Relationship Issues

How to Begin Dealing with Abandonment Wounds

, 2025-04-23T08:07:00+00:00April 22nd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Abandonment wounds are difficult to deal with because we often don’t realize we have them. We sustain these wounds from childhood, and they remain with us as adults. They affect many different parts of our lives and relationships, shaping the way we feel about ourselves and the things we believe about others. It is possible to identify where our abandonment wound is and how it’s affecting us. As we begin to confront our beliefs and behaviors connected to our wounds, we will find ways to overcome them and free ourselves from fear and mistrust. Where It All Begins Sometimes, it helps to relive our past and talk about our childhood experiences. Certain events that we go through as children leave us feeling unsafe and uncertain. Adults, and our parents especially, are supposed to make us feel seen, heard, understood, and safe, but sadly, not every parent manages to do this. There could be many ways that we felt neglected, abandoned, or even betrayed by our parents, whether they were aware of their behavior or not. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals process childhood wounds and move toward healing and restoration. The relationships we have with our parents in childhood affect the connections we make as adults. If we feel unsafe and uncertain as children, the chances are we are going to struggle with trusting others in our adult friendships and relationships. If we were left yearning for a stronger bond with our parents or wished they had been more constant in their care of us, we might be clingy and insecure in our adult connections. We might never have framed our parents’ actions as neglectful or damaging, but we still find ourselves triggered by certain things as adults. Sometimes, these triggers are small, like an [...]

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What is Codependency and How Do I Know if I Have It?

, 2025-04-23T08:26:49+00:00April 17th, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency can be influenced by various factors, including but not limited to low self-esteem, family dynamics, and insecure attachment styles. For example, survivors of traumas may internalize the belief that they are responsible for the happiness and well-being of others, leading to codependent tendencies. What is codependency? Codependency can be defined as an excessive reliance emotionally or psychologically on a person or thing that supports a belief in one’s identity. Part of being codependent is allowing your identity to rely on the validation of others. We all have a natural longing to belong or be accepted. No one wants to feel like they don’t belong or feel rejected. Codependency is often rooted in a childhood experience that has created an idea of who you are. For example, “I am worthy if I make this person smile or happy.” Then you develop ways that you have found work to make others happy or smile; for example, jokes, acting silly, getting good grades, not being late, working hard, and being the peacemaker. As we continue life using these ways to manage the uncomfortable feeling of rejection instead of understanding why we have this excessive need to please others, we can become overwhelmed and exhausted. It would seem to be a natural way to find a way to manage an uncomfortable feeling and make the encounter more comfortable. Perhaps you can think of a time when a parent, friend, or spouse became angry or sad and you sensed either their sadness or anger. Plano Christian Counseling can help you better understand emotional responses—your own and others’—and provide faith-based tools for healthy emotional regulation and relationship support. How does codependency work? Some may think they best manage the uncomfortable situation by avoiding the person. Or they may realize the situation becomes more manageable [...]

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How Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Affects Relationships

, 2025-04-23T09:27:47+00:00April 10th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you think about relationships, do those thoughts come with warm and welcoming feelings, or are you left feeling on edge? People don’t experience relationships the same way, and how you interact with others and form relationships is influenced by your earliest interactions with others. Depending on what those interactions were like then, you may have trouble forming healthy relationships with people now. How a person relates to others and forms connections is called an attachment style. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one type of attachment style, and it has a significant impact on relationships. Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style A person’s attachment style develops early in life, especially during childhood and early adolescence. Your attachment style can change later in life, but many of your main patterns of relating to others are set early on. Plano Christian Counseling provides faith-based guidance to help individuals understand their attachment styles and build healthier, more secure relationships. We form secure attachments when our parents or caregivers provide consistent and reliable care. A secure attachment means a child feels secure and knows their parents or caregivers will meet their needs. An anxious-avoidant attachment style is one of several insecure attachment styles. The anxious-avoidant style is a combination of an anxious and an avoidant attachment style. An anxious style is marked by fear of being abandoned. While desiring closeness, there’s a sensitivity toward rejection. An anxious style is often associated with low self-esteem and the fear of not being wanted around. On the other hand, an avoidant style will often involve being self-reliant and creating emotional distance from others. Being close to others may even feel uncomfortable for a person with an avoidant attachment style, and such individuals often don’t seek support from others. While having people around them, the person with an avoidant style [...]

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Fear of Abandonment: How It Develops and How It Can Affect You

, 2025-04-23T09:29:56+00:00April 8th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Have you ever had an experience so visceral that to this day it feels like that moment never quite left you? It could be the first time you saw the ocean, the time you fell from a tree, a time when you saw a project come together and felt alive, or perhaps when you experienced a tragic loss. Our bodies and our minds remember the things that happen to us; they leave a mark on us, even if it’s not visible. The experiences that you have will impact you in one way or the other. They may contribute to making you more fearful, adventurous, circumspect, or ambivalent. A fear of abandonment may result from certain life experiences, and it can have a profound impact on how you live your life and conduct your relationships. Fear of Abandonment Explained When a person is said to have a fear of abandonment, it means that they have an intense or deep-seated concern that they will experience desertion, rejection, or otherwise be left behind by someone that they care about a lot. This fear of abandonment can occur due to various factors such as trauma, past experiences of rejection or abandonment, or because of an insecure attachment style. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate, faith-based support to help individuals heal from past wounds and develop secure, healthy relationships. The complex emotional issue of fearing abandonment can result in several outcomes, including feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and distress. Instead of feeling like safe places, relationships can wind up feeling like a disaster waiting to happen, diminishing one’s enjoyment of it. There are several different forms and sources of this fear of abandonment. One of them is emotional abandonment, which is when a person feels they’re not being validated by others, or they feel unseen and [...]

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9 Different Ways People Feel Abandoned

, 2025-04-23T07:27:03+00:00April 3rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Abandonment looks different from person to person. People frequently second-guess themselves. They might question if their perception of events. Likewise, they may feel as if they are overly sensitive when others who experienced the same event were not affected in the same way. Sometimes it is the events that seem to be so ordinary and commonplace that cause people to feel the deepest stabs of abandonment. Everyday Abandonment People often imagine that violent or extreme events cause trauma. However, people frequently experience abandonment trauma from subtle things they experience in relationships. These things can seem so slight, or even hard to identify, that we often overlook them, or even make excuses for them. This leads to us feeling as though we shouldn’t feel a sense of abandonment, or that we are being overly sensitive. For example, you may have a friend who cancels plans at the last minute. They gain reputations for being unreliable, and other friends might joke about their inability to commit to anything. They might have a deep reason for being this way, and because their behavior is predictable and joked about, we might make excuses for them or dismiss our frustrations with them. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals and families explore underlying issues in relationships and foster healthier, more understanding connections through faith-based support. However, if we are honest with ourselves, we might find that we feel more than frustration with them. Their constant cancellation of plans makes us feel less important to them, and we feel like we can’t rely on them anymore. Sometimes it is the common, everyday behavior that friends, family, and loved ones do that makes us feel abandoned. These are difficult things to confront because we can feel self-conscious that we are overreacting to the situation. It is only [...]

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Ways to Help Anxiety in Aging Parents in Plano, Texas

2025-03-21T08:26:06+00:00March 20th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Anxiety can strike anyone and at any stage in life, but it is particularly prevalent in elderly people. Not only do physiological changes play a part in creating anxiety, but loss of social interaction, mobility, and independence can all contribute. As an adult child of aging parents in Plano, Texas, it can be particularly off-putting to see anxiety in aging parents, those once capable and stable caregivers. Plano Christian Counseling offers compassionate support and faith-based guidance to help families navigate these challenges. Ways to Support Aging Parents Dealing with Anxiety Here are a few strategies and tactics to try when your aging parents are dealing with anxiety in Plano, Texas: Talk with their doctor Anxiety in aging parents can be triggered by many factors so it’s important to rule out any medical reasons for the sudden change. It may even be a side-effect of a prescription drug. Be sure to mention the anxiety to their primary care physician and ask for any advice for their specific situation. Find a comfort item A comfort item is any tangible physical thing that brings them comfort. For some, it could be a soft or weighted blanket or stuffed animal. For others, it might be a photograph of a loved one. Experiment with different items that you think could bring them comfort and have an ample supply on hand. Keep their hands busy If your aged parent can use their hands, consider investing in a fidget toy or two. Fidget spinners, squishies, and other hand-held toys can help keep anxious hands busy and give their eyes and minds something to focus on other than what they are worried about. Hug Hugging can reduce blood pressure and bring a sense of peace to both parties. Be sure to gently and lovingly physically touch your [...]

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Emotional Neglect in Relationships: Why It Happens and How to Remedy It

, 2025-03-21T08:03:25+00:00March 14th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

The people you are close to play an important role in your life. One of the key predictors of well-being is whether we’re in healthy relationships with others, whether it’s with a spouse, friends, siblings, colleagues, or neighbors. Some relationships will have a deeper and more lasting impact compared to others, but the point is that as relational and social creatures, the health of our relationships is immensely important. If the health of our relationships matters for our well-being, it pays to know why those relationships can go wrong, and how to remedy it. One of the key areas where a relationship can be unhealthy is when emotional neglect is taking place. Emotional Neglect in Relationships Emotional neglect is an unfortunate reality in many relationships. Whether it’s between parents and their children, siblings, or in a romantic relationship, it’s possible for loved ones to experience emotional neglect. Emotional neglect can be understood as a type of abuse. When a person is neglected emotionally, their emotional needs are consistently ignored, dismissed, or disregarded. Plano Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance for individuals experiencing emotional neglect. What adds to the pain of emotional neglect is that the ones who are disregarding or dismissing another’s emotional needs are the same people who carry the responsibility to meet those needs. Partners, caregivers, or parents are responsible to others to meet their needs, and it’s part of what makes the relationship a healthy one. Emotional neglect can take various forms, including minimizing or trivializing the other person’s experiences; being unavailable and unresponsive when called upon; showing little to no interest in the others’ feelings, thoughts, or experiences; not providing reassurance or comfort; ignoring or dismissing the other’s emotions; withholding validation and support; and not acknowledging or apologizing for hurtful or harmful behavior. When [...]

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How to Navigate the Complex Waters of Divorce and Children

, 2025-03-21T08:19:38+00:00March 13th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Choosing to share the rest of your life with a person has a profound impact on the rest of your life. When a person gets married, they don’t know exactly what will come their way because life can be unpredictable. Ending a marriage is a big decision, and it can be one of the most painful decisions a person makes in their life. This pain is magnified when divorce and children mix. Dealing With Divorce as an Adult Getting divorced is complicated on several levels. This includes the social, legal, and moral dimensions and implications of the decision. When a person gets divorced, there is a lot they work through to get to that point, but beyond divorce lies other questions, feelings, and thoughts that need to be unpacked. Plano Christian Counseling can help individuals navigate these challenges with faith-based support and guidance. Dealing with a divorce in a healthy way requires several things. Take time to heal Marriage joins two people, two lives, together into one. When a man and woman are joined together in marriage, the two become “one flesh”, and they share life. (Genesis 2:24-25, Matthew 19: 4-6) God’s intention is for people to persist in this state of unity. If that unity is broken through a divorce, it is like tearing off a piece of yourself. Your marriage may have been a difficult one, and divorce opened up new vistas, but you should still take the time to heal. Getting a divorce brings an important part of your life to an end. With that is dealing with the absence and loss of a person to whom you had significant emotional and physical ties. Sometimes, what needs to be mourned is the loss of a dream and of the potential your relationship had. That includes the [...]

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5 Good Boundaries to Draw With People Who Have Caused Trauma

, 2025-03-21T09:20:10+00:00March 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

` One of the most critical aspects of our emotional freedom is to forgive those who have hurt us. This is especially true for people who have suffered trauma or abuse. A person with a traumatic past may need the help of forgiveness to move past it and thrive in their lives. However, just because a person has forgiven someone does not mean they need to give them access to their lives. Good Boundaries to Draw With Causers of Trauma Boundaries help people limit access to interaction with them and what they can know about them. A person who wants to protect themselves from suffering trauma again needs to draw proper boundaries with that person. Here are five good boundaries to draw with people who have caused trauma: Time Boundaries Limit the amount of time you spend with a person. If you see that person regularly, limiting the time you spend talking with that person is essential. A person who has subjected you to trauma and is not repentant may quickly come back to that topic and cause you pain and harm by denying the behavior even existed. This can re-trigger the pain you are trying to get past. Furthermore, a person who has subjected you to trauma wants to know more about you. By spending more time with you, they can learn more details about your life. Draw a reasonable time boundary and limit their time with you or your loved ones. Plano Christian Counseling can help you set healthy boundaries and find healing from past trauma. Space Boundaries Similarly, limit or restrict their ability to get close to you. A person who is close to you in proximity can try to hug you or, even worse, abuse you. To protect yourself, you need to draw a space [...]

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Premarital Questions to Ask for Engaged Couples in Plano, Texas

2025-03-22T06:23:27+00:00February 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting married in Plano, Texas? Here are some important premarital questions to consider before you tie the knot. Before you get married, you may assume you know what to expect from the marriage and your spouse. Unfortunately, life rarely works that way. A person’s upbringing, environmental factors, life experiences, and personality can all impact a marriage. You’ll want to be on the same page with your significant other, so it’s important to know what premarital counseling questions to ask. Plano Christian Counseling offers faith-based premarital counseling to help couples build a strong foundation for a lasting marriage. Premarital Counseling Questions to Ask When you share the same goals, dreams, and expectations with your partner, marriage feels like sharing life with your best friend. However, if you do not know how to overcome obstacles together and share emotions productively, you can end up sharing your home with a stranger. Premarital counseling is critical for opening the line of communication and discussing matters that may have never crossed your mind. These subjects may not be an issue at present, but your future self needs answers. Premarital counseling in Plano, Texas also teaches communication skills, conflict resolution, and how to keep the focus on you as a couple as you move through the different seasons of your lives. Below is a list of premarital counseling questions to get you started. Although you can share this list with your significant other and review the answers together, a counselor at Plano Christian Counseling in Texas can work as a mediator to help you find solutions and teach you skills that will serve you as a couple for years. Premarital counseling questions: Where do you see yourself in the future? Where do you want to live? Where do you want to work? Are you willing [...]

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