Individual Counseling Archives | Page 2 of 8

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T08:26:49+00:00April 17th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is often rooted in a childhood experience that has created an idea of who you are. For example, “I am worthy if I make this person smile or happy.” Then you develop ways that you have found work to make others happy or smile; for example, jokes, acting silly, getting good grades, not being late, working hard, and being the peacemaker. As we continue life using these ways to manage the uncomfortable feeling of rejection instead of understanding why we have this excessive need to please others, we can become overwhelmed and exhausted. It would seem to be a natural way to find a way to manage an uncomfortable feeling and make the encounter more comfortable. Perhaps you can think of a time when a parent, friend, or spouse became angry or sad and you sensed either their sadness or anger. Plano Christian Counseling can help you better understand emotional responses—your own and others’—and provide faith-based tools for healthy emotional regulation and relationship support. How does codependency work? Some may think they best manage the uncomfortable situation by avoiding the person. Or they may realize the situation becomes more manageable [...]

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How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T09:27:47+00:00April 10th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you think about relationships, do those thoughts come with warm and welcoming feelings, or are you left feeling on edge? People don’t experience relationships the same way, and how you interact with others and form relationships is influenced by your earliest interactions with others. Depending on what those interactions were like then, you may have trouble forming healthy relationships with people now. How a person relates to others and forms connections is called an attachment style. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one type of attachment style, and it has a significant impact on relationships. Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style A person’s attachment style develops early in life, especially during childhood and early adolescence. Your attachment style can change later in life, but many of your main patterns of relating to others are set early on. Plano Christian Counseling provides faith-based guidance to help individuals understand their attachment styles and build healthier, more secure relationships. We form secure attachments when our parents or caregivers provide consistent and reliable care. A secure attachment means a child feels secure and knows their parents or caregivers will meet their needs. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one of several insecure attachment styles. The anxious-avoidant style is a combination of an anxious and an avoidant attachment style. An anxious style is marked by fear of being abandoned. While desiring closeness, there’s a sensitivity toward rejection. An anxious style is often associated with low self-esteem and the fear of not being wanted around. On the other hand, an avoidant style will often involve being self-reliant and creating emotional distance from others. Being close to others may even feel uncomfortable for a person with an avoidant attachment style, and such individuals often don’t seek support from others. While having people around them, the person with an avoidant style [...]

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Fear of Abandonment: How It Develops and How It Can Affect You

Fear of Abandonment: How It Develops and How It Can Affect You

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T09:29:56+00:00April 8th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Have you ever had an experience so visceral that to this day it feels like that moment never quite left you? It could be the first time you saw the ocean, the time you fell from a tree, a time when you saw a project come together and felt alive, or perhaps when you experienced a tragic loss. Our bodies and our minds remember the things that happen to us; they leave a mark on us, even if it’s not visible. The experiences that you have will impact you in one way or the other. They may contribute to making you more fearful, adventurous, circumspect, or ambivalent. A fear of abandonment may result from certain life experiences, and it can have a profound impact on how you live your life and conduct your relationships. Fear of Abandonment Explained When a person is said to have a fear of abandonment, it means that they have an intense or deep-seated concern that they will experience desertion, rejection, or otherwise be left behind by someone that they care about a lot. This fear of abandonment can occur due to various factors such as trauma, past experiences of rejection or abandonment, or because of an insecure attachment style. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals heal from past wounds and develop secure, healthy relationships. The complex emotional issue of fearing abandonment can result in several outcomes, including feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and distress. Instead of feeling like safe places, relationships can wind up feeling like a disaster waiting to happen, diminishing one’s enjoyment of it. There are several different forms and sources of this fear of abandonment. One of them is emotional abandonment, which is when a person feels they’re not being validated by others, or they feel unseen and [...]

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Working Through Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts

Working Through Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T07:38:51+00:00April 8th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Our bodies and minds don’t always do what we tell them to. You could be on a date, and all you’re trying to do is stay calm and not come across a certain way, but there’s no guarantee that your mind and body are going to comply with this request. It can sometimes feel like your mind is actively working against you and your well-being. That’s certainly the case with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Most people can probably pinpoint a time when they felt anxious, or when a thought entered their mind unbidden. Such experiences can range from being mildly uncomfortable to being downright distressing. The good news is that they can be dealt with effectively, helping to restore calm and peace in your life. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based tools and compassionate support to help individuals manage anxiety and find lasting peace. Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts Anxiety is the feeling of nervousness, fear, or worry that you experience when you’re in a situation that feels unsettling, frightening, or threatening. When you feel anxious, it’s often accompanied by racing thoughts, feeling restless and irritable, and you may even have a rapid heartbeat and be unable to sleep. Anxiety may last for a few moments after you’ve been in a frightening situation, but it can also linger, pointing to an ongoing condition. Intrusive thoughts are distressing and unwanted images, thoughts, urges, or ideas that enter a person’s mind. These thoughts can be unwanted for a variety of reasons, including the fact that the thoughts go against one’s personal values. These two can feed off each other and worsen things. Some of the connections between them include the following: Intrusive thoughts fuel anxiety Having unwanted thoughts piling into your mind can be quite distressing, and because these thoughts come and go [...]

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What to Expect When You’re Grieving: The 7 Stages of Grief

What to Expect When You’re Grieving: The 7 Stages of Grief

Jennifer Kooshian2025-05-09T10:16:35+00:00April 7th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Experiencing loss can be painful, confusing, challenging, and deeply unsettling. One of the certainties of this life is that we all experience loss. That loss takes various forms, and while it won’t affect everyone the same way, we will all experience it. One of the ways to help you navigate grief is by making use of the seven stages of grief. The Nature of Grief Grief is the process we go through to come to terms with loss. Loss looks different for different people. Typically, we consider the death of a loved one to be a loss, but it’s not the only form of loss there is. It’s a loss if you lose your job or your home, and it’s also a loss to go through a breakup, separation, or divorce. When a person receives a terminal diagnosis or goes through a significant life transition like retirement, that is also a form of loss. When a loss occurs, it changes your life as you know it. The patterns, habits, and relationships that make up your life start to unravel, and the changes loss heralds can be deeply upsetting and unsettling. Grieving helps you come to terms with that loss. You may have heard about the five stages of grief, a model that the Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross pioneered through her work. Those five stages are denial, anger bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, another model was developed to highlight the complexities of grief; there are often other emotions and thoughts going through a person as they grieve than these five stages suggest. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals process grief in all its complexity and find hope in the healing journey. The Seven Stages of Grief The seven stages of grief are a way to help [...]

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9 Different Ways People Feel Abandoned

9 Different Ways People Feel Abandoned

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T07:27:03+00:00April 3rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Abandonment looks different from person to person. People frequently second-guess themselves. They might question if their perception of events. Likewise, they may feel as if they are overly sensitive when others who experienced the same event were not affected in the same way. Sometimes it is the events that seem to be so ordinary and commonplace that cause people to feel the deepest stabs of abandonment. Everyday Abandonment People often imagine that violent or extreme events cause trauma. However, people frequently experience abandonment trauma from subtle things they experience in relationships. These things can seem so slight, or even hard to identify, that we often overlook them, or even make excuses for them. This leads to us feeling as though we shouldn’t feel a sense of abandonment, or that we are being overly sensitive. For example, you may have a friend who cancels plans at the last minute. They gain reputations for being unreliable, and other friends might joke about their inability to commit to anything. They might have a deep reason for being this way, and because their behavior is predictable and joked about, we might make excuses for them or dismiss our frustrations with them. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals and families explore underlying issues in relationships and foster healthier, more understanding connections through faith-based support. However, if we are honest with ourselves, we might find that we feel more than frustration with them. Their constant cancellation of plans makes us feel less important to them, and we feel like we can’t rely on them anymore. Sometimes it is the common, everyday behavior that friends, family, and loved ones do that makes us feel abandoned. These are difficult things to confront because we can feel self-conscious that we are overreacting to the situation. It is only [...]

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It Takes a Village: The ABCs of Support for Single Parents

It Takes a Village: The ABCs of Support for Single Parents

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-04-23T08:01:16+00:00March 25th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

While it may take two to conceive a baby, it often takes a village to raise a child. This African proverb has long been quoted to advise and encourage parents and people around the value of being interdependent. We all need community and viable support systems to do anything meaningful with God and for societal good. This quote’s inherent wisdom reminds us that our children, one of our prized and precious resources, are of such value that we steward them best when we do it together, with shared strengths and support. Heaven’s Help Having help, but also the willingness to receive the help that’s right for us can be transformative. Even in our relationship with God, His Strength becomes most apparent and elevated during our weaknesses. Our needs do not represent an inconvenience for Him, but rather opportunities for Him to Father us. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based support to help individuals embrace their needs, receive healing, and experience the transformative power of God’s love. He builds us up not only in our direct relationship with His Holy Spirit but also through the community in which He’s created us to live. As single parents, our journey can get wearisome, but God will send the right people and reveal the right help in the places where we most need it. Life happens to all of us, and sometimes the conditions by which we find ourselves raising children alone can be devastating. We often feel the weight of disillusionment and abandonment, believing that our parenting experience would have been different from our present reality. Some become single parents by choice, and others, by circumstances such as death, divorce, or a partner’s departure. However we arrived, the fact remains that raising a family, whether with or without a co-parent is a tremendous [...]

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Ways to Help Anxiety in Aging Parents in Plano, Texas

Ways to Help Anxiety in Aging Parents in Plano, Texas

Stephanie Kramer2025-03-21T08:26:06+00:00March 20th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Anxiety can strike anyone and at any stage in life, but it is particularly prevalent in elderly people. Not only do physiological changes play a part in creating anxiety, but loss of social interaction, mobility, and independence can all contribute. As an adult child of aging parents in Plano, Texas, it can be particularly off-putting to see anxiety in aging parents, those once capable and stable caregivers. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate support and faith-based guidance to help families navigate these challenges. Ways to Support Aging Parents Dealing with Anxiety Here are a few strategies and tactics to try when your aging parents are dealing with anxiety in Plano, Texas: Talk with their doctor Anxiety in aging parents can be triggered by many factors so it’s important to rule out any medical reasons for the sudden change. It may even be a side-effect of a prescription drug. Be sure to mention the anxiety to their primary care physician and ask for any advice for their specific situation. Find a comfort item A comfort item is any tangible physical thing that brings them comfort. For some, it could be a soft or weighted blanket or stuffed animal. For others, it might be a photograph of a loved one. Experiment with different items that you think could bring them comfort and have an ample supply on hand. Keep their hands busy If your aged parent can use their hands, consider investing in a fidget toy or two. Fidget spinners, squishies, and other hand-held toys can help keep anxious hands busy and give their eyes and minds something to focus on other than what they are worried about. Hug Hugging can reduce blood pressure and bring a sense of peace to both parties. Be sure to gently and lovingly physically touch your [...]

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Emotional Neglect in Relationships: Why It Happens and How to Remedy It

Emotional Neglect in Relationships: Why It Happens and How to Remedy It

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T08:03:25+00:00March 14th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

The people you are close to play an important role in your life. One of the key predictors of well-being is whether we’re in healthy relationships with others, whether it’s with a spouse, friends, siblings, colleagues, or neighbors. Some relationships will have a deeper and more lasting impact compared to others, but the point is that as relational and social creatures, the health of our relationships is immensely important. If the health of our relationships matters for our well-being, it pays to know why those relationships can go wrong, and how to remedy it. One of the key areas where a relationship can be unhealthy is when emotional neglect is taking place. Emotional Neglect in Relationships Emotional neglect is an unfortunate reality in many relationships. Whether it’s between parents and their children, siblings, or in a romantic relationship, it’s possible for loved ones to experience emotional neglect. Emotional neglect can be understood as a type of abuse. When a person is neglected emotionally, their emotional needs are consistently ignored, dismissed, or disregarded. Plano Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance for individuals experiencing emotional neglect. What adds to the pain of emotional neglect is that the ones who are disregarding or dismissing another’s emotional needs are the same people who carry the responsibility to meet those needs. Partners, caregivers, or parents are responsible to others to meet their needs, and it’s part of what makes the relationship a healthy one. Emotional neglect can take various forms, including minimizing or trivializing the other person’s experiences; being unavailable and unresponsive when called upon; showing little to no interest in the others’ feelings, thoughts, or experiences; not providing reassurance or comfort; ignoring or dismissing the other’s emotions; withholding validation and support; and not acknowledging or apologizing for hurtful or harmful behavior. When [...]

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How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-03-21T08:19:38+00:00March 13th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Choosing to share the rest of your life with a person has a profound impact on the rest of your life. When a person gets married, they don’t know exactly what will come their way because life can be unpredictable. Ending a marriage is a big decision, and it can be one of the most painful decisions a person makes in their life. This pain is magnified when divorce and children mix. Dealing With Divorce as an Adult Getting divorced is complicated on several levels. This includes the social, legal, and moral dimensions and implications of the decision. When a person gets divorced, there is a lot they work through to get to that point, but beyond divorce lies other questions, feelings, and thoughts that need to be unpacked. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals navigate these challenges with faith-based support and guidance. Dealing with a divorce in a healthy way requires several things. Take time to heal Marriage joins two people, two lives, together into one. When a man and woman are joined together in marriage, the two become “one flesh”, and they share life. (Genesis 2:24-25, Matthew 19: 4-6) God’s intention is for people to persist in this state of unity. If that unity is broken through a divorce, it is like tearing off a piece of yourself. Your marriage may have been a difficult one, and divorce opened up new vistas, but you should still take the time to heal. Getting a divorce brings an important part of your life to an end. With that is dealing with the absence and loss of a person to whom you had significant emotional and physical ties. Sometimes, what needs to be mourned is the loss of a dream and of the potential your relationship had. That includes the [...]

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