Personal Development Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

How Self-Compassion Can Help With Depression

How Self-Compassion Can Help With Depression

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2025-06-26T08:40:31+00:00June 26th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Self-compassion means having a positive attitude toward yourself that enables you to get through difficult times in life. Along with this attitude comes the ability to treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Self-compassion includes self-talk and self-care activities, which will be discussed in more detail. When you find yourself feeling more down than usual or even struggling with clinical depression (depressed mood that lasts longer than two weeks and includes other symptoms), what is your internal dialogue? Are you kind and compassionate or critical and neglectful of yourself? Self-talk or internal dialogue is often self-critical, negative, and hurtful. Your internal dialogue likely includes things that you would never say to a friend, especially one who is facing a difficult time or feeling depressed. Do you criticize yourself for being lazy, ungrateful, angry, or irritable? Or is your inner dialogue kind, compassionate, and encouraging to yourself? Even if you tend to be critical and negative, you can choose and intentionally change this narrative, which can help with depression. Please note that self-compassion is not self-pity, as it involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Self-compassion is acknowledging your imperfections as a human and recognizing that suffering is a part of the human experience, and having the self-awareness to know that there are things you can do that will help. Self-pity involves indulgence and feeling sorry for yourself without the desire to feel better. It is important to care for yourself during a difficult time with the confidence that you will feel better. It is also believing and trusting that God is with you and will help you. Romans 12:2 says, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” It can be difficult to have positive thoughts when feeling depressed. Perhaps you are [...]

Comments Off

The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-06-12T10:05:21+00:00June 12th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Emotions are a big part of how you experience your life. They shape the way you see the world, make decisions, and react to the ups and downs of life. But what can happen is that emotions take charge and trick you into thinking things that aren’t true. If you let them, they can twist your thoughts, making situations seem worse than they are. This is called distorted thinking, and it probably happens to you more than you’d think. Distorted emotions are like a filter, and through it, everything seems darker and more difficult than it really is. You can have a small argument with a friend, and then an emotional response will make you think, “They don’t care about me,” even when there’s no proof. These kinds of thoughts feel real at the moment, but they’re not the truth; they’re just emotions blurring reality. With some awareness of how your brain may conjure up this wrong way of thinking, it’s possible to spot these patterns, and then you can change them. Why do you have emotions? Emotions come from a part of your brain called the amygdala. It’s the one that helps you respond to things around you. These emotional responses are part of what keeps you safe and balanced. The amygdala normally processes feelings like fear and anger, where chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin create sensations of either happiness or sadness. These emotions are the brain’s way of helping us respond quickly to the world around us. This is the way your brain knows, for example, that fear signals danger, and joy means something good is around. Through it all, the brain is supposed to remain in charge of your thoughts by rationalizing and balancing your reactions with what is real. Everyone experiences emotional highs and [...]

Comments Off

Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Self-Forgiveness: Learning How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Important

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-03-22T06:01:59+00:00February 25th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Ever find it hard to forgive yourself? Or asked how to forgive yourself? You are not alone. Forgiveness itself can be a difficult task. Even the band Chicago devoted a whole song about it Hard To Say I’m Sorry. Self-forgiveness can seem impossible and hopeless but when achieved it produces healing and freedom. The inability to forgive yourself can cause some significant issues. Shame Shame is the reason why forgiving yourself can seem impossible. Behind shame is a negative core belief of “I am bad.” A negative core belief is something that we believe to be true but is not. Walking around with this belief can lead to feelings of insecurity and behaviors that go along with it. Plano Christian Counseling can help you break free from shame, embrace self-forgiveness, and find healing through faith-based support. It can be difficult to recognize when shame is tainting your view, but damaging, nonetheless. Shame says “You don’t deserve forgiveness.” or “You are not worthy of forgiveness.” These thoughts from shame can cause you to feel stuck. Imagine shame as a dark prison cell – dark because shame festers and grows in darkness. Darkness allows for secrecy so others will not learn the lie that shame has told you (“You are bad.”) Shame festers in this darkness by convincing you “Oh if he/she only knew…” which causes you to feel isolated. The prison cell bars are the lies shame tells you that keep you locked in. Walking aimlessly, desperately searching for a way out of pitch-black darkness. So how can you overcome shame and free yourself from the dark prison cell? First, we need some light. Humbly ask the Light of the World, Jesus, into your cell (1 John 1:5). Don’t feel hesitant, because the truth is He already knows. Ask Him [...]

Comments Off

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T18:28:21+00:00January 31st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Does the turn of the new year excite you? Do you think about what you want for your future? Or have you been living the same year repeatedly, much like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? You were created for a purpose, and it is not to repeat the same year over again. You can get clear on what you should do with a personal development plan. Why You Need a Personal Development Plan A personal development plan identifies your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It uncovers what you need to learn or do to accomplish your goals. New skills will take you higher than you have ever been before in your personal and professional life. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals create and achieve their personal development goals. The following are more benefits of creating a personal development plan. It motivates you to accomplish goals A personal development plan motivates you to accomplish goals that otherwise might be out of reach. It gets to the bottom of why you want to achieve a specific goal. When the tasks to reach the goal become challenging and you no longer feel motivated, the reason why you chose this goal will motivate you once more. A personal development plan keeps you focused on the reason behind the goal. It teaches you goal setting principles There is an art to setting goals; people who understand the principles and follow through achieve more than those who make vague statements. Anyone can declare that they want to do something, but it will probably never happen if they do not make their goal specific and time bound. It helps identify your strengths and weaknesses To reach the next level, you must honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. You will also need to [...]

Comments Off

Easing Stress When Moving to a New House

Easing Stress When Moving to a New House

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-25T15:44:04+00:00December 30th, 2024|Anxiety, Christian Counseling for Children, Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Personal Development|

Relocating your whole life is not an easy thing to do. Moving house is one of the more stressful things that an average person goes through. That’s one of the reasons why one can read the biblical stories in Exodus and Numbers of the ancient Israelites grumbling on their desert sojourn with some sympathy. Imagine settling and uprooting yourself and your family so often! Unfortunately, moving house, while being extremely stressful, is one of the realities that we must contend with at some point in our lives. For many of us, we’d rather remain rooted right where we are. There is a sense of comfort, familiarity, and security in being in one place and building our lives there. And so, when a move needs to happen, it can be disruptive, unpleasant, and stressful. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help you navigate the transition with faith-based guidance and support, so you can find peace and stability in the midst of change. Why Moving House Is Stressful There are many reasons why moving house is stressful. Sometimes it’s the reasons behind the move that make it stressful, while in many cases the simple fact of moving itself is the issue. Each of us has our own level of tolerance for change and disruption to our daily routines. Often, it’s only when your routine is disturbed – when you don’t get that morning coffee or your morning commute is disrupted – that you see how out of sorts you are for the rest of the day. Moving house can be stressful for the following reasons: The circumstances behind the move There are many reasons why people move. Sometimes, those reasons are less than pleasant, and that can add to the stress one experiences. If you need to move because [...]

Comments Off

Causes and Signs of a Strained Relationship

Causes and Signs of a Strained Relationship

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-25T16:47:53+00:00November 28th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

When people get along swimmingly, they enjoy spending time with each other, and they expend effort to create opportunities to have more shared experiences. This is how trust is built over time, and that is how long-lasting bonds are formed. However, even the healthiest relationship can find itself under pressure, and the people in the relationship on less than friendly terms. Plano Christian Counseling is here to help you navigate these difficult seasons, offering faith-based guidance to restore understanding, strengthen trust, and rebuild meaningful connections. When a relationship is strained, it can affect how the relationship functions and how the people in it feel about each other. Relationship strain happens, but it’s possible to resolve the tensions in the relationship to restore it stronger than ever before. What Strains Relationships? What does it mean to say that a relationship is strained? When a relationship is described as “strained” it means that it’s a relationship in which relations aren’t normal, and that is plagued by one or more problems that have the result of denying the people in the relationship their needs. A strained relationship goes beyond the rough patches or difficult seasons that even the most healthy and loving partnerships experience every so often. In a healthy relationship, conflict is resolved through clear communication that helps the relationship remain stable even as issues are dealt with. In strained relationships, by contrast, issues aren’t resolved well, and this leads to escalating conflict and increasing anger and isolation in the relationship. Whatever the issues are, whether it’s about money, sex, parenting, or goals, the relationship takes on strain when it begins to break down the bonds between the people in the relationship. When a relationship is strained, the differences that exist between people become a wedge that separates them. [...]

Comments Off

The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-27T07:57:31+00:00October 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It’s easy to take it for granted that you know yourself. After all, you’ve spent every waking (and sleeping) moment of your life with yourself, so surely there aren’t any surprises left or illusions you have about yourself, right? For many of us, the truth is that we act in ways that seem inconsistent with who we say or think we are. Words come from our mouths that make us wonder, “Where did that come from?” Without self-reflection, we are mysteries even to ourselves. We are layered and complex beings. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about who we are; we have high hopes for ourselves, but we disappoint ourselves. We can try to motivate ourselves to act in certain ways but fail to gain traction because the motivation just doesn’t speak to us as much as we thought it would. All this points to the idea that we might not know ourselves as well as we think. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based guidance to help individuals gain self-awareness, find clarity, and grow in their personal and spiritual journey. Self-reflection through journaling Taking time out for self-reflection is crucial to developing your self-understanding. As you reflect, you can ponder over your actions, thoughts, reactions, and feelings to the things you encountered during your day or week. Ask yourself what challenged you, what inspired you, what puzzled you, or what stirred up powerful emotions such as fear or anger. Life gets busy, which means intentionality toward self-reflection is key. As you self-reflect, you don’t necessarily have to do it with a journal. A journal is helpful because you can always go back and refer to it. It captures the moment in ways that your memory might not, which makes it a valuable tool. With journaling apps out there in addition to [...]

Comments Off

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-27T09:39:47+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. At Plano Christian Counseling, we walk alongside you in your journey of faith, offering biblical wisdom and compassionate support to help you persevere through life’s challenges. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes [...]

Comments Off

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-03-29T02:52:34+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. At Plano Christian Counseling, we help individuals develop healthy, effective communication skills rooted in biblical wisdom, fostering stronger connections in personal and professional relationships. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if [...]

Comments Off

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Kate Motaung2025-03-29T03:44:08+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support for those struggling with spiritual doubts, life transitions, and personal challenges. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what [...]

Comments Off

Personal Development

CONTACT INFO

Plano Christian Counseling

ABOUT US