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7 Ideas for Building Self-Esteem

7 Ideas for Building Self-Esteem

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-07-05T05:42:53+00:00July 7th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

If you have felt out of sorts lately, it may have to do with your self-esteem. Factors such as bullying, abuse, trauma, negative self-talk, neglect, or prejudice can contribute to low self-esteem. Building self-esteem is critical for your emotional and mental well-being. Why Building Self-Esteem is Critical Although several factors can lead to low self-esteem, knowing who you are and how valuable you are to yourself, your loved ones, your community, and God is the basis of a healthy mental state. When you value yourself and perceive your worth, you build emotional resilience and do not feel as pressured by societal ideals. If your self-esteem is low, then you might: Compromise on your values. Stay in a toxic relationship. Compare yourself to others. Make rash decisions or struggle to make commitments. Never take risks. Struggle with body image, depression, and anxiety. Struggle to achieve goals. Let yourself go, including personal hygiene and health. Building self-esteem will positively affect your physical, emotional, and mental health. As you realize that you were made in the image and likeness of God, the belief that you are a co-heir to Christ’s kingdom and a son or daughter of the King, your confidence will soar. What if low self-esteem were no longer a barrier, and you knew in your heart that opportunities were available to you and doors were open that no man could shut if it were God’s will? Start by building self-esteem and shifting your mindset and beliefs. Ideas for Building Self-Esteem Building self-esteem takes practice. You may need to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations, mantras, and beliefs. You will need to challenge your own thoughts and limiting beliefs. Your behavior will need to change to reflect confidence by adopting new actions. Although not mentioned in the list below, reading and [...]

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The Different Forms of Abandonment

The Different Forms of Abandonment

Wade Van Staden2025-06-27T06:20:35+00:00June 27th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Everyone experiences abandonment and rejection at some point in their life. Each time we are taken for granted, used, and treated as if we were meaningless, it is akin to abandonment. By this definition, there are many different forms of abandonment and different ways in which we experience it. Being able to identify bad treatment or toxic relationships is the first step in our beginning to heal from abandonment trauma. Forms of Abandonment Needs Not Being Met Every person at every stage of life has needs, and the deepest of these can only be met in the context of relationships. A newborn has obvious needs (to be fed, kept warm and dry, and have skin-to-skin contact), but as she develops, her needs become more complex. We are indeed most vulnerable to abandonment trauma in our developmental years, but we might experience abandonment in relationships where our needs are not met. Sometimes we can be made to feel invisible and inconsequential in a relationship, to the point that we ignore our own needs. When this happens, we have been abandoned by our loved ones and by ourselves. Boundaries Not Being Respected It can be hard for some people to know or uphold their boundaries, but even they will feel disrespected and ultimately abandoned when their boundaries are constantly disrespected. When someone fails to respect our boundaries, they are communicating that we matter less than they do. The things that we try to protect, like our time, our peace, our personal space, or our routines, become resources for someone else to use and abuse. This is a form of abandonment because once again, we are made to feel worthless. Being Lied To Or Feeling Betrayed There is a special kind of hurt that comes from being lied to. Whether it’s an [...]

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How Self-Compassion Can Help With Depression

How Self-Compassion Can Help With Depression

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2025-06-26T08:40:31+00:00June 26th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Self-compassion means having a positive attitude toward yourself that enables you to get through difficult times in life. Along with this attitude comes the ability to treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Self-compassion includes self-talk and self-care activities, which will be discussed in more detail. When you find yourself feeling more down than usual or even struggling with clinical depression (depressed mood that lasts longer than two weeks and includes other symptoms), what is your internal dialogue? Are you kind and compassionate or critical and neglectful of yourself? Self-talk or internal dialogue is often self-critical, negative, and hurtful. Your internal dialogue likely includes things that you would never say to a friend, especially one who is facing a difficult time or feeling depressed. Do you criticize yourself for being lazy, ungrateful, angry, or irritable? Or is your inner dialogue kind, compassionate, and encouraging to yourself? Even if you tend to be critical and negative, you can choose and intentionally change this narrative, which can help with depression. Please note that self-compassion is not self-pity, as it involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Self-compassion is acknowledging your imperfections as a human and recognizing that suffering is a part of the human experience, and having the self-awareness to know that there are things you can do that will help. Self-pity involves indulgence and feeling sorry for yourself without the desire to feel better. It is important to care for yourself during a difficult time with the confidence that you will feel better. It is also believing and trusting that God is with you and will help you. Romans 12:2 says, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” It can be difficult to have positive thoughts when feeling depressed. Perhaps you are [...]

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Getting Over a Breakup: Taking Time for Yourself

Getting Over a Breakup: Taking Time for Yourself

Rhonda Gist, Kate Motaung2025-06-25T05:38:05+00:00June 25th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting over a breakup is challenging and often emotionally draining. The length of the relationship and the reasons for the breakup impact the time the healing process may take. However, there is a reframing that might help in this difficult moment of healing. You can look at this time as an opportunity to learn, grow, and start fresh. You can heal while tackling your physical and mental health. Now is the time to prioritize yourself while getting over a breakup. Tips for Getting Over a Breakup Getting over a breakup can be long and grievous, whether in a relationship for a few months or several decades. You were emotionally invested in another person and created dreams for the future. The reasons for the breakup can vary from mutual decision to infidelity, abuse, or sudden absence. After a breakup, you may struggle with feelings of loss, failure, shame, guilt, and uncertainty. This emotional roller coaster is temporary as you heal. However, there are several strategies you can use to help heal after a breakup. It’s okay to grieve If you have been advised by well-meaning friends and family to “just get over it,” you know how frustrating this can be. A breakup is a loss; it is the death of a relationship and a dream for the future. It is okay to take time to grieve. Processing your emotions is critical for your emotional and mental well-being. You were emotionally invested and loved this person. Whether you initiated the breakup or not, the loss is just as profound. Take the time to learn about the grieving process and allow yourself time to heal. Stop all contact Unless you share children with your ex, stop all contact. You can delay healing if you constantly converse or see your ex. If your [...]

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Signs That You Need Help for Alcohol Dependence

Signs That You Need Help for Alcohol Dependence

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-06-20T06:55:04+00:00June 20th, 2025|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. In one person’s experience, it may be related to happy and enjoyable memories, while for another, it’s associated with dark and painful ones. Each person must navigate how they will deal with alcohol, and it helps to be informed about some of the ways it can negatively affect someone. Various substances, such as prescription and recreational drugs, affect the brain. Likewise, alcohol can produce pleasurable feelings and also blunt negative ones. It has a powerful effect on the brain, which can make it appealing. This temporary relief can motivate someone to turn to alcohol again and again, even when it poses possible significant risks to their health and overall well-being. You can become dependent on alcohol even without recognizing it. What is alcohol dependence? When you depend on something, it means that it plays a significant role in your life. When a person is dependent on alcohol, they may feel as though they cannot function without consuming alcohol. Alcohol assumes an important role in their life, and often, they have to drink more and more of it in order to obtain the same effect as before. Alcohol becomes a priority, superseding other activities or obligations. When a person is dependent on alcohol, they may not only prioritize alcohol over other things like family or work, but they may continue to consume alcohol even when it becomes destructive. Even if they’ve begun experiencing the harmful consequences of drinking, such as getting a DUI, losing their job, being diagnosed with liver disease, or other mental health challenges, they will continue to drink. Alcohol dependence is marked by the impaired ability to stop or control one’s intake and use of alcohol. Alcohol dependence is one of a cluster of terms that are often used [...]

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Creating a High-Functioning Depression Resource Guide for Your Team

Creating a High-Functioning Depression Resource Guide for Your Team

Tammy Varghese, Kate Motaung2025-06-20T06:17:05+00:00June 20th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

High-functioning depression is something many employees silently struggle with at work every day. Even though they seem to perform well, they are fighting perpetual sadness, tiredness, and a lack of self-worth. As a thoughtful workmate or team leader, it’s good for you to notice the signs of this relatively unknown condition and help someone find the right support. One of the best ways to support your team is by developing a Resource Guide for staff members with depression. This guide can help your team understand the condition better and provide practical ways to offer help. When your team has the right knowledge and resources, you create an environment where everyone feels comfortable asking for support when needed. In this article, we’ll share simple, practical steps to help create a workplace that values mental health, starting with mindfulness practices and offering flexible work options. These small changes can make a big difference for your team. What High-Functioning Depression Looks Like To understand high-functioning depression, it’s helpful to first know how it’s different from other types of depression. Major depression is more severe and can stop someone from doing daily tasks. People with major depression may struggle to get out of bed or even take care of themselves. Functioning depression, also called dysthymia, is a form of depression where someone feels sad for an extended time, usually over two years. People with functioning depression can still manage daily tasks, but it wears on them, and they feel down, tired, and lacking in energy. High-functioning depression is a type of functioning depression where a person mostly seems like they’re doing fine. They go to work, meet deadlines, and keep up with their responsibilities. But underneath it all, they still feel the same sadness, low energy, and lack of motivation. They are just [...]

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Bipolar in Teens: How to Know The Signs

Bipolar in Teens: How to Know The Signs

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2025-06-13T06:53:02+00:00June 13th, 2025|Bipolar Disorder, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Does your teen have dramatic mood swings that cycle between periods of extreme highs and periods of extreme lows? Are they causing noticeable changes in the way they normally think or act? It could be a sign of bipolar disorder. Bipolar in Teens Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic depression, is a mental illness that causes extreme shifts in mood, energy level, and behavior. It is characterized by manic episodes during which your teen seems happier than usual, is extremely energetic, and needs little sleep. Those contrast with episodes of depression in which your teen feels sad, apathetic, and fatigued. These episodes may last for one to two weeks or longer, interfere with your teen’s ability to perform daily tasks and disrupt his or her quality of life. Bipolar disorder can appear at any age, but most commonly develops during adolescence. Often it remains undiagnosed because the fluctuating moods are attributed to the normal ups and downs associated with teenage hormones. Early Warning Signs of Bipolar Disorder in Teens Following are some red flags that should not be ignored. If you recognize several of these changes in your teen’s usual mood and behavior, it is important to follow up with a licensed mental health professional experienced in treating bipolar in teens. Bipolar in teens is highly treatable and manageable. The earlier the intervention starts, the better the outcome will be. Common signs of a manic episode. During a manic episode, your teen may feel wired and euphoric and have an inflated sense of self-esteem, grandiosity, and power. Feeling invincible, your teen might exhibit poor judgment, act impulsively, and engage in risky behaviors. Likewise, they may experience racing thoughts and trouble concentrating, talk fast, or jump from topic to unrelated topic. You may notice that your child is more irritable than [...]

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The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

The Many Ways Distorted Thinking Affects Your Life Every Day

Ashlynn Barnette, Kate Motaung2025-06-12T10:05:21+00:00June 12th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Emotions are a big part of how you experience your life. They shape the way you see the world, make decisions, and react to the ups and downs of life. But what can happen is that emotions take charge and trick you into thinking things that aren’t true. If you let them, they can twist your thoughts, making situations seem worse than they are. This is called distorted thinking, and it probably happens to you more than you’d think. Distorted emotions are like a filter, and through it, everything seems darker and more difficult than it really is. You can have a small argument with a friend, and then an emotional response will make you think, “They don’t care about me,” even when there’s no proof. These kinds of thoughts feel real at the moment, but they’re not the truth; they’re just emotions blurring reality. With some awareness of how your brain may conjure up this wrong way of thinking, it’s possible to spot these patterns, and then you can change them. Why do you have emotions? Emotions come from a part of your brain called the amygdala. It’s the one that helps you respond to things around you. These emotional responses are part of what keeps you safe and balanced. The amygdala normally processes feelings like fear and anger, where chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin create sensations of either happiness or sadness. These emotions are the brain’s way of helping us respond quickly to the world around us. This is the way your brain knows, for example, that fear signals danger, and joy means something good is around. Through it all, the brain is supposed to remain in charge of your thoughts by rationalizing and balancing your reactions with what is real. Everyone experiences emotional highs and [...]

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Christian Couples Counseling to Help You Nurture a Healthy Relationship

Christian Couples Counseling to Help You Nurture a Healthy Relationship

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2025-06-06T07:09:03+00:00June 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Your relationships form one of the most important aspects of your life. The people in your life who matter most are usually the ones who are with you through the various seasons and experiences that have shaped who you are. Sharing life with others helps you to build bonds that enrich your life, and provides emotional support in times of need. These relationships are the stuff of life, and they are vital for your well-being. Healthy relationships will often have the largest impact on your flourishing. Relationships that are nurturing, open, committed, respectful, filled with compassion and kindness, are healthy and stimulate your well-being. However, relationships that are mired in conflict, are unreliable, uncomfortable, or have poor communication, can damage your well-being. All of this is even more true in a romantic relationship. The intimacy and weight that romantic relationships carry mean that when things go wrong, it is often more impactful than in other relationships. There’s a difference, however subtle, between a close friend hurting you, and your spouse hurting you. The closer the relationship, the deeper the hurt that can be inflicted. Couples can learn how to nurture their relationship through couples counseling. Challenges that Couples Face Even the happiest and most well-adjusted couples face challenges of all kinds. Some issues that a couple faces come from outside the relationship, but other issues are the result of the couple’s limitations and unhelpful patterns of behavior and thought. A given couple can face challenges relating to various aspects such as their life stage, issues with communication, or external pressures like financial problems. It may be helpful to detail some of the common issues that couples face. Recognizing that other couples have struggles similar to your own can help remove the sense of isolation and possibly stigma that you [...]

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Common ADHD Quirks and How to Manage Them

Common ADHD Quirks and How to Manage Them

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2025-06-05T07:08:08+00:00June 5th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Having ADHD is a mixed bag of fun and frustration. so many things are just different about us compared to neurotypical folks, that it’s sometimes hard to keep track of. It is important for us to feel seen and understood because, although we might be different, there is nothing inherently wrong with us. As with everyone, regardless of their neurotype, sometimes we need to understand why we are doing certain things so that we can better adapt or tweak our actions, for the good of everyone. Let’s explore some of the most common ADHD quirks and consider how to manage them. Common ADHD Quirks and How to Manage Them Most of us have poor bladder control When we get locked into a hyperfocus mode, there is little that can stop us or distract us, even a full bladder. Unfortunately, holding urine does not strengthen the bladder but weakens it over time. It might take a lot of practice, but we simply need to lean into our natural affinity for multitasking and go to the bathroom while we are doing whatever fun task we are absorbed in. We tend to adopt accents Those with ADHD often become fascinated by ordinary things, and a foreign accent can be captivating. We tend to imitate accents without even realizing it, and sometimes this comes across as rude or fake, although for us it is harmless and unintentional. If we find ourselves in a conversation with someone who has an interesting accent, it might be helpful to warn them that we tend to mimic accents. It may not be a big deal, but it also might be best to warn others before it slips out. Alternatively, we can be self-aware and try to intentionally stop ourselves from mimicking. We suffer from FOMO There is [...]

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