is and What to Do

Nervous Breakdown: What it Is and What to Do

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T11:52:21+00:00December 22nd, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The term nervous breakdown refers to your brain’s response to intense, unmanageable emotional distress that leaves you struggling or unable to function in your day-to-day life. It is not a medical term or an official diagnosis of a particular mental health disorder, but rather a colloquialism used to describe a temporary mental health crisis that can be frightening and immobilizing. Symptoms of a nervous breakdown. Unmanageable anxiety. Feeling vulnerable and isolated. Cancelling activities you usually enjoy. Calling in sick for work. Skipping appointments. Isolating from friends and family. Feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Feeling physically paralyzed. Difficulty performing tasks that are usually easy. Brain fog. Trouble remembering things. Trouble focusing or thinking straight. Inability to make decisions. Moodiness. Feeling depressed, burned out, fearful, helpless, or hopeless. Emotional outbursts of anger or uncontrollable crying. Inability to eat or sleep properly. Using sleep as an escape. Neglecting personal hygiene. Feeling detached or delusional. Hallucinations and paranoia. Physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, chest pain, headaches, trouble breathing, dizziness, or nausea. Panic attacks. Thoughts of suicide or self-harm. Possible causes. Taking on too many responsibilities. Too much pressure at work. Being a poor fit for a particular job. Needing to always be in control. Working long hours. Not getting enough sleep. Medical trauma. Family or financial stress. Major life change. Lack of close relationships or social support. Life circumstances that feel too much to handle. Lack of resiliency. Poor coping skills. Treatment options. The most effective treatment for a nervous breakdown is a combination of counseling and the following recommended lifestyle changes. Get adequate rest. Mental exhaustion is often at the core of a nervous breakdown. Maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and getting sufficient rest is key to recuperation. Exercise. Exercise can provide time out from the pressures of your day. [...]

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4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T11:57:38+00:00November 29th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You know that you want to improve certain aspects of your life, be it career or personal. You've researched coaches and found one that seems to be the right fit. Now you want to get the most out of your time together. How can you make sure you have an effective coaching experience? Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. – Colossians 3:23, NIV 4 Tips for an Effective Coaching Experience 1. Have definable goals. You may go into your coaching sessions with some big goals, and maybe even some specific goals, early in your time with a coach you want to make clear, definable goals for your time together and apart. Effective coaching will help you determine the best sequence of dreams and make smaller milestones toward the big goal you are trying to achieve. Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – St. Francis of Assisi 2. Set deadlines or milestones. These could be private and rather arbitrary, but by setting a deadline you create the pressure you need to achieve the results you want. The deadlines can be milestones or stepping stones. Examples include: “By the end of the week, I will…” or “In three months I need to finish…” Finding an approach that works for you can help you maximize the effectiveness of your coaching experience. Have a plan to celebrate those milestones. Maybe you watch a TV show after you accomplish your goal for the week. Perhaps you plan a coffee date with a friend after a certain deadline. Deadlines can be used to reward as well as drive you toward your goals. “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” – Nelson Mandela [...]

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