Relationship Issues Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

Benefits of Premarital Counseling Questions

Benefits of Premarital Counseling Questions

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-08-27T05:34:50+00:00August 26th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting married is always a special time in a person’s life. We want to do the right things and take the right steps to cultivate a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Premarital counseling questions can help identify areas of concern that can be addressed before marriage. These questions can also help the couple understand the expectations about marriage. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:6-7, NIV Benefits of premarital counseling questions When a couple engages on a deeper level about their expectations for marriage, they can create a strong bond that will help them navigate the hard times. It can help them identify areas that could cause conflict and be able to address those issues positively and productively. Discussing expectations By discussing expectations in the confines of the marriage, the couple can come to an understanding of their role in creating a stable and healthy household. Healthy conflict resolution Developing skills for conflict management can reduce tension and disagreements in the future. Healthy conflict resolution also includes listening and understanding the other person’s feelings. Healthy communication In any relationship, communication is vital. This includes active, listening, and understanding what is being said, as well as responding in a healthy manner. Discussing hard topics Hard topics like finances, intimacy, and children can be hard to discuss. Identifying the conflicts and reaching resolutions can help the couple agree on future goals. Examine the values in needs Being able to openly discuss rules will reduce tension about certain areas of life. Learning to work through disagreements about responsibilities, beliefs, and needs will cultivate a healthy marriage. Identifying family behavior patterns Taking time to discuss the behavior patterns that have been a part of each [...]

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6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

6 Tips for Better Communication in Relationships

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-07-30T19:59:14+00:00July 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A failure to use effective communication in relationships means a failure to connect with others. It’s one thing to be aware of these intimacy gaps in our relationships, but it’s not always easy knowing how to bridge them. 6 Tips for Better Communication Here are six tips for better communication in relationships: Check in by asking questions When we have communication breakdowns, we begin to experience distance from our partner because we have stopped being intentional in connecting with them. Every relationship has a rhythm that incorporates work, family, friends, and pressures. These things have a habit of stealing our energy and focus. Before we realize it, we have been swept up in the rhythm of life like a current dragging us away from our significant other. It might seem odd to share personal space with someone each day and still have to ask a question like, “How are you doing?” but that is one effective way of reconnecting with your partner. It’s a case of putting off obligations, making time to be alone together, giving each other your full attention, and checking in. When we feel valued and safe, the conversation should flow effortlessly. Pay attention People communicate with more than words. There is as much meaning in the things we don’t say as in the things we do. A partner who is struggling with something and responds with a simple, “I’m fine” when asked, might be communicating that they are too overwhelmed to express themselves fully. That kind of guarded communication might come across as dismissive and it can be hurtful. We must ask ourselves what is behind their attitude, and pay attention to things like body language, mood, and eye contact. Accept differences The old saying that opposites attract is often accurate. On one hand, we [...]

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Understanding the Different Communication Styles

Understanding the Different Communication Styles

By McCartney Paul|2024-06-21T16:54:14+00:00June 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

Just like our personality or how we view the world, each of us has any one of a number of different communication styles. This is the way we try to convey our ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings and how those are received or perceived. How we communicate is as important as what it is we are trying to communicate. As we talk and interact in the world, we must ensure that our intentions are not misinterpreted and that we do not hurt others unintentionally. Some of the communication styles people adopt tend to have negative effects. This is why it is important to understand the different types to see if one needs to make changes in how they communicate with others or how to handle those people whose communication style is not like theirs. 5 different communication styles There are five different communication styles, namely aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive. We will discuss each one in this article. Passive communicators Passive communicators come off as easy-going, happy-go-lucky types of people. They prefer not to let their feelings or thoughts be known. It is difficult to know what their stance on important issues is as they can act indifferent to what is being discussed, take a more submissive role, and go with whatever they are told, even if they disagree vehemently. These types of people find it difficult to say no, especially if they find themselves in subordinate roles. They almost seem unsure of themselves, and they avoid conflict by conforming. In terms of body language, they are usually fidgety and avoid direct eye contact. They speak with a soft, almost inaudible voice as if they are not sure what they are about to say. How to work with a passive communicator One-on-one communication They usually feel more comfortable [...]

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Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

Will I Ever Get Married? Facts Vs. Myths About Marriage

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-05-21T18:25:52+00:00May 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

For many people, getting married is one of the central goals of their life. “Will I ever get married?” is a wistful question they often ask themselves when they see their friends married, getting married, or in serious relationships and they are not. They view their singleness as an insurmountable wall separating them from happiness and wonder if there is something wrong with them and if or when it will ever be their turn.Does this resonate with you? If so, this article may be a source of encouragement and hope.Answers to the question, “Will I ever get married?”One answer is that it depends on how much effort you are willing to put into dating and looking for a potential partner.Finding a mate is not a passive process. A romance that leads to a lasting marriage often takes purposeful effort. It means socializing and interacting with people rather than living an isolated life. One way is to pursue hobbies or activities where you are most likely to meet people who share similar values and interests as you do and that could potentially lead to a meaningful relationship.Another answer is that just because it has not happened yet does not mean that it never will. Being single and trying to find love can be difficult and frustrating, but it does not make you less of a person, nor is it a reflection of how undesirable you are.Decide what characteristics are most important to you in a marriage partner and look for someone who meets the criteria. Date with intentionality, and without compromising or being willing to settle on important issues. Being married to the right person is more important than just being married.The only way to guarantee you’ll never get married is to stop trying and do nothing about it.Myths versus facts [...]

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Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

Overcoming Trust Issues In A Relationship

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-04-01T11:35:15+00:00April 1st, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you’re not able to trust someone, there’s little foundation for a meaningful relationship with them. Trust, just like mutual respect, good communication, and love, are the key ingredients in a healthy relationship. When trust is lacking, the relationship is in a bit of a bind because it will likely lack depth and intimacy. That’s because you need to trust someone before you can be vulnerable with them. Trust issues interfere with this. What is trust? When you say you trust someone, you’re making a claim about their reliability. You can rely on their words, and you can rely on the fact that their actions have reasonable and good motivation behind them. Trust allows you to have a conversation with someone without wondering if they have a hidden agenda that will harm you. Trust is also what allows you to share yourself and be vulnerable with other people. Trust between two people develops in various ways. Often, when you spend time with someone, you get to observe them. They build a history of saying and doing things, and you can see for yourself if what they say and do match up or contradict one another. Over time, they show themselves to be dependable, and worthy of being taken at their word because they have demonstrated their character. You can be vulnerable with someone you trust, and that strengthens and deepens the relationship. In other situations, we trust people because someone we know and whose judgment we value trusts them. That’s one reason you go on a blind date with someone a trusted friend recommends. Sometimes, we trust people because they possess certain qualities that make them seem trustworthy. In other cases, we trust people because we have no choice but to take them at their word. That trust may [...]

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Preventing Codependency in Marriage

Preventing Codependency in Marriage

By Plano Christian Counseling|2023-11-17T15:24:07+00:00November 17th, 2023|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A healthy and balanced marriage relationship may be the goal, but it isn’t always easy. One way you can create and maintain a healthy relationship is by preventing codependency in marriage. By working with your spouse, you can develop a healthy love and care for one another while maintaining the unique characteristics God gave you. Avoiding codependency will help ensure that each person’s feelings are respected, and their needs are met. Healthy marriage tips to avoid codependency in marriage. As you strive for a healthy marriage, you can implement the strategies below. It will help you and your partner foster independence and maintain individual identities as you nurture your marriage. Communication is key. Strive to have open and honest communication with your partner. Prioritize discussing your feelings, needs, and concerns regularly. As you do this be sure that both partners feel heard and understood. Set and respect boundaries. Boundaries are part of healthy relationships. Seek to establish clear, loving boundaries in your relationship. As you recognize that each person has their own needs and feelings, you make each person feel respected and loved. When this happens, you can build a stronger relationship. Prioritize self-care. Self-care benefits both people in a marriage. Encourage one another to engage in self-care activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This helps both people function well, enabling them to love one another better. Maintain individual interests and friendships. Everyone has their own passions and interests. Make time and space for pursuing these. Even friendships and social connections outside of your marriage are good for you. Communicate well about it and avoid keeping secrets from one another to foster a healthy relationship as you do this. Try to seek balance. Create a comfortable balance between time spent together and time spent apart. This allows [...]

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Understanding Attachment Issues: 4 Attachment Styles

Understanding Attachment Issues: 4 Attachment Styles

By Plano Christian Counseling|2024-04-04T11:08:09+00:00November 15th, 2023|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The concept of “attachment issues” has become a bit of a buzzword, with a distinct lack of clarity around what it means and how it plays out in practice. The picture that comes to mind is of someone who has trouble maintaining healthy adult relationships, who is overly clingy, or behaves in a toxic way. Understanding Attachment Issues Understanding attachment issues requires getting to grips with attachment theory and attachment styles, which relate to how a person experienced attachment as a child. Four attachment styles. The attachment theory which was pioneered by John Bowlby in 1946 defined attachment as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings”. His work focused on babies who had either strong or weak emotional connections with their mothers. The four main types of attachment, which can apply in childhood through adulthood, include: 1. Secure attachment. If a baby trusted their primary caregiver and formed a close, healthy bond with them in their early years, this caregiver gave the infant a secure base from which to explore the world. This is the best possible situation because it hardwires the individual’s brain to feel valued and accepted by other people, and they in turn value and accept other people. In adulthood, people who experienced a secure attachment will likely function well in relationships, trusting people (who merit trust), and being able to regulate their emotions apart from others. 2. Anxious-preoccupied. If a mother or other primary caregiver was inconsistent or slow in responding to an infant’s needs or failed to meet them in some way, a child may demonstrate an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. This can lead to attachment issues in adulthood, with the person generally experiencing a negative view of themselves in relation to others. This means that in relationships, they crave intimacy and want to feel [...]

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Your Financial Future as a Couple

Your Financial Future as a Couple

By Plano Christian Counseling|2023-11-09T08:47:30+00:00November 2nd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Finances are a big part of life for everyone. In individuals, finances can be a complex issue. Add another person into the mix, and finances can get even more challenging. When you are part of a couple, talking about your financial future may feel uncomfortable. It is, however, an essential part of the health and future of your relationship. Honest, open communication is the key to a stronger relationship. Especially when it comes to finances. It may be difficult to talk about finances with your partner. This can be for a variety of reasons such as different ways of doing things, shame for past decisions, and unhealthy models for finances growing up. These things do not need to prevent you from having these important conversations. A counselor can guide you and your partner through conversations to help you communicate. As a neutral third party, the counselor can ask questions, lead conversations, help people see other perspectives, and offer strategies for better communication. This is incredibly helpful as two people try to build a firm financial future together. No matter what point you are at in your relationship, you can benefit from finding common ground with your partner regarding finances. Finances and new couples. Finances may not seem like a big deal at the beginning of a relationship. You do not need to discuss your financial information with someone you are getting to know. Early discussions about money may revolve around things like who pays for meals and going out or what kind of things work with your budget. Being honest about this early on is helpful as you get to know one another better and spend more time together. Finances and established couples. If you have been dating for a good amount of time and you both consider your [...]

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Resolving Conflict in the Workplace

Resolving Conflict in the Workplace

By Plano Christian Counseling|2023-10-28T09:59:25+00:00June 16th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

The workplace has become a major area of life in the past few decades. Because there is so much time spent at work there will inevitably be conflict in the workplace. Any type of conflict can reduce the workflow and decrease the positive atmosphere. Everyone must know how to resolve conflicts. This will create a healthy work atmosphere for everyone. A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1, NASB No matter how big or type of business there will be conflict because there are people present. These conflicts do not have to disrupt the workday. The ability to meet the conflict head-on with resolution will also keep the employees from facing burnout. The best way to resolve conflict is to have leadership that can recognize and address conflict. Three conflicts and resolutions Since many personalities are working together, the most common conflict in the workplace that occurs revolves around how people interact with people. Some conflicts occur that are more personal. No matter the cause there are ways to successfully resolve any type of conflict. Leadership conflict. This is one of the most common types of conflict. Every manager or leader has an idea about productively leading a team. This idea is not always the same for everyone. When there is a decision that causes conflict within the team, the leader must be able to identify and resolve the issue. Here are a few types of conflicts in this area: Decision-making: These conflicts occur when leaders of different areas disagree on a decision. Goals: A manager who has a goal that doesn’t align with the company may cause a conflict within the company and department. Roles: If a manager isn’t clear about their responsibilities it can lead to confusion within the [...]

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After the Affair: Can Trust Be Restored?

After the Affair: Can Trust Be Restored?

By Plano Christian Counseling|2023-10-28T10:01:29+00:00May 26th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity is not an easy thing to heal from. Finding out that that your spouse has cheated on you can be devastating. It’s like receiving a sucker punch to your gut that leaves you reeling in shock and disbelief. Overcoming a breach of trust is one of the most difficult issues for a relationship to survive, but God is a healer of broken hearts, and with His help, it is possible to rebuild trust even after the affair. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending. – Maria Robinson What not to do after the affair The initial shock of discovering that a partner has been unfaithful and the flooding emotions are normal. Reactions sparked by this may seem reasonable and justifiable at the moment but will hinder healing and likely lead to regrets later on. Avoid telling everyone about it. Before you impulsively tell everyone what your spouse has done, allow yourself and your partner time to discuss and determine how you want to proceed going forward, what you are going to share, and with whom. Avoid blasting your cheating spouse on social media. Once you put something out on social media it lives forever even if you later decide to delete it. Avoid making life-altering decisions. Acting impulsively while your thinking is clouded, such as filing for divorce or retaliating by having an affair of your own, can make any possibility of healing your relationship more difficult. Take time to think things through before doing anything rash. Avoid obsessing over the person your partner had an affair with. Hyper fixating on the other person, stalking him or her on social media, or allowing obsessive thoughts of him or her to consume your mind can only make [...]

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