Relationship Issues Archives | Plano Christian Counseling

How to Make Friends If You Have Social Anxiety

How to Make Friends If You Have Social Anxiety

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-09-24T06:45:23+00:00September 24th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Most people crave friendships. Even the most introverted among us has a certain degree of God given desire for social connection. God made us social creatures for a reason. He created Eve when He recognized Adam’s social need. God brought us back into fellowship with Him when He saw the sin-induced divide. So, having people in your life is important and necessary for fellowship, mission work, and overall life satisfaction. If you’re craving relationships, there are a lot of ways to find those social connections, even if you’re socially awkward or suffer from social anxiety. Even if you have a shy personality or have been criticized publicly. Even if toxic friendships have made you afraid to trust others again. And even if you’re at a stage in your life where you are physically unable to socialize in the ways you always have. Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety Whatever the reason for your isolation, it can be difficult to reach out to others when your insides are a jumbled-up mess of nerves, doubt, fear, hurt, and self-doubt. But there is hope. You can overcome those obstacles that prevent authentic connections and live a whole, fulfilling social life. You can be a part of a dynamic duo or be a main character in a friend group. You can find people who will support you in your endeavors and cry with you in your defeats. But first, you might have to put in a little work to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of those authentic and meaningful connections. Get therapy Therapy can help you not only understand but also untangle the things that are standing in the way of quality relationships in your life. Sometimes what you need is someone trained to walk with you through the fear, trauma, and [...]

Comments Off

Raising Kids: Parenting Tips for When You Feel Overwhelmed

Raising Kids: Parenting Tips for When You Feel Overwhelmed

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-09-05T07:08:33+00:00September 5th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you encounter verses such as Psalm 127:3, you might feel a mixture of emotions. The verse reads, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3, NIV). One thing a parent might feel is a deep sense of responsibility for their children, perhaps accompanied by gratitude to the Lord for the gift of a child. These emotions can be empowering, but they can also make parents feel overwhelmed due to their gravity. If you take your parenting seriously and your faith and walk with the Lord seriously, it leads to the conclusion that one’s children are a gift over which to exercise wise stewardship. They belong to the Lord, and like all His gifts, we are to handle them carefully. Parenting in the 21st century can be a complex and overwhelming experience. We all need help with handling this vital role. Reasons Parents Feel Overwhelmed Raising a child is a task and responsibility that takes every ounce of energy, and it requires perseverance and ingenuity to accomplish. There are many reasons why a parent or caregiver might feel overwhelmed. Depending on the reason, there are different approaches to take to relieve the sense of pressure and to walk with a greater sense of freedom and joy in your parenting. You may feel overwhelmed because you have too much to do. Many parents can attest to this. Whether you’re a single parent, co-parenting, or in a relationship, you might be stretched thin because there’s just too much to do and you can’t get to it all. You have work, daily chores, school runs, you need to stay fit and socialize, and a thousand little fires that need putting out in a given day. A parent may feel overwhelmed because their child has needs that [...]

Comments Off

When ADHD Interferes With Your Relationships

When ADHD Interferes With Your Relationships

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-07-23T06:19:41+00:00July 23rd, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are important. They are part of God’s plan. He made us social creatures. In Genesis, we find that God didn’t want Adam to be alone, so He created Eve. The Bible is full of stories of how God has provided people to do his work and to love His followers. So, when you long for relationships, it’s not unusual – it’s part of God’s plan. But if you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as ADHD), you may be struggling in your relationships. It’s one thing to desire deep, meaningful, and mutually beneficial relationships, and it’s a whole other thing to make and preserve them. ADHD Relationship Obstacles If you have ADHD, you’re probably already familiar with some of the obstacles that this disorder presents when it comes to interpersonal relationships. You’re probably acutely aware of the fact that you interrupt people when they’re talking or that you have a hard time focusing on a conversation. You probably cringe when you think about the time that you were pacing the floor acting disinterested in a conversation. But your mind and your body often follow the directions of ADHD rather than social norms. A romantic relationship adds a whole other layer of confusion and misunderstanding. You might be in a fully committed, loving relationship, ready to make a life together, but if your partner doesn’t understand your ADHD, you might not be perceiving the relationship in the same way. When you forget something they just said or lose track of the task that you promised to handle, it can feel to them like you’re careless or indifferent or even worse, that you simply don’t prioritize them or their needs. If they don’t understand that your brain works just a little differently, they may interpret your actions as lazy, [...]

Comments Off

The Different Forms of Abandonment

The Different Forms of Abandonment

Wade Van Staden2025-06-27T06:20:35+00:00June 27th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Everyone experiences abandonment and rejection at some point in their life. Each time we are taken for granted, used, and treated as if we were meaningless, it is akin to abandonment. By this definition, there are many different forms of abandonment and different ways in which we experience it. Being able to identify bad treatment or toxic relationships is the first step in our beginning to heal from abandonment trauma. Forms of Abandonment Needs Not Being Met Every person at every stage of life has needs, and the deepest of these can only be met in the context of relationships. A newborn has obvious needs (to be fed, kept warm and dry, and have skin-to-skin contact), but as she develops, her needs become more complex. We are indeed most vulnerable to abandonment trauma in our developmental years, but we might experience abandonment in relationships where our needs are not met. Sometimes we can be made to feel invisible and inconsequential in a relationship, to the point that we ignore our own needs. When this happens, we have been abandoned by our loved ones and by ourselves. Boundaries Not Being Respected It can be hard for some people to know or uphold their boundaries, but even they will feel disrespected and ultimately abandoned when their boundaries are constantly disrespected. When someone fails to respect our boundaries, they are communicating that we matter less than they do. The things that we try to protect, like our time, our peace, our personal space, or our routines, become resources for someone else to use and abuse. This is a form of abandonment because once again, we are made to feel worthless. Being Lied To Or Feeling Betrayed There is a special kind of hurt that comes from being lied to. Whether it’s an [...]

Comments Off

Getting Over a Breakup: Taking Time for Yourself

Getting Over a Breakup: Taking Time for Yourself

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2025-06-25T05:38:05+00:00June 25th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting over a breakup is challenging and often emotionally draining. The length of the relationship and the reasons for the breakup impact the time the healing process may take. However, there is a reframing that might help in this difficult moment of healing. You can look at this time as an opportunity to learn, grow, and start fresh. You can heal while tackling your physical and mental health. Now is the time to prioritize yourself while getting over a breakup. Tips for Getting Over a Breakup Getting over a breakup can be long and grievous, whether in a relationship for a few months or several decades. You were emotionally invested in another person and created dreams for the future. The reasons for the breakup can vary from mutual decision to infidelity, abuse, or sudden absence. After a breakup, you may struggle with feelings of loss, failure, shame, guilt, and uncertainty. This emotional roller coaster is temporary as you heal. However, there are several strategies you can use to help heal after a breakup. It’s okay to grieve If you have been advised by well-meaning friends and family to “just get over it,” you know how frustrating this can be. A breakup is a loss; it is the death of a relationship and a dream for the future. It is okay to take time to grieve. Processing your emotions is critical for your emotional and mental well-being. You were emotionally invested and loved this person. Whether you initiated the breakup or not, the loss is just as profound. Take the time to learn about the grieving process and allow yourself time to heal. Stop all contact Unless you share children with your ex, stop all contact. You can delay healing if you constantly converse or see your ex. If your [...]

Comments Off

Christian Couples Counseling to Help You Nurture a Healthy Relationship

Christian Couples Counseling to Help You Nurture a Healthy Relationship

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-06-06T07:09:03+00:00June 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Your relationships form one of the most important aspects of your life. The people in your life who matter most are usually the ones who are with you through the various seasons and experiences that have shaped who you are. Sharing life with others helps you to build bonds that enrich your life, and provides emotional support in times of need. These relationships are the stuff of life, and they are vital for your well-being. Healthy relationships will often have the largest impact on your flourishing. Relationships that are nurturing, open, committed, respectful, filled with compassion and kindness, are healthy and stimulate your well-being. However, relationships that are mired in conflict, are unreliable, uncomfortable, or have poor communication, can damage your well-being. All of this is even more true in a romantic relationship. The intimacy and weight that romantic relationships carry mean that when things go wrong, it is often more impactful than in other relationships. There’s a difference, however subtle, between a close friend hurting you, and your spouse hurting you. The closer the relationship, the deeper the hurt that can be inflicted. Couples can learn how to nurture their relationship through couples counseling. Challenges that Couples Face Even the happiest and most well-adjusted couples face challenges of all kinds. Some issues that a couple faces come from outside the relationship, but other issues are the result of the couple’s limitations and unhelpful patterns of behavior and thought. A given couple can face challenges relating to various aspects such as their life stage, issues with communication, or external pressures like financial problems. It may be helpful to detail some of the common issues that couples face. Recognizing that other couples have struggles similar to your own can help remove the sense of isolation and possibly stigma that you [...]

Comments Off

Ways to Deal with Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

Ways to Deal with Emotional Abuse in a Relationship

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-06-03T06:38:24+00:00June 3rd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

If you take a walk in a park, soak in your surroundings in a coffee shop, or look around you as you sit in the vibrant heart of your city, you may have the privilege of witnessing the magic of great relationships. It’s amazing when you see two people whose eyes are alive with joy in each other, oozing genuine affection for each other as they share stories or sit in an easy silence with each other. When a relationship is thriving, it can lift you to amazing heights, helping you to flourish. On the other hand, an unhealthy relationship can cast a pall over a person’s life. You can see a radiant person slowly begin to dull because of a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship can be a great joy, but an unhealthy one can make it feel as though the world itself is crumbling beneath your feet. One way for a relationship to be unhealthy is when it is emotionally abusive. What makes a relationship emotionally abusive? There are different ways to hurt a person. People are creatures made in the image of the eternal and majestic God, and He loves them deeply (Genesis 1:26-28; John 3:16). For many reasons, people deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and compassion. When they are treated in ways that cause them harm and detract from the fullness and flourishing God intends for His creation, that treatment is abusive. In a relationship, emotional abuse consists of a pattern of behavior where one partner relates to the other in ways that diminish their well-being and sense of self. This often occurs through attempts to diminish, control, manipulate, and dominate the other, often through non-physical means. Emotional abuse leverages words, attitudes, and tone to damage another person. Ultimately, what makes a relationship [...]

Comments Off

5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

5 Relationship Types and How to Strengthen Your Bonds

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-09-29T12:57:41+00:00May 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships are a part of life, but why? If we have learned anything during the pandemic, it has been that although isolation is necessary for particular seasons of our lives, we thrive when we are part of a social circle. This circle can include your spouse, children, parents, siblings, coworkers, or the friendly mail delivery carrier. You choose the people and how much access they have to your life. Knowing the five relationship types and how you can strengthen those bonds can serve you well in every area of life. Why Relationships are Necessary Positive relationships are necessary for the formation of social skills and happiness. Different types of relationships fulfill various needs throughout life and can result in better emotional and mental health. Not feeling alone, even when you are struggling, is crucial to avoiding specific mental condition symptoms such as depression. Relationships, even the hard and toxic ones, help build emotional resilience. Resiliency will help you overcome challenges throughout life and move forward instead of staying “stuck,” reliving hurt, disappointment, or trauma. Relationships provide a support system and other people to share your burdens. When going through something challenging, you want people who love and care about you to help stand in the gap. Relationships allow you to support others and be a blessing when they need it. As relationships form early, those bonds may shape the person you become. But remember, even if your relationships throughout childhood were tumultuous, you have the resources to lead a different life. You can choose to surround yourself with people who can push you to learn more, think differently, and act appropriately. The relationships you choose later in life can either bless you or harm you. Not every relationship needs to be a close, intimate one to benefit you. Building [...]

Comments Off

Gaslighting in Relationships: Effective Ways to Respond

Gaslighting in Relationships: Effective Ways to Respond

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-09-29T13:02:46+00:00May 21st, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Imagine waking up to a world where your reality feels like a mirage, where the truth is foggy and distorted by someone else’s perceptions. This is the haunting reality of gaslighting. Gaslighting in relationships can leave you feeling disoriented, questioning even your reality, and undermining your self-worth. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person tries to make another person doubt their perception of reality, memories, or feelings. The term originates from the play, “Gas Light,” where the husband manipulates his wife into thinking she is losing her sanity by dimming the gas lights and denying it. Gaslighting in relationships often involves tactics such as denying facts, twisting the truth, blaming the victim, and using emotional manipulation. The goal is to gain control over the victim, leading them to feel confused, anxious, and insecure about their own judgment and perceptions. Powerful Strategies to Combat Gaslighting in Relationships During this emotional turmoil, it’s important to respond in ways that are effective. Here are some powerful strategies to combat gaslighting in relationships. Trust your gut Listen to your gut feelings. If something feels off in your relationship, don’t dismiss those feelings. While the world might tell you that you should trust your instincts, as Christians, we know that at times, that still small voice warning you of potential danger may be the Holy Spirit. Journal your truth Start a personal journal dedicated to your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Document specific incidents where you felt gaslighted, including quotes from the abuser and your reactions. This practice can serve as a concrete reminder of your reality and help you reclaim your narrative. Be sure to store your journal in a secure place, out of the hands of your abuser. Keep evidence If you feel comfortable doing so, gather evidence of [...]

Comments Off

The Link Between Abandonment Trauma and Vulnerability

The Link Between Abandonment Trauma and Vulnerability

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-05-20T09:35:44+00:00May 20th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

Most of us have one or two close friends to whom we can open up, even though we might default to bottling things up and dealing with struggles alone. Vulnerability is a risk that requires us to trust someone else with personal information, not unlike an animal exposing its belly to potential predators. We might not have realized it, but there is often a link between our struggles with letting our guard down and abandonment trauma. As tricky as vulnerability can be, it is a skill that we can learn and practice. However, we might have to confront the abandonment trauma we have experienced before we can learn to trust others. The Lonely Child The first person we learn to trust in life is the parent we are closest to. We tell them about our day at school and the things we learned, and we ask them questions about the world around us. Their openness and availability provide a safe place in which we can learn, grow, and feel valued. However, not every child has this kind of bond with an adult. Others experience moments of closeness and intimacy with their parents, followed by times when they are distant and closed off. Some children learn to be self-reliant at a young age. This is a survival tactic; they are learning to cope with the trauma that comes from neglect or abandonment. A parent might be physically present in their child’s life, performing all the tasks that a parent should, but emotionally distant from them. When a parent fails to show concern and interest in their children’s lives, their kids will learn that their experiences, fears, preferences, and accomplishments are meaningless. Some children appear to be resilient on the outside, while on the inside, they are lonely and scared, always [...]

Comments Off

Relationship Issues

CONTACT INFO

Plano Christian Counseling

ABOUT US