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How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

How to Build Intimacy When You Have Trust Issues in a Relationship

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2024-12-20T05:37:08+00:00December 20th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When two people are in a relationship with each other, they have the opportunity to open themselves up to each other and build up a history of fruitful and positive interactions. If you accumulate enough of these positive and fruitful interactions with a person, that usually allows you to continue being open to them, and avoid trust issues. Trusting other people with pieces of ourselves isn’t an easy thing. For one thing, not everyone is trustworthy, and it isn’t always easy to let other people into our inner world. If there are trust issues in a relationship, such as in a marriage, between friends, colleagues, or family members, it makes that situation difficult to navigate. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 What causes trust issues in a relationship? But what lies at the root of trust issues in a relationship? Many possible causes can account for why trust never blossomed in a relationship, or why the trust that existed in a relationship has faltered or been lost and is now hard to recover. Emotional vulnerability with another person is a fragile thing, and so it can be both hard to form a bond of trust, and [...]

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A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

A Life Lived Online: Adolescents and Social Media

Sarah Harris, Kate Motaung2024-12-09T11:07:37+00:00December 6th, 2024|Christian Counseling For Teens, Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured|

When we’re feeling nostalgic, it’s tempting to say that things were simpler, better, or easier in the past. Often, parents of adolescents find themselves saying this as they consider the brave new world their children are navigating and trying to make sense of. It can be scary, and nostalgia can be a form of retreat. There’s nothing wrong with nostalgia; however, it can paralyze you in the present or blind you from seeing the beauty and opportunities that exist in the present. When it comes to social media, many folks would rather things were simpler for their own sake or for the sake of their kids. There are some good reasons for this, but a more productive approach is to gain a better understanding of how to make the best use of these tools. The Various Uses of Social Media Social media is a relatively young invention. Throughout the last few decades, there have been different iterations of the same idea of connecting human beings to each other and giving them a platform to share themselves and what they care about. We are deeply social creatures, which was by God’s design. As the internet has created a space to share ideas across the globe, social media has grown apace to meet that need. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2 Depending on the platform, the intention behind many social media applications is for individuals to be able to share whatever they find interesting, and for other people to interact with what’s been shared. It’s taking what we do in our everyday in-person interactions, and then scaling that up so that we’re communicating with a global audience. Instead of telling the person you’re with how much you’re enjoying your vacation, [...]

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Causes and Signs of a Strained Relationship

Causes and Signs of a Strained Relationship

Jennifer Kooshian2024-11-29T06:30:34+00:00November 28th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Relationship Issues|

When people get along swimmingly, they enjoy spending time with each other, and they expend effort to create opportunities to have more shared experiences. This is how trust is built over time, and that is how long-lasting bonds are formed. However, even the healthiest relationship can find itself under pressure, and the people in the relationship on less than friendly terms. When a relationship is strained, it can affect how the relationship functions and how the people in it feel about each other. Relationship strain happens, but it’s possible to resolve the tensions in the relationship to restore it stronger than ever before. What Strains Relationships? What does it mean to say that a relationship is strained? When a relationship is described as “strained” it means that it’s a relationship in which relations aren’t normal, and that is plagued by one or more problems that have the result of denying the people in the relationship their needs. A strained relationship goes beyond the rough patches or difficult seasons that even the most healthy and loving partnerships experience every so often. In a healthy relationship, conflict is resolved through clear communication that helps the relationship remain stable even as issues are dealt with. In strained relationships, by contrast, issues aren’t resolved well, and this leads to escalating conflict and increasing anger and isolation in the relationship. Whatever the issues are, whether it’s about money, sex, parenting, or goals, the relationship takes on strain when it begins to break down the bonds between the people in the relationship. When a relationship is strained, the differences that exist between people become a wedge that separates them. Under normal circumstances, those differences would be appreciated and dealt with in ways that promote the health of the relationship and one another. Some of [...]

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Do You Have the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

Do You Have the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

Bryan Ferguson, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:01+00:00November 8th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

You may have heard about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in the past regarding children, but were you aware that adults can also live with this mental condition? Many children with ADHD eventually outgrow it, but about 60% of individuals still have adult ADHD. Symptoms of adult ADHD Do you often question why you struggle with a short attention span, listening to others, or impatience? These are some common symptoms of adult ADHD: Fidgeting and an inability to sit still Hyperactivity is a core component of ADHD, although someone can have the condition without restlessness. As a child, your teachers may have told your parents that you were always on the move or could not sit still. Impulsiveness Impulsiveness and risky behaviors, such as driving recklessly, speeding, and having one-night stands, are symptoms that can lead to broken relationships and trouble with the law. Interrupting others Interrupting others and being unable to wait your turn are hallmarks of ADHD in adults. For example, you may have trouble waiting patiently in line at the grocery store or doctor’s office. In addition, you may become belligerent if you feel that others are being seen first. Racing thoughts Your thoughts may jump from one subject to the next rapidly, and people might complain that you talk too fast. This is one of the reasons you interrupt others; you want to voice your thoughts before you lose them to another topic. Starting projects and not completing them Your parents, spouse, or boss might complain about you starting projects only to abandon them at the halfway point. You may lose interest or become distracted by a new project. Inability to focus and concentrate As your mind skips around from topic to topic, you will find it is harder to focus on tasks. Multitasking is [...]

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Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

Connecting Well with Others: Relationship Advice for Women

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:40+00:00November 6th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

The greatest treasure in our lives is not all the stuff we have, including our homes, jobs, wealth, or looks. To be sure, those things all have their place in our lives, but the value they possess is limited. Rather, what is of greatest value is our relationships. these relationships can be with our friends, neighbors, siblings, and other family members, or our romantic partners. When these relationships are of a good quality, that impacts your overall well-being in a way little else can. “Stuff” is best enjoyed when it’s shared with your loved ones. It should come as no surprise that your relationships are of such importance. For one thing, people are deeply social and relational beings, something we get from our Heavenly Father. In the beginning, God created human beings in His image and likeness. That can mean many different things, including taking care of our world, but it also means there’s something about us that images God. God is love (1 John 4:16), and love is all about rich, deep, truthful, and healthy relationships with others. If the God we reflect is eternally Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then it makes all the sense in the world that we are relational creatures too. Our overall well-being is intimately tied to our relationships. A person who has healthy, positive, and supportive relationships has a greater likelihood of being happier and healthier. Life isn’t always sunny, and we often encounter hardships such as death, losing a job, or struggles with our health. That’s why developing and maintaining good connections with other people matters. When we are going through hard times, those relationships can also help us to combat loneliness and improve mental health issues such as stress and anxiety. Some relationship advice for women Your relationships matter, and you [...]

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PTSD Help: Causes and Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

PTSD Help: Causes and Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T10:45:47+00:00October 26th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Daily, there are shocking occurrences happening all around us. We read about them on the news, or as stories that friends, neighbors, or other loved ones share in person or on social media. At times, we ourselves might be witnesses of such events. If these events are frightening, or if there is a real threat of harm involved in them, they could result in trauma leading to PTSD, at which point PTSD help would be in order. Trauma is a person’s emotional response to shocking or frightening events. That response might initially be numbness or a sense of being overwhelmed. Over time, a person can work through the emotions and thoughts associated with the event, finding healing and a sense of peace. However, if the symptoms of trauma linger and perhaps intensify over time, it may be post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Causes of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD is the mental health condition that results when a person sees, experiences, or hears about a traumatic event. A traumatic event can be anything from going through a serious and life-threatening illness, a difficult childbirth experience, being threatened with a weapon, a car accident, or the death of a loved one. Likewise, it can include a natural disaster, kidnapping, sexual assault, being in a combat zone, or being a victim of terrorist activity. It is not known for certain what causes PTSD, because two people may experience a similar or the same traumatic event, and one person may develop PTSD, while the other does not. A person may be at greater risk of developing PTSD as a result of the severity of the traumatic experience. Other factors that may play a role in causing PTSD include your genetics and the prevalence of mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety in your [...]

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The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

The Benefits and Value of Self-Reflection

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-18T13:52:46+00:00October 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It’s easy to take it for granted that you know yourself. After all, you’ve spent every waking (and sleeping) moment of your life with yourself, so surely there aren’t any surprises left or illusions you have about yourself, right? For many of us, the truth is that we act in ways that seem inconsistent with who we say or think we are. Words come from our mouths that make us wonder, “Where did that come from?” Without self-reflection, we are mysteries even to ourselves. We are layered and complex beings. Sometimes we lie to ourselves about who we are; we have high hopes for ourselves, but we disappoint ourselves. We can try to motivate ourselves to act in certain ways but fail to gain traction because the motivation just doesn’t speak to us as much as we thought it would. All this points to the idea that we might not know ourselves as well as we think. Self-reflection through journaling Taking time out for self-reflection is crucial to developing your self-understanding. As you reflect, you can ponder over your actions, thoughts, reactions, and feelings to the things you encountered during your day or week. Ask yourself what challenged you, what inspired you, what puzzled you, or what stirred up powerful emotions such as fear or anger. Life gets busy, which means intentionality toward self-reflection is key. As you self-reflect, you don’t necessarily have to do it with a journal. A journal is helpful because you can always go back and refer to it. It captures the moment in ways that your memory might not, which makes it a valuable tool. With journaling apps out there in addition to written journals, it’s easier than ever to set your thoughts and reflections to paper. Taking the time to reflect through journaling [...]

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The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

The Importance of Knowing the Signs and Symptoms of Depression

McCartney Paul, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:29:53+00:00September 30th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Some days you can find yourself going through a tough time and wrestle with naming what’s happening to you. If you’re struggling with something and not feeling like yourself, it can affect everything around you, from your relationships to your work, and even your enjoyment of everyday activities. It can even mean not showing up for others and yourself the way you’d want to. Being able to identify symptoms of depression helps you to address it effectively. An experience that’s common to many Americans of every age and from every walk of life is depression. Depression is a mood disorder that causes persistent feelings of loss, sadness, and numbness to things that used to bring joy like hobbies or being with loved ones. Depression is more than just a bout of sadness; it affects how a person feels, thinks, and behaves. As a result, it can lead to having trouble with doing day-to-day tasks and enjoying life. Depression can also leave you feeling as though life isn’t worth living, and it’s not something that you simply “snap out” of or “get over”. If this is something that a loved one or you’re going through, it’s important to be able to recognize the signs of it, so that you can find the appropriate help. Symptoms of depression It isn’t being too dramatic to say that knowing what the signs and symptoms of depression are can be a life-or-death matter. Some of the symptoms of depression are so serious that they are life-threatening, and recognizing what’s going on, and then proceeding to take appropriate action is invaluable. If you see these signs and symptoms in yourself or a loved one, go to a health professional such as a doctor or a counselor to get help. The signs and symptoms of depression [...]

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Anxiety Symptoms in Men: Signs to Look For and Treatment Options

Anxiety Symptoms in Men: Signs to Look For and Treatment Options

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T12:00:16+00:00September 13th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Men’s Issues|

A man may be many things to many people – a friend, husband, brother, colleague, boss, hero, or villain – but at the heart of it all, he’s still just a person, with everything that entails. Anxiety and anxiety disorders are a daily reality for millions of people across the world. Though they typically affect women, anxiety and anxiety disorders also affect many men. Discerning the common anxiety symptoms in men can help a man find effective treatment options. How do men experience anxiety? Many men don’t often discuss their problems, and that includes struggles with anxiety or anxiety disorders. Anxiety affects people of all stripes, and it affects people regardless of gender. Men tend to put off getting support when they need it because of ideas of what masculinity is, including the thought that they’re meant to be tough and self-reliant. This mindset only makes it harder for men to not only acknowledge issues but to find solutions to them. Anxiety is a natural reaction to situations that are or appear threatening. It’s the feeling of uneasiness, dread, tension, or fear that often attends these experiences. People don’t all feel anxious for the same reason, and they respond to it differently, too. While anxiety is often associated with symptoms such as nervousness, sweating, or a rapid heartbeat, anxiety may also go beyond these symptoms. When men experience anxiety, they are more likely than women to deal with their anxiety through substance abuse. This might differ from women who will often turn to avoidance as a coping mechanism. Anxiety in men is often caused by issues such as family dynamics, work stress, heart disease, traumatic events, or a decline in testosterone levels. Men experience various types of anxiety and anxiety disorders, and these include obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social [...]

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Benefits of Premarital Counseling Questions

Benefits of Premarital Counseling Questions

Cyndi Kay Green2024-09-27T11:49:53+00:00August 26th, 2024|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Getting married is always a special time in a person’s life. We want to do the right things and take the right steps to cultivate a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Premarital counseling questions can help identify areas of concern that can be addressed before marriage. These questions can also help the couple understand the expectations about marriage. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:6-7, NIV Benefits of premarital counseling questions When a couple engages on a deeper level about their expectations for marriage, they can create a strong bond that will help them navigate the hard times. It can help them identify areas that could cause conflict and be able to address those issues positively and productively. Discussing expectations By discussing expectations in the confines of the marriage, the couple can come to an understanding of their role in creating a stable and healthy household. Healthy conflict resolution Developing skills for conflict management can reduce tension and disagreements in the future. Healthy conflict resolution also includes listening and understanding the other person’s feelings. Healthy communication In any relationship, communication is vital. This includes active, listening, and understanding what is being said, as well as responding in a healthy manner. Discussing hard topics Hard topics like finances, intimacy, and children can be hard to discuss. Identifying the conflicts and reaching resolutions can help the couple agree on future goals. Examine the values in needs Being able to openly discuss rules will reduce tension about certain areas of life. Learning to work through disagreements about responsibilities, beliefs, and needs will cultivate a healthy marriage. Identifying family behavior patterns Taking time to discuss the behavior patterns that have been a part of each [...]

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