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Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:30+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what you thought you knew. Your belief has not necessarily been proven false. It may just be that you [...]

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10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T11:52:06+00:00January 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-esteem is how you perceive your worth. It is self-respect. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may have trouble in relationships and social situations. Low self-esteem typically means a lack of assertiveness, which indicates you may need help building self-esteem. 10 Tips for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem is simpler than you may think. It is not easy; however, taking specific action can simplify boosting self-esteem. Here are ten steps to building self-esteem. Accept where and who you are now. There is much unhappiness in trying to return to being the version of yourself you used to be. The version you were before the loss of a family member, the end of a marriage, the birth of a child, or the move to a new state. Accepting who you are now and where you are regarding a specific life category grounds you. This acceptance provides clarity for what you want next. Catch negative thoughts. Negative thoughts and demeaning self-talk can do a great deal of damage. Vow to catch these thoughts as soon as you recognize them. Recognize the lie and look for the truth. You can change an old belief into a new one with practice. Flip these thoughts into positive self-talk. Smile. A quick tip for building self-esteem is to smile. Smiling stimulates the amygdala, releasing endorphins that brighten your mood and boost confidence. Notice how others perceive you when you greet them with a smile. You can experience a mood boost by simply smiling when you are alone. Play music. Energetic music, the kind that makes you want to dance, can boost your mood and improve your self-esteem. A song can make you feel like you can take on the world. Create a new playlist with songs that make you feel confident and strong. Be nice [...]

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Nervous Breakdown: What it Is and What to Do

Nervous Breakdown: What it Is and What to Do

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T11:52:21+00:00December 22nd, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

The term nervous breakdown refers to your brain’s response to intense, unmanageable emotional distress that leaves you struggling or unable to function in your day-to-day life. It is not a medical term or an official diagnosis of a particular mental health disorder, but rather a colloquialism used to describe a temporary mental health crisis that can be frightening and immobilizing. Symptoms of a nervous breakdown. Unmanageable anxiety. Feeling vulnerable and isolated. Cancelling activities you usually enjoy. Calling in sick for work. Skipping appointments. Isolating from friends and family. Feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Feeling physically paralyzed. Difficulty performing tasks that are usually easy. Brain fog. Trouble remembering things. Trouble focusing or thinking straight. Inability to make decisions. Moodiness. Feeling depressed, burned out, fearful, helpless, or hopeless. Emotional outbursts of anger or uncontrollable crying. Inability to eat or sleep properly. Using sleep as an escape. Neglecting personal hygiene. Feeling detached or delusional. Hallucinations and paranoia. Physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, chest pain, headaches, trouble breathing, dizziness, or nausea. Panic attacks. Thoughts of suicide or self-harm. Possible causes. Taking on too many responsibilities. Too much pressure at work. Being a poor fit for a particular job. Needing to always be in control. Working long hours. Not getting enough sleep. Medical trauma. Family or financial stress. Major life change. Lack of close relationships or social support. Life circumstances that feel too much to handle. Lack of resiliency. Poor coping skills. Treatment options. The most effective treatment for a nervous breakdown is a combination of counseling and the following recommended lifestyle changes. Get adequate rest. Mental exhaustion is often at the core of a nervous breakdown. Maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and getting sufficient rest is key to recuperation. Exercise. Exercise can provide time out from the pressures of your day. [...]

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4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:02:48+00:00November 29th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You know that you want to improve certain aspects of your life, be it career or personal. You've researched coaches and found one that seems to be the right fit. Now you want to get the most out of your time together. How can you make sure you have an effective coaching experience? Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. – Colossians 3:23, NIV 4 Tips for an Effective Coaching Experience 1. Have definable goals. You may go into your coaching sessions with some big goals, and maybe even some specific goals, early in your time with a coach you want to make clear, definable goals for your time together and apart. Effective coaching will help you determine the best sequence of dreams and make smaller milestones toward the big goal you are trying to achieve. Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – St. Francis of Assisi 2. Set deadlines or milestones. These could be private and rather arbitrary, but by setting a deadline you create the pressure you need to achieve the results you want. The deadlines can be milestones or stepping stones. Examples include: “By the end of the week, I will…” or “In three months I need to finish…” Finding an approach that works for you can help you maximize the effectiveness of your coaching experience. Have a plan to celebrate those milestones. Maybe you watch a TV show after you accomplish your goal for the week. Perhaps you plan a coffee date with a friend after a certain deadline. Deadlines can be used to reward as well as drive you toward your goals. “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” – Nelson Mandela [...]

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Understanding Attachment Issues: 4 Attachment Styles

Understanding Attachment Issues: 4 Attachment Styles

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T12:00:00+00:00November 15th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The concept of “attachment issues” has become a bit of a buzzword, with a distinct lack of clarity around what it means and how it plays out in practice. The picture that comes to mind is of someone who has trouble maintaining healthy adult relationships, who is overly clingy, or behaves in a toxic way. Understanding Attachment Issues Understanding attachment issues requires getting to grips with attachment theory and attachment styles, which relate to how a person experienced attachment as a child. Four attachment styles. The attachment theory which was pioneered by John Bowlby in 1946 defined attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings”. His work focused on babies who had either strong or weak emotional connections with their mothers. The four main types of attachment, which can apply in childhood through adulthood, include: 1. Secure attachment. If a baby trusted their primary caregiver and formed a close, healthy bond with them in their early years, this caregiver gave the infant a secure base from which to explore the world. This is the best possible situation because it hardwires the individual’s brain to feel valued and accepted by other people, and they in turn value and accept other people. In adulthood, people who experienced a secure attachment will likely function well in relationships, trusting people (who merit trust), and being able to regulate their emotions apart from others. 2. Anxious-preoccupied. If a mother or other primary caregiver was inconsistent or slow in responding to an infant’s needs or failed to meet them in some way, a child may demonstrate an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. This can lead to attachment issues in adulthood, with the person generally experiencing a negative view of themselves in relation to others. This means that in relationships, they crave intimacy and want to feel [...]

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Overeating Disorder Recovery

Overeating Disorder Recovery

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:07:35+00:00August 26th, 2023|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Eating disorders, like anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge eating disorder (overeating disorder) can be fatal without treatment. Recovery from overeating disorder and other eating disorders is possible. Tips for Overeating Disorder Recovery Seek professional help. Overeating disorder can coexist with anxiety and mood disorders. You may struggle with poor body image, negative self-worth, and low self-esteem. The compulsive behavior tricks you into believing you lack self-control and are helpless. This is not true. The first step is to seek professional help. One option is to contact our office at Plano Christian Counseling to schedule an appointment with a license counselor. Stay away from the scale. We can become obsessed with the numbers on the scale. If you struggle with body dysmorphia, poor body image, or low self-esteem, you may need to avoid the scale until you are well into recovery. The number on the scale is simply a number that relates to gravitational pull. It does not consider how much muscle you gain in your workouts, fluid retention, or any other factor. If you are a woman, your weight may fluctuate throughout your cycle, weighing more on the days leading up to your period and during the week of ovulation. Consider using a tape measure to track the lost inches and smaller clothing sizes instead of the scale. Identify negative self-talk. How do you talk to yourself? Are your words worse than you would say to others? We are often harder on ourselves than we are on others. Critical and negative self-talk belittles your motivation and self-esteem. The negative thoughts you hear may be echoes from words spoken over you in the past. You need to learn to let those words go. A counselor can help you identify and reframe those thoughts. Work on getting healthier. Although it is [...]

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Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:04:50+00:00August 15th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

At times, the world can appear as a warm, lively place, brimming with possibility. At other times, it seems cold and full of loneliness. Jesus was fully aware of these contradictions and complexities in the world He entered as well as the one in which we currently live. As the stairway between God and humans, He came to redeem the lost connection (John 1:51). While it seems that many would embrace His gift of sacrifice and salvation, others rejected Him. In a matter of days, those who cheered Him, shouting Hosanna, countered their initial cries, insisting on His crucifixion (Mark 11:9-10; 15:13-14). The pain of rejection is real, and it can produce a feeling of “otherness,” a loneliness that the APA characterizes as affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary. Yet, this jumbled assortment of experience and emotion doesn’t cancel us out of the books that are written about us in Heaven (Psalm 56:8). As the Everlasting Father, God committed to developing us into all He envisioned us to be. The challenge is we may have discounted ourselves because we agreed with those who rejected us. If rejection’s message of disapproval, denial of attention, and love influenced us in childhood or vulnerable times, we may have come to believe that those negative words were true. Jesus knows the range of conflicts we experience in our emotions as He was fully God and human during the time of His earthly ministry. Scripture describes Him as well-acquainted with sorrows and grief, to the degree that people hid their faces from Him (Isaiah 53:3). The prophet Isaiah’s description of the Messiah sounds like someone we can identify with when it comes to rejection and the loneliness that may play a role in [...]

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Resolving Conflict in the Workplace

Resolving Conflict in the Workplace

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:05:07+00:00June 16th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

The workplace has become a major area of life in the past few decades. Because there is so much time spent at work there will inevitably be conflict in the workplace. Any type of conflict can reduce the workflow and decrease the positive atmosphere. Everyone must know how to resolve conflicts. This will create a healthy work atmosphere for everyone. A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1, NASB No matter how big or type of business there will be conflict because there are people present. These conflicts do not have to disrupt the workday. The ability to meet the conflict head-on with resolution will also keep the employees from facing burnout. The best way to resolve conflict is to have leadership that can recognize and address conflict. Three conflicts and resolutions Since many personalities are working together, the most common conflict in the workplace that occurs revolves around how people interact with people. Some conflicts occur that are more personal. No matter the cause there are ways to successfully resolve any type of conflict. Leadership conflict. This is one of the most common types of conflict. Every manager or leader has an idea about productively leading a team. This idea is not always the same for everyone. When there is a decision that causes conflict within the team, the leader must be able to identify and resolve the issue. Here are a few types of conflicts in this area: Decision-making: These conflicts occur when leaders of different areas disagree on a decision. Goals: A manager who has a goal that doesn’t align with the company may cause a conflict within the company and department. Roles: If a manager isn’t clear about their responsibilities it can lead to confusion within the [...]

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After the Affair: Can Trust Be Restored?

After the Affair: Can Trust Be Restored?

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T10:07:56+00:00May 26th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity is not an easy thing to heal from. Finding out that that your spouse has cheated on you can be devastating. It’s like receiving a sucker punch to your gut that leaves you reeling in shock and disbelief. Overcoming a breach of trust is one of the most difficult issues for a relationship to survive, but God is a healer of broken hearts, and with His help, it is possible to rebuild trust even after the affair. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending. – Maria Robinson What not to do after the affair The initial shock of discovering that a partner has been unfaithful and the flooding emotions are normal. Reactions sparked by this may seem reasonable and justifiable at the moment but will hinder healing and likely lead to regrets later on. Avoid telling everyone about it. Before you impulsively tell everyone what your spouse has done, allow yourself and your partner time to discuss and determine how you want to proceed going forward, what you are going to share, and with whom. Avoid blasting your cheating spouse on social media. Once you put something out on social media it lives forever even if you later decide to delete it. Avoid making life-altering decisions. Acting impulsively while your thinking is clouded, such as filing for divorce or retaliating by having an affair of your own, can make any possibility of healing your relationship more difficult. Take time to think things through before doing anything rash. Avoid obsessing over the person your partner had an affair with. Hyper fixating on the other person, stalking him or her on social media, or allowing obsessive thoughts of him or her to consume your mind can only make [...]

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Loved and Found: The Healing Power that Overcomes Trauma and Shame

Loved and Found: The Healing Power that Overcomes Trauma and Shame

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:05:16+00:00May 2nd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Humans are curious creatures. We are breathing miracles that embody the creative brilliance of the King of the Universe. He isn’t an aloof God, externalized from our infirmities and issues, but rather the one Lord and Father of all, who isn’t far from any of us (Acts 17:27) even in our trauma and shame. That Truth comes alive in and for those who accept the olive branch of The Father’s Offering, in Jesus. As God’s Son and our Savior, Jesus poured His entire life to reconcile us with the Father, receive us into the family, making us righteous–all by faith in Christ. God’s abundant affection toward us characterizes the miracle of salvation, but our own diminished self-worth causes us to wrestle with giving and receiving a Love this relentless, raw, and real. Our relationship with God, ourselves, and others would ideally be characterized by all the Father initiates and imparts, but the same complications that entered Eden, afflict us, too. When we search outside of God and His expansive provision, we stumble and injure ourselves in search of identity and validation. We scout for attention, affirmation, and affection in the wrong places, though we were already created in and for love by our God who is Love. In response to the Father, we love and learn how to receive and rest in it for ourselves, return it to Him, and release it to others. The pathology of trauma and shame A soul that injures itself operates similarly to an auto-immune deficiency. Many times, when we have been infected by trauma, our hearts and minds behave with the same pattern where dis-ease deconstructs the body from the inside out. When infirmity causes the body to become confused, it wars against itself. It mistakes the agents that promote health and help, [...]

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