Personal Development Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

Why You Need a Personal Development Plan and How to Get Started

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-01-31T10:30:23+00:00January 31st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Does the turn of the new year excite you? Do you think about what you want for your future? Or have you been living the same year repeatedly, much like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day? You were created for a purpose, and it is not to repeat the same year over again. You can get clear on what you should do with a personal development plan. Why You Need a Personal Development Plan A personal development plan identifies your goals, strengths, and weaknesses. It uncovers what you need to learn or do to accomplish your goals. New skills will take you higher than you have ever been before in your personal and professional life. The following are more benefits of creating a personal development plan. It motivates you to accomplish goals A personal development plan motivates you to accomplish goals that otherwise might be out of reach. It gets to the bottom of why you want to achieve a specific goal. When the tasks to reach the goal become challenging and you no longer feel motivated, the reason why you chose this goal will motivate you once more. A personal development plan keeps you focused on the reason behind the goal. It teaches you goal setting principles There is an art to setting goals; people who understand the principles and follow through achieve more than those who make vague statements. Anyone can declare that they want to do something, but it will probably never happen if they do not make their goal specific and time bound. It helps identify your strengths and weaknesses To reach the next level, you must honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. You will also need to discern what strengths you want to build upon and what weaknesses you need to tackle first. [...]

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Easing Stress When Moving to a New House

Easing Stress When Moving to a New House

Jennifer Kooshian2024-12-30T07:03:08+00:00December 30th, 2024|Anxiety, Christian Counseling for Children, Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Personal Development|

Relocating your whole life is not an easy thing to do. Moving house is one of the more stressful things that an average person goes through. That’s one of the reasons why one can read the biblical stories in Exodus and Numbers of the ancient Israelites grumbling on their desert sojourn with some sympathy. Imagine settling and uprooting yourself and your family so often! Unfortunately, moving house, while being extremely stressful, is one of the realities that we must contend with at some point in our lives. For many of us, we’d rather remain rooted right where we are. There is a sense of comfort, familiarity, and security in being in one place and building our lives there. And so, when a move needs to happen, it can be disruptive, unpleasant, and stressful. Why Moving House Is Stressful There are many reasons why moving house is stressful. Sometimes it’s the reasons behind the move that make it stressful, while in many cases the simple fact of moving itself is the issue. Each of us has our own level of tolerance for change and disruption to our daily routines. Often, it’s only when your routine is disturbed – when you don’t get that morning coffee or your morning commute is disrupted – that you see how out of sorts you are for the rest of the day. Moving house can be stressful for the following reasons: The circumstances behind the move There are many reasons why people move. Sometimes, those reasons are less than pleasant, and that can add to the stress one experiences. If you need to move because you couldn’t keep up with the mortgage payments, or if you’re moving due to a loss in the family, or if you’re moving to be close enough to support [...]

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Causes and Signs of a Strained Relationship

Causes and Signs of a Strained Relationship

Jennifer Kooshian2024-11-29T06:30:34+00:00November 28th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

When people get along swimmingly, they enjoy spending time with each other, and they expend effort to create opportunities to have more shared experiences. This is how trust is built over time, and that is how long-lasting bonds are formed. However, even the healthiest relationship can find itself under pressure, and the people in the relationship on less than friendly terms. When a relationship is strained, it can affect how the relationship functions and how the people in it feel about each other. Relationship strain happens, but it’s possible to resolve the tensions in the relationship to restore it stronger than ever before. What Strains Relationships? What does it mean to say that a relationship is strained? When a relationship is described as “strained” it means that it’s a relationship in which relations aren’t normal, and that is plagued by one or more problems that have the result of denying the people in the relationship their needs. A strained relationship goes beyond the rough patches or difficult seasons that even the most healthy and loving partnerships experience every so often. In a healthy relationship, conflict is resolved through clear communication that helps the relationship remain stable even as issues are dealt with. In strained relationships, by contrast, issues aren’t resolved well, and this leads to escalating conflict and increasing anger and isolation in the relationship. Whatever the issues are, whether it’s about money, sex, parenting, or goals, the relationship takes on strain when it begins to break down the bonds between the people in the relationship. When a relationship is strained, the differences that exist between people become a wedge that separates them. Under normal circumstances, those differences would be appreciated and dealt with in ways that promote the health of the relationship and one another. Some of [...]

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The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-18T13:52:46+00:00October 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It’s easy to take it for granted that you know yourself. After all, you’ve spent every waking (and sleeping) moment of your life with yourself, so surely there aren’t any surprises left or illusions you have about yourself, right? For many of us, the truth is that we act in ways that seem inconsistent with who we say or think we are. Words come from our mouths that make us wonder, “Where did that come from?” Without self-reflection, we are mysteries even to ourselves. We are layered and complex beings. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about who we are; we have high hopes for ourselves, but we disappoint ourselves. We can try to motivate ourselves to act in certain ways but fail to gain traction because the motivation just doesn’t speak to us as much as we thought it would. All this points to the idea that we might not know ourselves as well as we think. Self-reflection through journaling Taking time out for self-reflection is crucial to developing your self-understanding. As you reflect, you can ponder over your actions, thoughts, reactions, and feelings to the things you encountered during your day or week. Ask yourself what challenged you, what inspired you, what puzzled you, or what stirred up powerful emotions such as fear or anger. Life gets busy, which means intentionality toward self-reflection is key. As you self-reflect, you don’t necessarily have to do it with a journal. A journal is helpful because you can always go back and refer to it. It captures the moment in ways that your memory might not, which makes it a valuable tool. With journaling apps out there in addition to written journals, it’s easier than ever to set your thoughts and reflections to paper. Taking the time to reflect through journaling [...]

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Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

Joy in the Journey: Strategies to Navigate Anxiety, Spiritual, and Personal Development

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:24+00:00July 16th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

No matter who we are or what we encounter in life, challenges will be embedded as part of our spiritual and personal development. While circumstances can produce anxiety, God doesn’t intend to hurt us through what He allows in our lives. It is quite the opposite. As we develop fortitude amid struggles, we also encounter the reward of the Lord’s Presence. Always with us, the Holy Spirit is the treasure in earthen vessels who reveals unforeseen blessings in times of unprecedented suffering. Instead of abandoning our anticipation for God’s goodness, the Lord arises when we cling to Him in hope, scattering the enemies of doubt and destruction. When we apply and exercise what the Holy Spirit teaches in life’s classroom, we develop the kind of personal habits and spiritual character that shift spiritual atmospheres and overcome evil. Our obedience and alignment with the Word flood the Light of Christ in our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. He illuminates our ways, dispelling darkness and directing us away from harmful patterns that hijack the life of peace and joy we are created to live (Job 22:28). When we choose to rivet our attention on Jesus, we encounter the richness of a Holy God who makes everything new (Revelation 21:5). The fruit of our development and deliverance may appear differently from one season to the next. Despite it all, our Savior continually elevates us into other realms of His glory and experiences of His manifest Presence (2 Corinthians 3:18). Speak the truth to encourage personal development We assert godly authority when we change our internal dialogue to align with the Father’s original design. Speaking His Truth establishes us in triumph when we commit to saying what He says about us, by faith, not necessarily our feelings. When we do, angels hear and follow [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:30:38+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Guidance for When You are Questioning Faith and Your Spiritual Beliefs

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:55:30+00:00March 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The things that we know to be true help us to make sense of our world as we make our way through it. The truths and values that we consider foundational help us to interpret our daily experiences and to make decisions that will hopefully lead to an enjoyable and meaningful life. That is why it can be deeply upsetting and disorienting when our foundations start to crumble, our lives stop making sense like they used to, and we begin questioning our spiritual beliefs. One of the foundations that people build their lives upon is their faith and the spiritual beliefs that are attached to that faith. Those foundations can be affected by various things, and it is possible to begin questioning that faith. Why we question our spiritual beliefs The author C.S. Lewis once wrote that people are not entirely ruled by reason. It is a bad assumption to think that once someone accepts something as true, they will automatically continue regarding it as true until they encounter some compelling reason for reconsidering it. However, we are often ruled by our imagination and our emotions, and these can sway us from what we may know to be true. Faith, in the Christian sense, is not believing something despite the evidence. Rather, it is placing your trust in God and living like you believe what you have come to know to be true. There are several ways in which one’s spiritual beliefs about what they know to be true can waver. One can question what they believe for many reasons. A fresh experience When you encounter something you had not considered before, or you experience a tragedy, it can challenge what you thought you knew. Your belief has not necessarily been proven false. It may just be that you [...]

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10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

10 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T11:52:06+00:00January 19th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-esteem is how you perceive your worth. It is self-respect. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may have trouble in relationships and social situations. Low self-esteem typically means a lack of assertiveness, which indicates you may need help building self-esteem. 10 Tips for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem is simpler than you may think. It is not easy; however, taking specific action can simplify boosting self-esteem. Here are ten steps to building self-esteem. Accept where and who you are now. There is much unhappiness in trying to return to being the version of yourself you used to be. The version you were before the loss of a family member, the end of a marriage, the birth of a child, or the move to a new state. Accepting who you are now and where you are regarding a specific life category grounds you. This acceptance provides clarity for what you want next. Catch negative thoughts. Negative thoughts and demeaning self-talk can do a great deal of damage. Vow to catch these thoughts as soon as you recognize them. Recognize the lie and look for the truth. You can change an old belief into a new one with practice. Flip these thoughts into positive self-talk. Smile. A quick tip for building self-esteem is to smile. Smiling stimulates the amygdala, releasing endorphins that brighten your mood and boost confidence. Notice how others perceive you when you greet them with a smile. You can experience a mood boost by simply smiling when you are alone. Play music. Energetic music, the kind that makes you want to dance, can boost your mood and improve your self-esteem. A song can make you feel like you can take on the world. Create a new playlist with songs that make you feel confident and strong. Be nice [...]

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4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

4 Ways to Experience Effective Coaching

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:02:48+00:00November 29th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

You know that you want to improve certain aspects of your life, be it career or personal. You've researched coaches and found one that seems to be the right fit. Now you want to get the most out of your time together. How can you make sure you have an effective coaching experience? Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. – Colossians 3:23, NIV 4 Tips for an Effective Coaching Experience 1. Have definable goals. You may go into your coaching sessions with some big goals, and maybe even some specific goals, early in your time with a coach you want to make clear, definable goals for your time together and apart. Effective coaching will help you determine the best sequence of dreams and make smaller milestones toward the big goal you are trying to achieve. Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – St. Francis of Assisi 2. Set deadlines or milestones. These could be private and rather arbitrary, but by setting a deadline you create the pressure you need to achieve the results you want. The deadlines can be milestones or stepping stones. Examples include: “By the end of the week, I will…” or “In three months I need to finish…” Finding an approach that works for you can help you maximize the effectiveness of your coaching experience. Have a plan to celebrate those milestones. Maybe you watch a TV show after you accomplish your goal for the week. Perhaps you plan a coffee date with a friend after a certain deadline. Deadlines can be used to reward as well as drive you toward your goals. “Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.” – Nelson Mandela [...]

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Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Seen by the Savior: Overcoming Loneliness and the Wound of Rejection

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:04:50+00:00August 15th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

At times, the world can appear as a warm, lively place, brimming with possibility. At other times, it seems cold and full of loneliness. Jesus was fully aware of these contradictions and complexities in the world He entered as well as the one in which we currently live. As the stairway between God and humans, He came to redeem the lost connection (John 1:51). While it seems that many would embrace His gift of sacrifice and salvation, others rejected Him. In a matter of days, those who cheered Him, shouting Hosanna, countered their initial cries, insisting on His crucifixion (Mark 11:9-10; 15:13-14). The pain of rejection is real, and it can produce a feeling of “otherness,” a loneliness that the APA characterizes as affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary. Yet, this jumbled assortment of experience and emotion doesn’t cancel us out of the books that are written about us in Heaven (Psalm 56:8). As the Everlasting Father, God committed to developing us into all He envisioned us to be. The challenge is we may have discounted ourselves because we agreed with those who rejected us. If rejection’s message of disapproval, denial of attention, and love influenced us in childhood or vulnerable times, we may have come to believe that those negative words were true. Jesus knows the range of conflicts we experience in our emotions as He was fully God and human during the time of His earthly ministry. Scripture describes Him as well-acquainted with sorrows and grief, to the degree that people hid their faces from Him (Isaiah 53:3). The prophet Isaiah’s description of the Messiah sounds like someone we can identify with when it comes to rejection and the loneliness that may play a role in [...]

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